


BatFam Drabbles

by Omgwow



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin (Comics), Robin: Son of Batman (Comics), Superman/Batman (Comics), Young Avengers (Comics), Young Justice (Cartoon), Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Blind Character, Blind Dick Grayson, Blindness, Depressed Dick Grayson, Depression, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Dick Grayson gonna get those hugs, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Dick Grayson is a Ray of Sunshine, Gen, Hurt Dick Grayson, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Panic Attacks, Suicide Attempt, Visually Impaired Dick Grayson, blind!Dick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2020-01-06 06:41:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 69,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18383048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Omgwow/pseuds/Omgwow
Summary: Just random drabbles with the BatFam and Blind!Dick as they navigate through their civilian and secret life! Stories may not be told in order and are just random stories that come to my mind





	1. First Meetings (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time Damian meets Tim, he tried to kill him. The first time Damian meets Dick, he thought Dick was a piano tuner.

First Meetings  
As far as first meetings went, Dick thought that his first meeting with Damian was one of the most confusing yet funniest ever. God, Damian was such a cute little thing, he really didn't understand why Tim and Jason hated Damian so much. Okay, that might have been an understatement, of course, he knew why Tim and Jason called Damian the demon child - he did, after all, try to kill Tim the first time they met.

What had happened that day was that Batman had walked into the Batcave with Damian Wayne. Talia had apparently dumped him with Batman and then left - yeah, she's so not winning mother of the year anytime soon. Red Hood and Robin (Dick was told they were in costume when it all went down) were in the Batcave working on some drug case that they intended to bust that night. Damian saw Robin and immediately reacted (why Damian decided to do that was beyond everyone - Tim and Jason and Bruce had all came to the conclusion that he's just a sword-happy child who's obsessed with killing), drawing out his sword and attacking Robin, who had dodged and jumped onto the dinosaur skeleton they had in the cave.  
\----------------------------------------------- FLASHBACK--------------------------------------------------  
"What the hell kid!"  
"Damian, get down here, now! And keep that sword. Tim is your brother, not your enemy."  
It was all a flurry of activity as both Jason and Bruce shouted while Tim started climbing down from the dinosaur.  
Damian huffed "He's not my brother. I'm obviously better than Drake is - I should be Robin instead of him. He's an imbecile"  
"Excuse me?" Tim said, beyond belief "Just who do you think you are? And how did you know my name?"  
"I'm Bruce Wayne's blood son. As you have so proven your incompetence once again, my name, as mentioned by Father previously, is Damian. I know all about you, Timothy Jackson Drake. Although, you're a pretty sorry excuse for Robin and I don't suppose you know anything about me. I know all about you too, Red Hood" Damian sneered "my mother was very through in her education about my father's so-called 'family'. Did you enjoy bathing in the Lazarus pit, Jason Todd? The League isn't done with your betrayal - you were to take down Batman and make him turn to us, not join Batman and his mission."  
"Wait. The League as in League of Shadows? Your mother is Talia Al Ghul?" Tim said.  
Damian's chest huffed with pride. Rubbing his fingers on his temple, Bruce nodded, "Yes, the League of Shadows"  
"What- How?" said Tim, who was quickly interrupted by Jason.  
"You know, this is fun and all, and I would really love to know all about how Bruce had a child with Talia but I think we should talk about this with Dick present as well. He's gonna want to know that Bruce suddenly has another son."  
"Right. Dick. Where is he?" Bruce asked, looking in the direction of the manor " I really hope he's somewhere in the Manor instead of with the Titans or Outsiders or those teams he's been leading."  
"Dick's upstairs. He promised to help us with the drug bust later tonight." Replied Tim as he and Jason walked to the lockers to change into civilian clothing.

"I think it's a hot chocolate conversation kinda day, don't you, Bruce?" Asked Jason. Tim agreed and the party headed over to the kitchen to find Alfred.  
"Hey Alf, think you can make us hot chocolate? 5 cups would be great." Said Tim.  
"Of course, Master Tim. Although, I have to ask, who's having the 5th cup? There's only 4 of you in the Manor today. Would I have to prepare a meal for our unknown guest?" Alfred asked as he turned around from preparing what Tim guessed to be their dinner for tonight. His eyes widened with shock when he saw Damian standing next to Bruce. "Ah, I see. That kind of hot chocolate. Will this young master be staying for dinner tonight?"  
Bruce flushed when he realised that Alfred had been staring at him intently, but was spared from explaining the situation to him when Damian spoke up first "Ah, you must be Pennyworth, Father's butler. Well, as Father's only blood son, I will be taking up residence in this manor permanently. So yes, I will be staying for dinner tonight. Nothing too bland would be satisfactory."  
"Of course, young master. And how would you like me to address you, young master?" Asked Alfred, not a single emotion present on his blank British face.  
"Damian is fine"  
"Of course, Master Damian. I'm glad to be of service to you. I shall start on the hot chocolates now. Master Bruce, you should be able to find Master Dick in the seating room. He mentioned something about wanting to tune Mistress Martha's piano."  
"Thank you Alfred" replied Bruce, who took a seat beside Tim and Jason at the kitchen counter while they waited for their hot chocolates.  
Damian, who had stopped paying attention after telling Pennyworth how he preferred to be addressed, had started wondering about where the sound of a piano was coming from. He was most definitely not interested in something as childish and undignified as a drink of Hot Chocolate and decided to slip away, and start exploring the manor on his own. This was, after all, going to be his house when his Father passed away.  
As he walked down the hallways of the vast manor, he got more and more curious about the sound of the piano that’s was coming from one of the rooms- he had never seen a piano in real life before. He wondered if Father would allow him to learn how to play the instrument, he heard that those who knew how to play the piano had very good left-right coordination- something that could help him with his combat skills. (No, it was most definitely not because the piano made the most melodious sounds ever). The sounds of the piano got louder and soon, Damian found himself standing outside a room looking at a grand piano, as well as a guy, who was hunched over the piano, seemingly turning something. He then hit the keys of the few highest notes and satisfied with how it sounded, sat down at the seat and began playing a rendition of what he recognized to be Chopin's Fantasy Impromptu. He was entranced as the person's fingers glided over the black and white keys effortlessly. He was so fascinated by the music that he did not realize the person had stopped playing and was staring at him with a smile - well, not really staring, more like looking. He had decided there and then that the person was a piano tuner that his Father had hired to keep the piano in good condition as he observed that there were several tools lying around the piano.  
Embarrassed about being caught off guard by the tuner, he cleared his throat and said "You have done a good job of tuning the piano. I am sure Father will be pleased. I will let him know about your superior performance and make sure he tips you generously for your services."  
The man's eye suddenly widened as he jumped, the smile falling off his face. That had confused Damian - he had so obviously been looking at Damian yet he was acting as if he was unaware that Damian was standing right there. A few tools clattered to the floor loudly - the man had obviously hit them by accident.  
Then, the man spoke "I'm sorry, do I know you? And who is your Father? I didn't know Bruce was having guests over today…."  
Damian privately thought there was something wrong with this guy's eyes. He was obviously looking in his direction, but his eyes were not focused on anything. They were a very beautiful blue though, kind of like his Fathers' eyes. "I am Damian Wayne, Bruce Wayne's son."  
The man looked even more confused now but had started muttering to himself instead of engaging Damian in conversation.  
Right then, Bruce, Tim and Jason had rushed over to see what the commotion was about.  
"Dick are you okay? Oh my god, Alfred was making us Hot Chocolates and we were going to bring them here and then suddenly we heard the huge crash and are you injured omg did you hurt yourself? Um, what are you doing here Damian? Were you trying to kill Dick too? Is that what this is about?" Tim was shouting as they got near the room they knew Dick was in, only stopping when he saw Damian was standing at the door looking awkward. Jason pushed pass Tim and Damian, who were blocking the door and walked over to Dick, who was standing by the piano with a look of confusion plastered on his face. He quickly gave Dick a once over to make sure he didn't injure himself from dropping the tools. "You kay Dickhead?"  
"Huh, um yeah… You mind telling me what's going on? One moment I'm tuning the piano and the next some kid comes in and tells me Bruce is his Father and I will be rewarded for my um, my superior performance?" Dick said, the look of bewilderment still stuck on his face as he tilted his face to face Jason. Jason wondered for a moment if that look will become permanent on Dick's face. He then imagined Nightwing's face being stuck in a perpetual state of confusion too and sniggered.  
"Is there something you find funny, Todd?"  
Great, forgot the demon spawn existed for a moment. He was saved from answering the demon when Bruce finally spoke up.  
"Dick, you good?" Seeing Dick's thumbs up, Bruce decided to continue "Damian, this is Dick. He's your oldest brother. Dick, this is Damian. Talia said he's my son. You know, we should all probably take a seat for this conversation. Tim, you mind getting our Hot Chocolates from Alfred?" He gestured to the sofas in the room while turning to Tim at the last bit.  
"No need, Master Bruce, I have them ready here. Master Dick, are you quite alright? I assume you didn’t hurt yourself accidentally due to the bomb that Master Bruce has just so casually dropped on us." Alfred said as he entered the room.  
"I'm good Alf. Thanks for the hot chocolate. Could really have a cup right now. So you guys just found out about this mini surprise too then? Damian?"  
"Yup" replied Tim, popping the p at the end.  
At the same time, Damian spoke up "So, you're the first Robin then. Richard John Grayson."  
"Er… sure thing Damian." Dick responded, the same confused expression still stuck on his face. Jason quietly guided Dick to a sofa nearby and they both sat down, Dick still doing the thing where he was looking but not really.  
"What is wrong with you?" Damian finally burst out. "Aren't you supposed to be the boy wonder? Can't you get around on your own?" His anger only got worse when Dick still didn't look at him. "Didn't anyone tell you it's rude to not look at a person when they're speaking?"  
"Damian! Take that back!" Shouted Tim  
"Damian!" Growled Jason and Bruce, voices edging close to anger(?)  
On the other hand, Dick had suddenly started laughing, and he was laughing so much everyone had the confused face that Dick had just moments ago.  
"Oh god, this is ….the best day of my life, ever. I can't believe Ra's never told him… Oh god….. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA…..Dude….. I thought Ra's was obsessed with me… clearly not obsessed enough to tell his grandson….. OMG….. HAHAHAHAHAHAH"  
Tim was clearly upset at Dick's reaction and said "that's not funny" but Dick continued laughing like someone just cracked the greatest joke in the world instead of making fun of him. Bruce and Jason just shared an exasperated look at Dick's reaction. Damian, on the other hand, had enough of his laughter and shouted "STOP IT! What do you mean my grandfather didn't tell me? He shared all of his knowledge with me! I know all that I need to know about each of you!"  
"So, you're telling me…. you're telling me that Ra's didn’t feel a need for you to know that I'm blind? Oh My God, Ra's….. HAHAHAHAHAH" Dick replied between his fits of giggle.  
Jason was the first to react to that "Guess that means Ra's really never cared that you were blind since he obviously considered you worthy enough to not feel a need to let people know you're blind cause you never let it be your weakness?"  
"Huh, maybe." Dick responded, finally getting some control over his laughing fit.  
"Be that as it may, Damian, the behaviour which you have just displayed was unacceptable. Apologise to Dick."  
"It's okay Bruce, he didn't know."  
At the same time, Damian said: "I'm not going to apologise to someone less than me and so clearly incapable of handling himself."  
That did it for Jason, who stood up abruptly and walked to where Damian was. "How dare you. How dare you say that about Dick. He had just defended you and your ignorance and you respond to that by insulting him further? Can you even handle his life for one day kid? Huh? Are you itching for a fight?"  
"Jason," Bruce and Dick said at the same time. Jason glared at Bruce. He was angry that Bruce allowed this to even happen, for bringing this demon to the manor and letting him insult Dickhead, who just sat there like a dummy accepting what Damian had said. However, he decided to stand down because he reasoned that if Dick could stand the demon's barrage of insults, then so could he.  
Damian, on the other hand, was all riled up by Jason and had jumped from his chair, attacking Dick with his sword. If he could prove to Father that he was better than Dick, as well as Drake, who had cowardly climbed onto a dinosaur, then perhaps Father would see that he should be made Robin. After all, what better way to prove his worth than by defeating the first Boy Wonder? The only person other than his Father that his grandfather was obsessed with. Of all the outcomes he predicted, he did not expect that Dick would just casually catch his sword in-between his index and middle finger. Dick then proceeded to twist the sword that was tightly stuck between his fingers, which led to Damian's hand twisting along with it as well. Damian quickly let go of the sword, not wanting to embarrass himself further in front of his Father, as well as Drake and Todd.  
Taking a look around, he saw that Todd and Drake were both smiling smugly at Damian, while Father was looking at him in slight (?) disappointment. Dick was still sitting there, looking calm. The only difference between now and then was that there was now a sword with him - his body hadn't moved at all. Sensing that his presence was all but welcome after what he had pulled, he huffed and left the room, deciding to continue touring the mansion on his own.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
"So, kid's definitely Bruce and Talia's son, huh? That temper has got to be legendary" Dick joked, trying to lighten the mood in the room.  
"I should go find him," Bruce said, clearly uncomfortable with the whole situation.  
"Eh, I'm sure Alfred can handle him. You, on the other hand, have a lot to tell us" Dick said.  
"He's a demon" sulked Jason.  
"I'm sure he's not that bad Jay, he's just a confused kid" replied Dick.  
"He tried to kill me within the first 5 minutes of meeting me!" Tim all but shouted.  
"So cute."  
"Cute?" Jason asked. "He threw Tim off the dinosaur! And I know he only hasn't gone for me because I'd beat the tar out of him!"  
"He's cute like you were," Dick said. "Trying to be tough and acting like his place in the family is dependent on whether or not he dresses up in costume and goes out at night with the big bad bat to fight evil."  
Jason squirmed. "Oh, no, tell me I was not as bad as that one. Please, Dick, I'll clean your room or let you make me do aerials or something but please."  
"No thanks, you will probably mess up my room and I'll end up falling flat on my face or something. So Bruce, talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's their respective ages and what they're doing now in this AU
> 
> Dick - 22, graduated from Uni and has been helping out at WE for 3 years now (Yes, he's a genius and entered Uni when he was 15!)  
> Jason - 20, Currently in Gotham U - Majoring in Criminology + occasionally helps out in the PR department when it comes to fundraisers for orphanages and other shelters - Dick has been attempting to pull him into PR because Dick's convinced he's a big softie who would do a great job  
> Tim - 16, Currently in Gotham U too because he's also a kid genius (He choose Gotham U bc he didn't want to leave his family - Attachment Issues) - Majoring in Business Management and Mechanical Engineering + Made HOD for R&D at Wayne Tech  
> Cass- 16, Currently being awesome in general  
> Damian -9. Another kid genius in the family (they just don't know it yet)


	2. First Meetings (Part 2)

First Meetings (Part 2)  
"If my awesome big brother powers are anything to go by, one of us should stay behind to watch Damian while the rest of us goes on patrol. After what you've told us Bruce, I'm not sure I feel comfortable leaving the kid unsupervised. Even with Alf around, there's no saying what the kid might attempt to do if he were to think that doing that would gain your approval."  
"What do you mean"  
Dick sent his own version of the batglare at where he thought Bruce was at. "God Bruce, the kid is obviously desperate to gain your approval. I can't believe the World's Greatest Detective still hasn't picked up on it yet. He was raised an assassin and if how the league of shadows operates is anything close to what we think it is, I wouldn't be surprised if the kid was praised by Talia and Ra's for killing people or defeating them in combat. That's why the first thing he did was to attack Robin - he thinks that if he defeats Robin in combat, you would be proud of him and make him Robin instead. Its basic operant conditioning. It also explains why he tried to attack me. It wasn't because he thought I was weak because I was blind, but because if he managed to land an actual hit on me, he believed that he would be rewarded with your trust."  
Bruce simply grunted as a response. Dick noticed that Tim and Jason had gone very quiet and took that as his cue to continue speaking "So. One of us should stay behind to watch the kid while the rest goes on patrol. We don't want him going out on a killing spree in some weird attempt to gain Bruce's attention or praise."  
"As much as you have a point Dick, you know we're trying to take down the drug deal tonight. We need all hands on deck. Plus, who would want to watch that demon? He's already insufferable and tried to kill 2 people today." Tim pointed out.  
"That shouldn't be a problem Timmy. Cass is back from her mission already. I can check with her if she feels up for patrol with you guys tonight. If she doesn't mind, then I don't mind staying behind and looking after Damian. I'll be on comms all night so if you guys really need me then I'll be there."  
"Dude! What if he actually hurts you?"  
"I'll be okay Jay, he's not a match for me. Plus, without Bruce around, he'll be less likely to have killing tendencies as there is no reward for him that he can see so he'll most likely control his impulses and wait for when Bruce is around before he actually tries to kill me or Tim again. What do you say, Bruce?" replied Dick.  
"Contact Cass. If he tries something in the manor, I expect you'll be able to take care of it. If it gets out of hand, let us know." Bruce finally said.  
"Sure thing Brucie"  
"Are you going to do that weird creepy psychoanalysis thing on him Dick - because if you are, you better update us on your conclusions." Tim suddenly said  
"Poor kid. Getting psychoanalyzed by Dick is the worst thing ever. Who even allowed him to get a second degree in Psychology? Then again, I don't really feel bad for the demon since he did try to murder you both" Jason added, shivering at his own memories of being tricked into talking about feelings by Dick.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Damian found himself standing in the Batcave looking as his Father and "brothers" suit up.  
"Can I come?"  
"No. We do not know your abilities. We will talk about this again." Batman replied.  
"Hey guys Cass said she'll meet you at the docks. Oracle will be running point." Nightwing said, from his seat at the Bat Computer.  
Damian did not know what a blind guy was doing, sitting in front of the Bat Computer. It's not like he can see what's on the screen. He was also slightly upset that he did not reach the Batcave earlier so that he could be the one seated at the computer. No one thought to inform him that that they were going out on patrol until he realised that the manor itself was too silent. He was not surprised that they did not allow him to follow on patrol. He expected as much since they didn’t inform him they were leaving. It didn't really matter to him anyways. He would find a way to slip out and join them, take out the drug deal and gain his Father's approval, replacing Drake as Robin and claim his rightful place by his Father. He watched as Red Hood left on his bike while Robin and Batman left in the Batmobile. Wait. Where's Nightwing?

  
"Why are you still here? They've all left already." Damian turned to asked Grayson, who was currently still seated in front of the Bat computer.  
"I'm backup." was all Grayson offered Damian. Damian silently let out a string of curse words as having Nightwing around ruined his plans of sneaking out. He felt angry at Grayson, who was currently still ignoring him. Maybe he would be able to sneak out without Nightwing noticing. The guy was, after all, blind and clearly incapable of handling a drug bust with his Father since they saw the need to coddle him and make him backup. If sneaking out failed, then he would attack Grayson and make sure that Grayson would be unable to stop him from leaving.  
Just as he was plotting, Grayson spoke "Do you want to spar with me?"  
Of all the things Damian had expected Grayson to say, that was not it. He had now surprised Damian 2 times in a day. That was more than Damian had expected. He knew so much about the family. Hardly anything should be able to shock him and yet Grayson had done so twice in a day. Damian did not wish to spar with Grayson. However, this was a good a chance as any to beat him unconscious and sneak out - Father wouldn't be able to blame him for injuring Grayson if he had himself asked for it.

  
"Fine. I will spar with you since you seem so incapable of amusing yourself when there is no one else around."  
Grayson gave him a smile that seemed pleased (?). Damian felt as though he was a prey that had walked into a trap.  
They walked to the sparring mats and Grayson grabbed a sword while Damian drew his own from his back. "Are you sure you should be using a sword, Grayson. Your family did not trust you with blunt piano tuning tools and rushed in at the sound of them clattering. I'm surprised you're allowed to be near something this sharp."  
"Guess you'll be the judge of whether I should be allowed near them Dami" Grayson replied with the same grin he had give Damian earlier. Damian was confused. What does it take to make this person mad? Grandfather had taught him that when a person fights emotionally, they will be more likely to make mistakes. However, it seemed to Damian that an insult to Grayson was obviously not enough for him to get mad.  
"Its Damian."  
"Aw, but Dami sounds cuter" Grayson replied while he started attacking Damian, pleased to have annoyed the boy enough for him to not pay attention.  
"I am not cute Grayson!"  
"Sure thing Dami. Whatever you say"  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
They had been sparring for 2 hours and Nightwing was still going strong - Damian had yet to land more than a few hits on Grayson, but if Damian were to be truthful to himself, he was starting to tire and he did not wish to wear himself out before sneaking out. He would be of no use outside if he was tired and sloppy, and would only embarrass himself.  
"You know, if you're tired you could just say so."  
"I am NOT tired!"  
"You're slowing and your hits aren't as precise as they were 2 hours ago," Nightwing said as he moved his sword up to block Damian's attack.  
"Perhaps it is just because I am bored of sparring with you Grayson"  
"We can stop if you're bored too." Damian briefly considered this statement. He really wanted to stop, but now that Grayson had suggested it as if it was a replacement excuse for Damian to stop, there was no way he was going to stop now. He knew he had to land a few serious hits on Grayson if he wanted to get out of the situation without feeling like a loser. Somehow, when he made this decision, he felt that Grayson was manipulating him into tiring himself out. What the hell? Stopping now would make him look like a weakling but not stopping would just mean he would tire himself out before he managed to sneak out. What kind of double bind did he get himself into?  
He was pulled out of his thought when he found a sword pointed directly at his throat. "There. You're dead. Now go take a break."  
"You got lucky. That won't be happening again." With renewed strength driven by this weird and misplaced desire to prove himself to Grayson, he began attacking with his sword again. Wait, he was here to gain his Father's approval. Why is he trying to prove himself to Grayson now? Nothing makes sense.  
"You know, your presence here as Bruce's son isn't dependent on whether or not you go out and fight crime at night with them."  
"Of course it isn't. I'm Father's only true son. Everything here will belong to me eventually."  
"Then why are you so eager to go out and prove yourself? If it is as you claim, all you have to do is wait a few years and everything will be yours. But that's not it, is it?"  
"Shut up Grayson, I did not ask for your opinion" Damian replied as he lifted his sword to strike again.  
"Think about it Dami, if you truly believed that being Bruce's only blood son meant that you would inherit everything, you wouldn't have tried to kill Tim or me just a few minutes into meeting us. You were obviously trying to prove something with your actions, but what is it that you're trying to prove?"  
"Perhaps it is simply because you are all nuisances and I would love to get rid of all of you."  
"Is that really so? It's pretty obvious to me that you were trying to get Bruce's approval in the only way you knew. By defeating a foe in combat. I'm not sure if Bruce or your mother has told you this before, but Bruce frowns upon excessive violence and killing. If you truly want his approval, maybe you should think about what qualities Bruce looks for in his partners instead of forcing the ideals of the league onto him." Dick said as he twisted graciously, this time, pointing his sword at Damian's heart "You've died again. Take a break. I'm not asking."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're wondering why  
> 1\. It was mentioned that Ra's Al Ghul was obsessed with Dick  
> 2\. Dick choose to use a sword against Damian and won twice without even feeling lethargic
> 
> Its because Dick actually defeated Ra's Al Ghul in a sword fight before(this actually happened guys im not kidding). So Ra's obviously became obsessed with this child who doesn't even actually prefer using swords in fighting and yet had Bested him, an expert and one of the best swordmasters in the world. Knowing that Damian grew up with the League of Assasins, Dick knew that Damian would naturally prefer to use a sword in combat and so he took a sword to combat with Damian as well. Of course, as a psych major, there's another reason. He wanted to understand the kid more and it was important to make Damian feel at ease so that he will let down his guards and open up. But seeing that Damian is miles away from where he grew up, and is in an unfamiliar place with an unfamiliar person to call his Father, the best way to create an environment of ease would be to recreate an activity that he is familiar with AKA engaging in combat with swords. Hence the invite to spar and hence the decision to use a sword instead of his escrima sticks. The next thing he did was to wait for Damian to start showing signs of lethargy before he started asking Damian questions. When the mind is relaxed and tired, it is more susceptible to outside influence and suggestions. And knowing this, Dick exploited the situation and used it to make Damian question his own actions without looking like he told/ordered the child what to do - which he knows won't work.  
> So yeah, Dick is a genius and Damian played right into his hands the moment he agreed to spar.


	3. A Day at Starbucks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3 Weeks after Damian was introduced to the family, they spend a day at Starbucks

It was a nice sunny Sunday morning. Alfred was off visiting his niece in England while Bruce was in Hong Kong with Cassandra doing whatever they do. Tim had barely made his way to the kitchen when Dick's overly chirpy voice reached his still sleepy ears. "Morning Timbo! I'm having a craving for Campfire Mocha - think you're up for driving me out to bucks?"

Tim looked up and saw Dick walking towards him with a cup of coffee in his hands. Tim grunted and accepted the coffee - the family knew by now not to expect any response from him until he's had his morning coffee. Tim blames Dick. He really does. Dick was the one who got him addicted to caffeine at the tender age of 12  and now he can't function without coffee in his system. After he finished his cup of coffee, he replied "Sure, I'm always up for those ice blended things. Is Jay up yet? We should probably check with him before he spends the whole day bitching about how we didn't include him in our 'conquest for early death and diabetes,'" To which Dick huffed out a laugh. He checked his watch - a gift from Tim last year - the watch was tactile and allowed him to 'feel' the time instead of needing his phone to read out loud the time to him or having to ask someone else. "It's only 8 am, Jay's probably not going to be awake enough to make any important life decisions such as subjecting himself to an early onset of heart attack. We can text him later and see if he wants anything when we're there." Suggested Dick.

"Sounds good, see you in the garage in 10? I gotta go change into something that's not my PJs and grab my stuff"

"Me too! Thanks Timmy! Best bro ever!" Dick replied, making a move to give Tim a hug.

"Where are you two going?" Damian's voice appeared just as suddenly as he did in front of Tim and Dick.

"Morning Dami! We're going to Starbucks!" Dick replied, stopping his motion to hug Tim, instead turning to face Damian.

"What's Starbucks? Can I come too?" Damian shyly asked Dick. He hadn't been out of the manor much, considering that Bruce still didn't really trust him to go out unsupervised without him killing someone.

"Sure Dami!"

"No Way!" Tim immediately responded. Seeing Damian's crestfallen face, Tim immediately continued " Damian, Starbucks sells coffee. You're only 10. That's too young to be drinking coffee." To be perfectly honest, Tim really didn't want Damian to come along. Ever since that night where Dick gave Damian "The Talk" while everyone else was out dealing with the drug thing, Damian had slowly become more and more clingy towards Dick. He wondered if the kid knew that he was doing it. And no, he's Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne. He was most definitely not jealous that Dick had been spending more time with Damian than him. No. He's 16. He can do better than be some jealous kid vying for his older brother's attention. He just wanted to spend some time with Dick today without the demon hanging around. What's wrong with that? "Oh crap, I'm jealous of the demon child," Tim thought to himself.

"I'm not young! If you're allowed coffee, Drake, then so should I." Damian immediately defended.

"Hey uh how about this. You can come along with us, but no coffee for you okay! You can get those chocolate things they sell instead. And no trying to kill Tim or anyone else when we're out. That okay with you both?" Dick suggested, his hands reaching out to ruffle both Tim's and Damian's head - only for Damian to duck, leaving his left hand swiping the air. He missed Tim's head as well and accidentally smacked Tim on the forehead instead. "Ouch! Dick!" Tim whined while Damian started sniggering. "Urgh! Okay fine, he can come too." Tim turned to Damian "10 mins and if you're not in the garage by the time I am, you're not going!"

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Damian changed in a flash and ran down to the garage to wait for Tim and Dick. He had never been to Starbucks before - he only knows that it is a place that sells overly sweet coffee to hipsters and teenagers. To be honest, he was kinda excited to have a drink from Starbucks. If Dick likes it, then maybe he would too. He still didn't understand his weird desire to be praised and liked by Dick, not that he'd ever admit it to the guy. It was so weird. (See A/N at the bottom to find out why Damian has this weird urge)

 

Tim, on the other hand, stood outside Dick's room waiting for him. After a few moments, Dick appeared in his 'casual clothes' - he doesn’t actually know what he's wearing. Only that they're comfy and Alfred + Stylist approved. And probably from some very expensive brand. He grabbed a sunglass from his sunglass collection - once again, he suspected most of the Alfred + Stylist approved ones were very expensive and branded. Of course, he also owned other pairs of sunglasses - those were the ones Tim or Jay or Babs or Wals or whoever had gotten for him as gag gifts. He suspected they were cute but he can't really tell. They were kept in a different drawer to ensure that he didn't accidentally wear a gag glass out when he went to work. He took his white cane - collapsed at the moment- and stuffed it into his pockets. He didn’t really need to use it if anyone from the family were around to guide him. He exited his room, sunglasses perched on his nose and walked down to the garage with Tim. Tim guided Dick to his car in the garage - that was mainly the reason why he waited outside Dick's room. While Dick would have made it to the garage just fine, they owned too many cars - and the cars were never parked in the same place so Dick probably wouldn't know which car they were taking out. His car was a space-grey coloured Tesla Roadster - gifted to him by Dick and Bruce when he got his driving license. Damian climbed into the back before they unfolded the front seat so that Dick could get in.

 

"Nice car" Damian commented when Tim started up the engine. He remembered Dick telling him about the kid's interest in automobiles and decided to give him a rundown of the car. "Thanks. It's electric so the car can go from 0 to 60 mph in 1.9 seconds. Wanna see it accelerate?"

"You know that doing that is gonna give you whiplash right Tim? Just because the car can do it doesn’t mean that you should." Dick spoke up from his seat. Tim threw a glance back at Damian, who was now looking at the speedometer in fascination - and made up his mind.

"Yup. Still going to do it anyways. Don't worry I won't give you whiplash. I'll do it gently." Dick frowned in response as he felt Tim floor the accelerator and the car gain speed. Damian was still looking at the speedometer as the car hit top speed.

"This car is better than the Batmobile. It's so silent. Even for an electric car." Was all Damian managed to say, still fascinated by the car's mechanics.

"Mmhmm" Was all Dick managed as he grabbed his seat belt tightly - reconsidering his decision to gift Tim a sports car. "Damn Tim, we should have gotten you a normal boring four-seat sedan instead of this. I can't believe I let Bruce and Uncle Elon talk me into agreeing with getting you this."

"You know, Uncle Elon doesn't say it openly, but I know he designed this car with you in mind."

"Hmm what do you mean?"

"Well you told him you would really love to ride a sports car someday but they were too loud and gave you migraines. What better way to fulfil his dear nephew's wishes than producing an electric sports car that has all the rush but none of the sounds?" Tim smirked as he explained.

"Huh, never thought about it that way… Hold on, does that mean that you knew about the car even before we bought it? Was I tricked into thinking it was for you when it was just because they knew I would be making you drive me around once you had a car! Tim!" Dick slowly drawled out as he figured out the true reason why Bruce was so adamant on getting Tim this car. Tim just sniggered back in response. As they reached Gotham's city central, Tim slowed the car to normal city speeds and drove the car into Starbucks with ease.

 

They got off the car and Dick let his collapsible cane fall to its full length while Tim moved to his left and offered him his elbow. The trio made their way to Starbucks and found a cosy seat close to the windows. Dick sat down and folded his cane, leaving it on the coffee table, while Tim and Damian went to make their orders. It was only 9 am and they decided to finish their drinks before calling Jason. Dick settled into his chair and allowed himself to explore to his surroundings - there was the familiar sound of the coffee machine, clinking of coffee cups. A few tables over there was a family with kids- the mother sounded very tired. Somewhere in front of him, there were the sounds of someone typing on a laptop. The place smelled like every other Starbucks did - Sweet coffee, mixed with the scents of pastries. The air felt cool, although he could feel the heat from the Sun penetrating the glass window. Soon, Tim and Damian came back and joined him at the table as they waited for the barista to call their names.

"So, what did you get Dami?"

"I got a Double Chocolate Chip crème and a glazed bagel." Damian replied quietly. Sensing something was off, Dick asked "What's wrong? You're being uncharacteristically quiet today. No comments on the performance of the Barista who took your orders?"

"People keep staring at you. I don't like it."

"Aw the demon child cares about you Dick" Tim commented, allowing himself a small smile at Damian's behaviour. It was so different from when he first met Dick three weeks ago, when he assumed Dick was simply a piano tuner and had insulted Dick in front of everyone, going as far as calling him someone "less than".

Dick only offered a shrug at what Damian had said. He knew people were looking at him but was used to it - be it because he was blind or because he was Dick Grayson-Wayne, Vice-President of Wayne Enterprises, son of billionaire Bruce Wayne, his presence was always going to be the centre of attention - he was too high profile. Not wanting Damian to feel uncomfortable and act out or accidentally kill someone for staring, Dick said "Don't worry about it Dami. Its what happens when you go out with the sons of Bruce Wayne. When Bruce starts bringing you to his parties and galas, you'll become just as eye-catching as Timmy and me."

The barista called out Tim's name and he motioned for Damian to follow along to collect their drinks and food. Dick inwardly sighed. Poor Damian. Maybe bringing him out was a bad idea - he seemed really uncomfortable when everyone was looking at them, Dick thought it almost felt like he wanted to flee. He was, after all, an assassin, and was used to lurking around in the shadows instead of being seen out in broad daylight. Dick wondered if it was because they had recognized who he and Tim were, or because it was because he was blind. He was pulled out of his musings when Tim returned with Damian. He heard them put down the food as Tim said "1 o'clock". His hand reached out in the direction of 1 o'clock and closed around his cup of coffee, gingerly taking a few sips through the straw. He smiled when he heard Damian taking a few sips of his own hot chocolate drink. "How is it?" he asked.

"Acceptable. Pennyworth makes better hot chocolate." He laughed and nodded in agreement when Tim spoke up "That's only because you've never tried Dick's hot chocolate. They're the best." At this, Damian turned to look at Dick "Is that true? When can I try some?"

Dick smirked at that "That's for me to know and you to find out. I only make them on certain special occasions."

The trio were broken out of their conversation about hot chocolate when Dick's phone rang "Jason, Jason, Jason". Dick quickly picked up his phone so as to not attract any more unwanted attention to themselves "Morning Sunshine! You're up early."

_" Hey, where are you guys. Didn't even leave a note. I wake up and find that there's no one home."_

"We went to Starbucks. We were gonna call you when we were done eating since you usually don't wake up this early."

_"WHAT! THE TWO OF YOU WENT OUT WITH THE DEMON TO STARBUCKS BUT DECIDED NOT TO TELL ME?"_

Dick pulled his phone away from his ears slightly as he waited for Jason to finish his rant.

_" I can’t believe you two would leave without me! I want in on your pursuit of diabetes and early deaths too you know! Which Starbucks are you at? Wait for me there. I'm coming over. I need to get some breakfast anyways."_

"Hold on, let me pass the phone to Tim. He can tell you."

Dick held out the phone for Tim, who picked it up and told Jason where they were. Curious, Damian turned to Dick and asked "Don't you know where we are?", to which Dick replied "No, not really. I wasn't paying attention to all the turns Tim made and there's at least 3 Starbucks in the area I think we're at."

"What? So you just blindly trust Drake to bring you places?"

"Blindly. Hah! Nice one. And yes Dami, I trust Tim fully to take me to where I need to go. It's not like I'm about to drive myself anywhere any time soon." Dick paused, then continued "For what's it worth Damian, I trust you to not get me lost as well."

While they were on the conversation of Dick's capabilities in his civilian identity without his Nightwing gear, Damian decided to ask more questions that he has been curious about.

"How are you always so nicely dressed? I have seen your closet, you have many articles of clothing in there. If you can't see, how do you manage to look more put together than Father does?"

Dick was surprised but pleased at his brother's sudden curiosity in him. At least he's behaving like a proper 10-year-old and asking normal 10-year-old questions now. "Aw, you think I'm nicely dressed? Thanks, Dami. See, the thing is I don't actually have any idea what I'm wearing. Every 3 months or so, Alfred and a stylist Bruce hires come together to help me match my outfits. I just kinda choose what material feels nice and they do the rest of the work. They then leave a very specific set of instructions on what goes with what for what occasions and I just follow it."

Hearing what Dick had said, Damian felt a pang of guilt for insulting him the way he did when he first came to the manor. Seeing that Drake was still on the phone engaged in a conversation with Todd, he decided to do something he himself never expected he would. Quietly, Damian asked, "Would you like to know what you're wearing now then?"

Dick looked very surprised at his question, then settled into a soft smile "Sure Damian. What am I wearing today?"

"You're wearing a light blue v neck top with dark blue jeans. In fact, your whole outfit today is very blue. They blend very well together and it looks very casual. Your aviators are blue too. Do you know what the colour blue is Grayson?"

"Nope, I've never seen anything before, remember? Although, I have a faint idea - Babs told me blue was vastness and smells like clean linen. Jay said it was the colour of the sky. Wally told me that blue was the colour that one associated with water and ice. That's weird though, how can the sky and ice be the same thing? Tim told me that blue was Nightwing's colour. What do you think the colour blue is, Dami?" Dick asked encouragingly. This was the most initiative Damian had shown in 3 weeks when it came to communicating like a child and he wasn't about to let go of a chance to better understand the kid. He mildly noted that Tim had already ended his conversation with Jay and was probably trying to listen to see what Damian would say as well.

"Well, they're not wrong. Blue has many shades. You're decked in 3 shades of blue today. Did you know your eyes are blue too Grayson? Your eyes share the same shade of blue as Father's. Todd, Drake and I have blue eyes too. They're a different blue from yours and Father's though. Your eyes are the colour of nights in the desert, where you could lay in the sand and look up at the vast nothingness and the sky is dark blue an there are the dying stars glowing in the distance reminding you of how small you are in the universe. They're steady and loyal and conveys faith and feels like home. Todd and Drake's eyes are blue, but their blue is more mysterious and confident. When they stare at you it makes you feel like they know something that you don't. The aviators you're wearing has a silver trim. Silver is like a metallic grey, but also not really. It’s the colour of most metals - like blue, its cool and secretive. However, Silver is also very confident and feels like it is ready to conquer the world and nothing can stop it. At the same time, Silver is very willing to play the role of a subordinate, silently supporting other colours and helping them to stand out more.  The glass of the aviators are a mirror blue - if they look at the glasses, they can see their reflection in it. Mirror blue is very secretive and mysterious, kind of like Todd and Drake's eyes when they judge you and you see yourself in their eyes. Your tank top is a pastel blue - it feels like windy days and the smell of baby nurseries. Your jeans are the colour of sadness and stormy evenings."

"Huh. So I look like a walking weather forecast gone wrong?" Dick questioned

"No. The colours blend together very nicely to give people a feeling of a breezy Sunday. It looks very nice." Damian replied.

"You know, you're very good at this Dami. I should get you to describe things more often for me."

"Yeah, I think you've outdone Babs in describing colours. I've never heard anyone describe Blue in so much detail before." Tim added from his seat, giving Damian a small smile.

"That's just because you're terrible at it Tim, who the hell describes Blue as 'the colour of Nightwing'. Even Cass did a better job at it than you." Jason added - No one noticed when he had come or how much he had heard.

Damian flushed. He had allowed himself to get so caught up describing blue to Grayson that he hadn't realized that Drake and Todd were listening too.

"So, what's Timmy wearing today?" Dick asked, curious.

"Tt. You could ask Drake that yourself." Damian replied. Dick turned to Tim and asked "So Tim? What are you wearing today?"

"Um, I'm wearing black." There was a long silent pause as Dick stared at him, seemingly waiting for him to continue "Um, it’s a very neutral colour? Like nothing? Darkness? Kinda like Batman?"

Dick only raised his eyebrows at Tim while Jason snorted out in laughter "Oh man Timbo you're really terrible at this. Black is kinda like Batman? OH Man, this is golden. I'm like 100% sure DARKNESS and NOTHING is literally all Dick sees all the time so how is that a good explanation for what you're wearing? Don't let Babs hear you say that… she might strangle you. For someone so smart you're really terrible at describing you know that? Don't worry Dickiebird I've got you. Tim looks boring as usual. Boring as in Wayne Tech meeting kind of boring. Geez, we really need to put some fun colours in your wardrobe."

"Speak for yourself, Jason. You wear nothing but red all the time. God forbid that people don't know it's your favourite colour." Tim defended

"Hey! At least I wear different shades of Reds. You don't even wear any shade except Black. For your information Dick, I'm wearing a dark red shirt with black jeans. Dark Red as in dried blood and passionate red.  Black as in Tim is boring kind of black."

At this, Dick just laughed. "So, you guys got any plans for today?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the actual explanation for why Damian feels this weird urge to please Dick (Poor Kid has no idea what hit him)
> 
> Dick noticed that for a 10-year-old, Damian always acts like he's 20 and always tries to control his emotions and not let them show - which is obviously unhealthy. He also seems to have problems communicating his thoughts when it comes to emotive things such as feeling happy or upset and seems to be stuck in a perpetual state of anger AKA he uses anger as a yardstick for his emotions. Happy? - Performance is acceptable.  
> Upset? - Angry and wants to kill someone  
> Missing his mom? - Angry and wants to kill someone  
> Confused? - Angry and wants to kill someone  
> Insulted? - Angry and wants to kill someone  
> (and the list goes on) 
> 
> Noticing this, Dick makes it his job to make sure the kid can relax and behave as a normal 10-year-old child would. The first step to doing that was to provide a caring and nurturing environment which promotes talking about emotions (like what he did when he asked Damian what he thought the colour blue was, since describing colours to a blind person would involve Damian having to practice empathy, patience and understanding). Since Bruce and the other members of his family save Alfred all have issues with communication, he decided to be the one to shower Damian with praises every time he does something good. Whether Damian appreciates it or not doesn't matter. Because of how Operant Conditioning works, Damian used to be rewarded when he killed someone or restraint his emotions. But with Dick, Dick rewards and praises him when he controls his urges to kill someone or lash out in anger. Since Damian is ultimately a 10-year-old, his mind craves attention and praise. Because Dick only gives him that attention and praise when he doesn't use his anger to resolve problems, Damian slowly becomes more empathetic and able to control his killing tendencies. So, while Damian doesn't understand why he has this weird urge to please Dick, Dick totally does and is super pleased that his plan is working.


	4. People are Dicks (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continued from "A day at Starbucks" Damian finds out how ableist people can get.

 

People are dicks. That was the conclusion Damian had come to at the end of the day. The four of them had decided that since Alfred was not at home and they had to settle their lunch alone, they would bring Damian around to tour Gotham city in the morning until lunch time, pick up Babs for lunch, send her home and then hang around in Wayne Tech while Dick signed some documents on behalf of Bruce. Fun.

Damian had wanted to ride with Jason on his motorcycle, and Jason, after patting down Damian to make sure he didn't have any secret weapons on him, agreed. Jason was still scared that Damian would try to murder him even though the kid had promised not to after Dick had "The Talk" with Damian. He briefly wondered if the kid knew Dick had a degree in Psychology and then decided quickly that NO, he did not want the kid to know. He might just flip out and decide that he does not trust any of them anymore and kill them. Dying and coming back to life once was enough for Jason _thank you very much_. They were currently in Gotham Park, and Tim had gone to get some ice cream for himself. Damian and Jason did not want any after their heavy breakfast at Starbucks. Dick was standing next to Jason, his white cane loosely held in his right hand while his left hand was hooked around Jason's elbow.

"So… Are you like his babysitter?"

“What?” Jason growled. “I'm sorry, I may have misheard you. Did you seriously just ask if I was responsible for the care of my 22-year-old brother?”

"What did you just imply about my brother?" Questioned Damian at the same time.

"I mean, he's blind right? It's so nice of you guys to volunteer to spend your weekends taking him out." The random passerby said. Damian could see that Jason was trying to hold back his anger and found himself doing the same. His muscles tensed as he dug his fingernails into his palm.

 

"You know, I'm standing right here," Dick spoke up.

 

"Yes, you are! You must be so brave, coming out on a weekend to Gotham Park when there's so many people and obstacles around. It must have taken a lot of courage for you to go through your life. Can I pray for you?" At that, Dick frowned.

 

"Please don't turn my disability into your fetish," Dick replied. Off to the side, Jason snorted and Damian noticed Tim coming over.

 

"Oh, I did not mean to insult you. I swear! I am so sorry! I just wanted to applaud you, young man. You must have overcome a lot of obstacles in your life. And you have a very cute kid brother too! Do you know that he looks absolutely adorable?"

 

Tim had overhead the conversation and quickly made his way over before Jason beat the woman to pulps. He did not wish to visit the prison to bail Jason out today. Nope. "I'm sure he doesn't need a passerby to tell him what his brother looks like Ma'am. It would be advisable if you took your leave now. Before our brother, Jason beats you up."

 

"Oh! I'm so sorry. I'll go now. God bless you, young man." The person said as she quickly made her leave, only just noticing the feral look on Jason's face and clenched fists.

 

"Why do people always assume that I need someone to tell me how my brothers look? I'm almost convinced that it's like all of you are super handsome and I'm missing out on the biggest visual feast of my life or something." Dick attempted to lighten the atmosphere - he could sense how tense Jason was and he was worried that Damian might just try to murder the lady when no one was looking.

"Grayson, I can assure you that there is nothing outstanding about Todd or Drake's appearances. They look positively average and boring." Damian replied, clearly upset at what had just happened.

"Jay, I hope that she's not expecting a visit from Red Hood tonight," Dick said, still feeling the anger that was coming off Jason in waves.

"How are you so calm? She just insulted you and suggested that you can't do anything without _supervision_! Why do people think it's okay to just walk up to people and say _"Can I Pray For You?"_ She'll be praying for mercy when Red Hood is done with her that's for sure." Jason sneered.

"It's okay Jay, she apologized." Dick attempted again.

“She said a stupid and insensitive thing. She should have thought of the consequences before she opened her big mouth.” Jason all but growled.

Quietly, Damian asked, "Are you okay, Grayson?"

"Why would I be not okay?" replied Dick

"She just insulted you!" Jason exclaimed.  
"Exactly, Jay, she insulted me, not you. Calm down." Dick coolly responded.

"Do you think we could report her for being an ableist?" Wondered Tim.

Dick turned slightly towards Tim. "I'm sure there's no such law, Timmy"

"Well, there should be." Damian decided. "One day, I'm going to be a lawyer and then all these assholes are going to jail for implying that disabled people cannot go out on their own."

"Deciding your future career path so soon already Dami?" Dick joked.

"Aren't you the one in the family who's always going around claiming Wayne Enterprises would be yours? How are you going to do that if you become a lawyer?" Poked Jason. He wanted to rile up the demon, just a little. He wouldn't be Jason Todd if he didn’t.

"I can be both Todd. I'm not useless like you and Drake. I fully intend to pursue a double degree in college as Dick has done." Damian responded as if speaking to an extremely dense child.

"You know about Dick's double degree?" Jason asked, curious to know what the demon thought of Dick's Psych degree.

"I'm not as unobservant as you are Todd. Father hangs Grayson's 2 degrees on the walls as if they are priceless decorum. Anyone who pays attention at all would have seen them." Damian replied.

"Huh, I didn’t know Bruce hung those up. I was wondering where he kept them." Dick added.

Jason sighed inwardly, glad that the little demon knew about the degrees and had not yet gone on a killing spree.

"Good job Dami! You managed to calm Jay down by distracting him with something else! I'm proud of you." Dick reached out to ruffle Damian's hair. This time, Damian let him. He also allowed himself a small smile. He didn't understand why, but it felt good that Grayson praised him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Drake smiling at him as he ate his ice cream. Damian decided that his 'brothers' were not so bad after all. He liked this. He still missed the hot desert Sun compared to gloomy Gotham, but he found that he did not mind the life here. He was allowed to be a child in front of Grayson, who had in a sense also became his mentor. His Father thought that Grayson would be a better mentor than himself. While he was not sure if he agreed with his Father's judgement, Grayson was a competent mentor and Damian was learning many things outside of what the league had taught him. He could see why Todd had deferred from his original plans to kill Batman and instead join the family again.

Dick removed his hand from Damian's head when his phone very quickly announced "New. Text. Message. From. Babs."

Dick glided his fingers over the screen and the phone announced out loud his actions. "Messaging. Icon. Opening. Messaging. New. Text. Message. From. Babs. Open. New. Text. Message. Opening. Message. Reading. Out. New. Text. Message. Hey. Dick. What. Time. Should. I. Be. Expecting. Your. Visit. Full. Stop. Have. You. Decided. Where. We Are. Going. To. Eat. Do. I. Need. To. Dress. Up. Question. Mark. Smiley. Emoji. Unknown. Emoji." (Hear it here: <https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Y8KLx1sZF1rkaivX8KPz-Mn9OPZm9dvP/view?usp=sharing>)

"Where do you guys want to eat?" Dick asked the group.

"I want pizza," Tim said. Jason nodded, verbalizing his agreement for Dick "Me too. Pizza good with you lil' demon?"

Damian scowled and said "Why do we need to have something so plebeian? Is there nothing suited for our calibre in this city?"

"Course there is Dami, but we're not exactly dressed to the nines. Do you really want to go back all the way to the Manor just to change your clothes and come out again?" Dick replied.

"Fine. Pizza then" Damian conceded.

"Tim, can you reply Babs. It's too much work for me." Dick asked as he tossed Tim his phone. Tim caught it casually and began replying. While texting, he told Dick "We really need to work on the text to speech function on this. It's terrible. There has got to be a better way to make the interface more intuitive for you. Oh, the Unknown emoji she sent was a wondering face emoji by the way. The one with the fingers on the chin and has one big eye and one small eye. I told her we'll go pick her up in 30mins. We should be able to reach her place if we leave now."

"You're the one in R&D Timmy, not me. I'm sure you'll manage to figure out something better than this. Although, if it were up to me I would just make Bruce get me those non-smart phones with keypads." Dick smiled fondly.

Jason added "Too bad nobody can ever make Bruce do anything. He's too stubborn to listen. Plus, he probably thinks people will think he's torturing you when you use those extinct dinos."

Dick replied "Real torture is using touch screen smartphones, Jay. They're not even that smart. It takes me 15 mins to send a text message!"

"New. Text. Message. From. Babs. Opening. New. Text. Message. Sure. Tim. See. You. Guys. Later. End. Of. Message" Chirped Dick's phone.

Damian was the first to speak up "I get that she's Oracle but how did she know it was Tim who sent the message and not Dick?"

"Cos Dick always takes forever to reply a message and he usually just calls the person back instead. She knew it was Tim cos I don’t type out replies to messages"

"Well, we should set off now. Don't want to risk the ire of Babs. She gets her revenge in the worst ways possible." Dick said as Tim moved to offer his elbow to Dick - they were going to his car while Jay was going to his bike with Damian.

"Oh shit. We're all idiots." Dick suddenly said as they were making their way to the carpark.

"What?" Jason asked.

"Tim drove out a coupe and you drove out a bike. Where's Babs going to seat?" Dick said

"Oh crap. We're dead meat." Tim said as realization dawned on his face. "Dude, you're gonna have to climb into the backseat man. No way she's going to allow us to let her seat in the back and no way she's going to allow you to arrive with Jason on his bike. "

"Welp, it's not like we have much choice. Just guide me in when we're at her place I guess." Dick replied.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------

 

Barbara was at home with her father when the doorbell rang. Commissioner Gordon opened the door and greeted her daughter's best friend and on again, off again boyfriend with a smile. Dick was standing at the door, his white cane grasped loosely in his right hand. Behind him stood his brothers and a kid he didn't recognize.

"Hey, Dick! Hi Tim, Jason. And who might this young lad be?"

"Hey, Jim! It's been a while." Dick replied, pulling the commissioner into a hug.

"Good afternoon Commissioner!" Jason and Tim chorused.

Seeing Commissioner Gordon's glance at Damian, Jason spoke up "That's Damian. Long story short, Bruce didn't use protection and we now have a baby brother."

Dick continued for him "Dad's still getting the legal documents sorted out so not many people have heard about him yet. You're one of the first Jim!" A happy smile on his face. His smile only grew wider when he heard Babs rolling out into the living room. "Hey, Babs!"

"Hey, Dick! Nice outfit. Very blue. Like a breezy Sunday afternoon."

"Funny you should say that. Someone told me the exact same thing this morning."

"Oh! Is that so?" Babs laughed as Dick kissed her on her forehead - but he missed and it ended up on her eyebrows. "Dick you need to work on your aiming - you're getting worse at kissing me and they're ending up on all the wrong areas of my face." Dick laughed when she said that. "Right. Babs, meet Damian, our younger brother. Dami, this is Babs! She's the Comish's daughter"

"Don't forget girlfriend dickhead" Jason added from the living room.

Tim realized that Jason had been very vague and quickly added "He meant that she's Dick's girlfriend Damian, not that she's the commissioner's girlfriend. That's just weird"

"I got that from context Drake. You didn't need to point out something so blatantly obvious. Hi. I'm Damian. Not Dami. I can’t stop Grayson from calling me that but god help you if you do."

"Sure Damian. I've heard a lot about you from Dick." Barbara offered. "Shall we leave? I've been craving pizza ever since your text message."

At that, Jim's eyes lit up "Pizza? Do you have space for this poor old man as well? My daughter had decided to leave me alone to the horrors of singlehood while she goes out to have pizza with her boyfriend and the sons of one of my very good friends."

Dick laughed "Sure Jim, of course you can come along. Your company is always welcome."

"Actually, I'm thinking that if you don’t mind, commissioner, maybe we could have pizza at your place instead?"

"What's wrong Tim?" Barbara asked, sensing something off.

Tim, fully afraid of the powers of Oracle quickly explained "Well you see we didn’t really plan today out properly and we left in the coupe that Dick and Bruce gave me. Jason came on his bike so if we were to go out, the Comish and Dick would have to squeeze into the back seat of the car which is going to be torture for Dick because I know that he didn't bring along his vertigo meds out today and you obviously have to seat in front and -" he was cut off in mid-explanation by Jim, who said

"Son, did you forget that I have a car as well? Good thing I invited myself along! Barbara could come in my car and Dick could go in yours and we can all meet up at the Pizzeria."

At that, Tim blushed, secretly wondering why he didn't think of that earlier. He had been so worried about Dick getting Vertigo - which was usually accompanied by some form of migraine- that he had forgotten all about the commissioner's car.

Babs, on the other hand, was angry "Dick! Are you an idiot! If daddy hadn't asked if he could come along, were you seriously planning on taking the migraine head on? Dick! You know how bad they can get! Why would you even think about doing something so stupid?"

"Hey, Babs. It's okay. I would willingly take on any amount of migraine if it meant that I get to spend more time with you."

"I refuse to spend time with you if you can't take care of yourself."

"Aw Babs, I'm sorry okay. Plus Jim's coming along now so I won't be getting migraines anytime soon. Don't worry about it kay." Dick whined to Barbara.

Jim gave a verbal sigh as he saw her daughter staring at him - taking that as his cue to say something as well or face the consequences later. "She's got a point son, you know how bad your migraines get. I don't plan on calling an ambulance to get you to the hospital anytime soon."

"Wait why does Grayson get migraines from sitting in the back of a car?" Damian asked suddenly.

Dick blushed and looked at where he thought Damian was "Uh Dami we'll take about that another time kay. Promise. Come on let's go I'm famished."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, Dick is a master manipulator when it comes to keeping his brothers in check. Even though he was very affected by what had happened as well, he noticed Jason was vibrating in anger beside him. Not wanting to make the situation worse and trigger Jason, who has very obvious anger management issues (OOF Damian 2.0), he chooses to make a joke and relieve the tension. The best way to make sure Jason doesn't lose it would be to look nonchalant and direct Jason's attention somewhere else so that he cannot focus on his anger on what had just happened. You will also realise that even though Dick was the one who directed Jason's attention away by asking Damian about his career aspirations, Dick used the opportunity to praise Damian as well.  
> So yeah - Dick has amazing elder brother powers and regrets nothing about spending 4 years on his Masters' learning and writing about the brain and human behaviour.


	5. People are Dicks (Part 2)

People are dicks (part 2)

 

The group drove to the pizzeria - and that was when Jim started getting angry. "Seriously! 3 reserved lots and yet none is available. These cars don't even have a handicap parking permit! I'm going to call the city council to tow these cars away." Jim said as he made a turn and parked his car at the edge of the pizzeria, where there were more empty lots so that Barbara could get off the car and transfer into her chair. Jason and Damian were already standing at the door to the pizzeria waiting for the rest to make their way over. Tim managed to park slightly closer in a normal lot since Dick didn't really need the extra space. Tim turned and saw how far the commissioner and Barbara had to park and frowned. They made their way over to Jason and Damian to wait for the duo.

 

"I can't believe they had to park so far away," Tim said

"What is it?" Dick asked, his thumbs absently running up and down the top of his white cane.

"The 3 reserved lots were all taken up by cars without the proper permit" Tim replied

"Seriously? Someone's gonna get hurt real bad. Bet Jim is fuming mad right now." From in front of him, Dick heard Jim and Babs getting closer. "Damn straight I am! The audacity of these people! I go out for lunch with my daughter and I have to park in a lot far away enough that no other cars are around."

"Dad, come on let's just go in," Barbara said from the side, pushing herself towards the doors of the restaurant "I'm hungry and not in the mood to deal with this right now."

 

Dick took Tim's elbow as they went into the restaurant and took a seat in the corner of the restaurant. Jim removed the seat beside Dick so that Babs could wheel herself into place. The waitress came over and handed out menus. "Hi, I'm Annie and I'll be your server for today."

"Yeah, I'll just read this," Dick said, frowning as he ran his fingers over the flat laminated sheet that was the menu.

"Sorry beautiful, but would you happen to have a Braille menu? Dickie-bird here is blind." Jason spoke up, not forgetting to flirt a little.

The waitress looked shocked for a moment, then proceeded to face Dick and speak loudly "I'm sorry. We do not have Braille menus. Would you like me to tell you our specials today?"

Dick visibly flinched and this time, Damian spoke "He's blind, not deaf. Are you dense or do you not know the difference between the two."

Barbara and Jason snorted while Dick sighed loudly, turning to tell the waitress "Annie right? We'll let you know when we're ready to order. Thanks." Dick had to mentally remind himself to hold back on his comment about how people always assume that Blind people have super hearing but then turn around and talk to them like they're deaf. He didn't want to make the situation any worse than it already is. 

Tim muttered not-so-softly under his breath "should have ordered in this place is a nightmare"

Damian said "Tt. Nightmare is an understatement, Drake. All we wanted was pizza and yet it would seem that Universe is out to get us today."

Babs had, at this point, started reading out the menu to Dick, adding in her own opinions here and there. Once they had decided what to get, Jim excused himself to call the city council - those 3 cars and their owners were going to face the music, no matter what. As he left, Damian noticed that the family sitting next to them kept staring and snarled. The family quickly turned around as if they had not been caught in the act.

From another corner, a boy snapped a photo of them. Upset, he told them "they took a photo of us", expecting some form of action from any of his 3 brothers. Instead, the 3 of them just smiled and Tim said "It's probably because he recognizes us. There's really nothing we can do, but if you'd like I could get him to delete the photo?"

"No, it's fine," Damian replied, visibly disturbed by all the attention.

 Suddenly, Tim spoke, "Bruce says that he and Cass are on the way back from Hong Kong."

"That's fast" Dick commented

"Yeah" Tim replied as Jim returned to his seat opposite Tim.

 

"Why do you have such a cool chair to sit in? It looks so cool," The voice of a little girl reached their ears and they all turned to see a little girl staring at Barbara's wheelchair in fascination.

"Yeah? You like my chair?" Barbara offered a gentle smile and asked. The little girl nodded excitedly.

At this point, the little girl's mom quickly ran over to apologise "Don't look, Cindy. I'm so sorry. She doesn't know. Come on Cindy, let's go."

At this point, Barbara had enough of assholes for a day and looked at the mother sternly "You know, there's nothing wrong with the kid being curious about mobility aids. What's wrong is when you teach them to shun away and pretend like there's nothing wrong. She's just going to internalize that and feel awkward the next time she sees someone with a physical disability."

"Oh, I'm so sorry that was not what I meant." She quickly walked away, dragging the little girl along with her.

Barbara sighed "Why do I even bother," offering Dick a small smile when he began rubbing his thumb against her hand to calm her down. At this point, their pizzas came and Annie, who had spoken very loudly just now still seemed very embarrassed by what she had did earlier and very quickly excused herself after setting down the pizzas.

"Ya know what lets just quickly finish our food and leave. I think we've all had our share human interaction for a day." Jason said.  The rest nodded their agreements and quickly finished their food. Once they were done, they bade each other farewell as the brothers made their way to Wayne Tech while Babs and Jim returned home.

 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At Wayne Tech -

 

Jason had followed Tim to R&D to get his documents while Damian followed Dick to his office. They agreed to meet in the lobby in 15mins. Dick told Damian to take a seat while he went to his desk, collapsing his cane and leaving it on his desk. Damian noted that Dick's table has a 3 tiered desk drawer, and each layer has neatly labelled folders that contains various documents. Lucius had informed him that he needed to sign a few documents by today on behalf of Bruce. Dick's assistant had labelled the document and placed them in the top layer - which was his Priority files section. He ran his fingers over the braille label to check that it was the correct document. After confirming that he had the correct stack, he ran his fingers along the edge of the document, stopping at the first post it, opening the document to the flagged page. Damian curiously leaned over to watch him. He saw that the post it had a square window-like hole in the middle. Dick took out a pen from his desk drawer and felt for the square box in the post it. Once he had found and traced it with his fingers, he proceeded to sign in the box, and repeated the same action for the next 10 pages or so. Satisfied, he smiled at Damian and informed him that he was done. Together they left and Dick went to place the set of files in Lucius's office, which was opposite his. Then, the two of them took the lift and went to the lobby to wait. Noticing that for the first time in the day, Dick was actually using his cane to guide himself around instead of just holding it out like he had when he was with Tim or Jason, Damian felt jealous. He needed to know if this was because Dick didn't trust him enough to make sure he didn't walk into obstacles since Dick didn't even attempt to take his elbow. When they were in the lift, he quietly asked: "Didn't you say you trusted me to look out for you, Grayson?"

Surprised, Dick turned to fully face Damian "Of course I do Dami! What's wrong?"

"You didn't take my elbow and allow me to help guide you around like you allowed Drake and Todd."

Dick was shocked! He didn't know Damian had offered and Damian made no moves to suggest that he was willing to play guide for Dick. "I didn't know you offered, Dami."

"How did you know when Drake and Todd were then"

"Well, we have a system. The usually bump their elbows slightly against my left hand to let me know their positions. Although, I don't think you're tall enough to do that yet. We'll figure something out kay. Don't worry about me. I've been here enough times to not actually need a guide. It's more of making sure there aren't any obstacles on the floor that weren't there previously so that I don't trip and fall flat on my face."

"Yeah, cause you're such a clutz Grayson."

 

Just then, the lift reached the lobby and Dick went to take a seat in one of the sofas in the lobby. Damian took a seat next to him, noticing that it was very empty and the receptionist was not around. He figured since it was a Sunday, the receptionist was probably not working. Beside him, he noticed that Grayson had begun rubbing his temples.

"Are you okay, Grayson?"

"Urgnhh, I feel a migraine starting."

"Oh. Okay. So does that mean you're okay or not? Barbara said that you get very bad migraines right?"

"Urgnh, Dami, call Jay. Tell him to get my meds from my office and get down here ASAP."

"Okay."

"Todd, Grayson requires you to retrieve his medication from his office and come down here immediately. He says that he feels a migraine starting."

 

 

"Sir, you are not allowed to be here. Please leave."

Out of the blue, a receptionist that was not there before showed up and stood in front of Dick and Damian.

Dick barely managed out "I work here"

Damian took over "My Father owns this company. And who do you think you are?"

The receptionist took a look at how casually dressed Dick was, and the fact that he had a white cane next to him and decided that no, this man and this kid did not belong in this building.

"You're not kidding anyone little boy. Sir, I am not going to repeat myself. Please leave the premises now or I will have to call security and have the two of you forcibly removed."

Dick was now hunched over on the sofa, hands pinching his nose. "I work here. I'm the VP. Google me."

 

"Sir, perhaps you can't see yourself, but I can. And it is obvious to me that you are not the VP - The VP of Wayne Tech wouldn't dress like that. Please leave our lobby now," The snotty receptionist replied, obviously not believing Dick.

Damian huffed, "I demand to speak to your manager"

  
"Yeah, not happening kid. I'm calling security" the receptionist said as she walked over to her desk and spoke into a walkie talkie.

 

Damian noticed that Dick had started shaking slightly and had his head in his hands. Silently he cursed. Where was Todd when he was needed? 2 security guards walked in and the receptionist pointed to where they were seated.

 

"Boys I'm going to need you to leave the premises." A security guard said.

 

"You are all imbeciles! My father owns this company!" Damian responded angrily to the 2 guards.

 

Suddenly, Dick started shivering violently, clutching his heads in his hand.

 

 

"Grayson? Are you alright?" Damian asked, concerned about his sudden behaviour.

 

"Boys I'm not going to repeat myself. I do not wish to remove you two forcibly, please leave. This is not some shelter"

The security guard raised his voice.

 

Dick was still shivering violently, his knuckles white from clutching his head, making a whimpering noise when the security talked. He felt his world speeding up. Damian didn't know what to do.

 

At the same moment, Lucius Fox walked in. The receptionist got up and quickly went over, greeting him "Good afternoon Mr Fox. Don't mind those two tramps, they were just leaving."

 

Sensing that something was wrong, Lucius walked over to see what was happening. It was a Sunday afternoon and he had only dropped by to collect the documents he got Dick to sign.

 

To his horror, he saw Dick was shivering (shaking?) on the couch as 2 security guards surrounded him and a kid. He quickly made his way over.

 

"Out of my way."

 

The 2 guards recognized him as the CEO and quickly moved away, wondering what he was going to do.

 

Quickly crouching down in front of Dick, he quietly asked "Dick? You okay?"

  

When all he got in response was Dick's whimper, he was quick to notice the symptoms and respond.

  
"Sensory Meltdown?"

 

"yes" If he wasn't listening so intently, he might have passed Dick's response off as a hallucination.

Recognizing what he needed to do, Lucius quickly held Dick's hand in his, taking Dick's right hand and placing it on his own heart. He then placed his own forehead against Dick's and softly whispered

 

 "It's okay I've got you. I know I'm not Bruce but maybe you can try to match your heartbeat with mine alright? Breathe, Dick. Focus on my heartbeat. That's right, just focus on my heartbeat and breathe"

 

"Mr Fox, should we call an ambulance?" The security guard asked from the side.

 

Lucius didn't reply.

 

"You've got this Dick, just focus on my heartbeat."

 

Dick was slowly pulled out of his meltdown by Lucius. Just then, Jason appeared, running out from the lift. "Dick!"

_(A/N: If you're wondering why Jason took so long, he didn't it's only been 5 mins since Damian called him, which is pretty soon because if you estimate - walk from r &d to lift + wait for lift and take the lift + exit lift to find meds + take lift down 5 mins is quite fast. He's gone into sensory meltdown for roughly 3 mins now but to the person having the meltdown, it usually feels like an eternity has passed.) _

 

"Todd. Do you have his meds?"

"Yeah yeah I've got it. Hey Uncle L, sensory meltdown?"

 

"yeah." was all Lucius offered, before he turned his attention back on Dick "Focus on my heartbeat, Dick".  Jason quickly crouched down beside Lucius, taking off his jacket and wrapping it around Dick.

"Hey Dickhead, it's me its Jay. I've got you now." Slowly, he moved dick's hand over to his own chest so that Lucius could get up. Old man was probably getting faint from squatting. Placing his own hand on Dick's heart, Jason continued "that's right dick. Focus on my heartbeat. Good job. Focus on my heartbeat. You're doing great Dickie, I can tell that your heart rate is starting to decrease. That's good. You want your meds? Yeah, you gotta keep breathing man. Focus on the heartbeat. In and Out"

Slowly, Dick could feel his focus coming back as his heart began to slow to normal paces. The meltdown had taken a lot of energy out of him and he could feel the building tension in his head that was about to lead to a full blown migraine. The lobby doors opened and Tim walked out. Seeing everyone crowd over the sofa, he quickly made his way over. "Oof Dick you're a sight. Hey Uncle L. What happened?" Tim joked.

 

"You heard him. What happened? Why were you trying to chase Dick out of the building?" Lucius questioned, eyes sweeping over the 2 security guards and the receptionist.

"Mr Fox, he claimed to be the Vice President of the company. He's clearly delusional, not to mention the fact that he's blind. His presence in the building lobby diminishes the authority of the company." The receptionist explained.

"tt. He _is_ the VP of this company. He told you to perform a google search. Yet you clearly decided that your extremely ableist judgement of him was correct and decided to call the guards in on us instead. My Father will be hearing about this." Damian responded, clearly pissed at the Receptionist.

"And what do you two have to say for yourselves?" Lucius questioned the two guards.

"We were just following protocol, Sir. Front desk told us there were two trespassers in the building and we had to remove them from premises." The two guards responded.

"tt. Mindless idiots. How is it that Father employs all these people and yet they do not know who Grayson is?" Damian said harshly.

 

"I would like to have a talk with the three of you. Such behaviour will not be tolerated in this company. You saw a man shaking and having a breakdown and your first thought was to chase him out of the building instead of calling an ambulance?" Lucius reprimanded.

 

"jay meds" Dick struggled out.

"Hey Dick no not yet, give it 20 more mins kay. Your heart rate was too high just now. We don't want to risk cardiac arrest now do we?"

"hrnghhh. Hurts." was all Dick offered in response to Jason.

 

Lucius continued "Also, he IS the Vice President of this company. I would suggest the three of you apologise to Dick or have your resignation letters ready. Bruce wouldn't be happy to hear about this."

 

 

"Mr Fox, how could we have known? The top floor hardly comes in on Sundays and we only work the weekend shift. I've never seen him before! Plus, if he had known he was coming over to the tower, he should have dressed appropriately!" The receptionist whined.

 

"Miss Deborah, I would highly suggest that you keep your opinions to yourself from this point on. He's only here today because I had asked him to come down and sign some documents. Instead of spending his time off on a Sunday resting he's here so I don’t think we should be expecting too much of a last minute request now do we. I want to have a talk with the three of you on Monday morning in my office. 9 am."

 

Seeing Dick looking as pale as a sheet while he leaned against Todd's chest and Drake helping Dick massage his temples, Damian concluded: People are dicks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes -Tim has a position in the R&D department even though he's only 16 but he's a kid genius so no one plans to stop him from changing the world one invention/research at a time. Jason's doesn't plan on joining WE so he doesn't actually work there (he has a pass though - he is, after all Bruce's son and he may want to visit his dad at work). Cass just likes to sneak up on security guards and test the security systems - leaving the guards on edge,
> 
> Lucius Fox is the CEO (aka he makes all the important decision for the company - like, we need to purchase a power plant, or should we fund this project?), Whereas Bruce is the President (aka his role is mostly just a figurehead + his only concern is Big Decisions that involves the stakeholders like how will "hypothetically purchasing a power plant in North America" affect the company etc, dictating general policies and setting the direction for the company instead of approving projects and all that) and Dick is VP (here's where it gets confusing. Lucius is obviously old and intends to retire soon. He only remained in the position of CEO for so long because Bruce was not very interested in his job and wanted to uphold his image as a playboy. He was very happy when Dick came back with a degree in Business Management and wants to make Dick the CEO. But Dick doesn't want to be the CEO. Dick is only doing this because Lucius has been hounding him for years and Lucius claims to have not found a suitable successor to his position and wants Dick to do it. So, even though he is VP and should be doing stuff similar to Bruce, his workload is significantly higher than Bruce's. On top of handling or suggesting policies and directions to Bruce like an advisor, he also has to do some CEO stuff like read through and approve projects, handle the company's financials yadda yadda, kind of like a CEO in training. He had actually intended for Tim to take over, but seeing as Tim's interest was not in business management either, he kinda gave up and resigned himself to a life in the glass tower. Although, that might change now that Damian's here.)


	6. Migraines - Not a Game (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for this chapter: Mentions of depression and text simulates a detailed panic attack.  
> Leave a message if you would like to have a summary/know what this chapter was about without having to read through the simulation.

Back at Wayne Manor

 

Dick was unceremoniously thrown onto the couch by Jason.

 

Sound of movements from in front of him. Soft but quick steps.  Shoes hitting the carpet. Perfume. Leslie. More movement. Light and shuffly - Tim. Tim was with Leslie. Oh, he is so dead. Sound of shoes hitting the carpet from over the top of his head. Deep. Strong. Jason. Body heat beside him. Shuffling. Someone had placed their fingers around his temples and started massaging. Probably Jason. Wait. Where is Damian?

 

 _"What happened"_ A female voice came from above him. What? Oh. Leslie. Wait. When did Leslie reach him? Shit. The meds and the meltdown were throwing him off his game.

 

 _"He had a sensory meltdown in the office. Probably triggered by his Migraine. Before it happened he managed to get Damian to call Jason to get him his meds."_ Tim.

 

 _"Is he going to be okay?"_ A soft voice -slightly trembling, spoke up. Wait. Damian? How long has he been there?

 

 _"What triggered the Migraine?"_ Good question. Let's run down known triggers. Loud music -no.  Flashing lights - maybe. Vertigo -no. Strong emotions -no. Maybe? It had been a long day dealing with ableist asshats. Shuffling. Fingers at his forehead changed the direction of massage.

 

 _"No idea."_ Tim.

 

 _"When was the last time he slept, Tim?"_ Last time I slept? 3 days ago? I think? More shuffling.

 

 _"If the data from his watch is accurate, he hasn't been sleeping properly for at least 5 nights."_ 5 nights? Shit. SHIT.

 _"2 hours on Tuesday. 1.5 intermittently on Wednesday. 3 hours on Thursday. 2 on Friday. 0 hours last night."_ Oh yeah. He couldn't sleep last night. Everything was too loud. He had sat in his room and went through reports from Young Justice instead.

 

A sigh. _"Well, at least now we know why. Let him sleep. I'm prescribing him stronger sleeping pills for now."_

 

 _"Stronger? He's already on Zolpidem extended-release."_ OH yeah. Those.

 

 _"I'm giving him Temazepam. It's more addictive than Zolpidem and shouldn't be taken for more than 10 days straight. It'll ensure that he sleeps properly though."_ What? I don't have time! If I sleep who's going to do all the work? I need to do better! Swift and sure steps. Alfred. Shit.

 

 _"Alfred. I'm getting Tim to follow me back to collect the meds. I'm putting Dick on Temazepam. One every night before he goes to bed. Make sure he eats it in front of you. We don’t want a repeat of him flushing his pills into the toilet. And no extra-circular activities for at least 6 nights."_   Shit. 6 nights? Who's going to train Damian? Who's going to check and make sure that the lines and grapples are working? Shuffling. The fingers on his head have changed direction again. What if they need his help but he's sleeping? Not after Jason. No. **I** **need to be awake to make sure they're all back safely**. I can't fail again. Fuck. Too many what ifs. No. _**I**_ ** _need to be awake to make sure that no one dies_**. Thumping. THUMPING. What the hell? **THUMPING**. Fuck. My heart. I can't breathe. Fuck. I'm going to die. Fuck. 

 _"Dick! Dick!"_ Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck **. IMGOINGTODIE**.PLEASESTOP.ICAN'TDIE.IPROMISED. **INEEDTOMAKESURETHEYGETBACKSAFE. CAN'TBREATHE.** _"DAMNIT DICK! BREATHE!"_ Something cold and foreign. **THUMPING**. What? THUMP. A needle. Someone injected something. THUMP.  Thump.

 

 

 

 

Nothing.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Quick rundown of the medications mentioned in this chapter and why Dick's on them.
> 
> 1\. Zolpidem extended-release is used for long term treatment of insomnia and diminishes sleep latency and the number of awakenings. In the following chapters, this will be explained more clearly but due to the way Dick's insomnia is characterised in my AU, he's on this sleeping pill specifically because he has trouble staying asleep - that is to say, he has no problems with falling asleep. The problem is that he cannot stay asleep and will wake up very soon every time after he falls asleep, leading to poor sleep quality.  
> 2\. Temazepam is more commonly known as Restoril and is used to ensure that a person stays asleep for at least 7 to 8 hours (VS Zolpidem Extended Release, which helps the person reduce no. of times he awakens - meaning if his insomnia is bad enough, he will still wake up despite taking the pills). Temazepam is highly addictive and cannot be taken for more than 2 weeks at a time.


	7. Migraines are not Games (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for this chapter: Mentions of depression and text simulates a panic attack.

Where am I? Rustling of bedsheets. There's something in my arm. Tubes? Probably an IV. Wait. Why am I on an IV? Think Dick. Think. Sensory Meltdown. Migraine. Leslie came. Something about sleeping pills. Shit. I had a panic attack. _Why can't I do anything right?_ Shuffling. There's someone stroking my forehead. Who? This person feels so familiar. I can feel the callouses on his fingers. Bruce. _Bruce is here._ Why is Bruce here? Isn't he in Hong Kong? No. He was on his way back from Hong Kong when we were having lunch. Damn it Dick get your shit together. There's something _very wrong_ about all this. How long have I been out? Hong Kong is at least 17 hours away from Gotham. He called at around 12 pm. We were in Wayne Tech at around 2 pm. 45 Minutes to get home. 2.45pm. Leslie came. Let's play this out, Dick. She was here for at most 20 minutes before you had your panic attack. 3.05pm then. Its been at least 14 hours. 5 am?  I've been out for 14 hours? Shit. The stroking stopped. No, don't stop.

"Ugnhhh"

"Chum? Are you awake?"

"Umpfff" Blink. Emptiness. Deep breath in. Blink. Emptiness. Deep breath out.

"Hey. How are you feeling?" Voice on my left. Bruce is on my left. Stroking started again.

"hgrkb" Turning to his direction, I asked weakly. "whaa time izet"

"Its 7 am." _7 am?_ Shit. 16 Hours of _sleep?_ Need to get up. Gotta go to work. _Don't let them know how weak you are_. Move Dick MOVE.

"Hey don't worry about it. Just sleep. I'll cover for you at WE. Leslie gave you medical leave."

 _Sleep?_ No! I've been asleep for _16 Hours_. I don't need more sleep! _I need to go out there and do things or you're all going to be worried about me again_! Move it Dick. MOVE.

"Jason, Cass and Tim promised to stay in today with you. Damian hasn't said anything but I bet he's going to come rushing to you once he's done with school. I believe Jason let it slip to a certain Oracle last night that you had a long day yesterday. She said she's coming over at noon. " Huh? Doesn't Tim have classes at Gotham U today? It's Monday, right? _He's missing classes because of me._ Dick you need to move damnit.

"Timmy school"

"He called the school and took a day off."

"unghh" Stroking stopped. Movements. Sound of a metal knob twisting. What?

 

Nothing.

 

 

Rustling of bedsheets. Sound of someone typing furiously away on a laptop. People engaged in conversation. Laughing. Deep Breath In. Blink. Emptiness. Deep Breath Out.

 

"Morning Sunshine. Or, ya know, good afternoon Sunshine." Voice coming from the left. Jason? Jason.

"Whaaa-"

Typing sounds stop. Something creaks.

"How are you feeling short pants?" Babs.

"Heyyyy Babs"

Movement. Someone left the room. Or entered. He couldn't tell. Damn. _Why am I so useless?_ What did they drug me with? Someone was gently caressing his left hand. Who? Oh right. Babs.

"What time is it?" He tried again, pleased to find that this time round his mouth actually managed to form actual words.

"3 pm. The Demon's about to reach home." Jason said. Feeling stiff, Dick tried to move his arm up to his forehead. Someone placed a hand on him almost immediately, preventing him from moving.

"Not move." Cass?

"Cass?" Dick asked.

A hand on his heart. Yup. Definitely Cass.

"Were you guys having a party around me while I was unconscious?" Dick joked. _You just had to worry them didn't you?_ Sound of door opening.

"Hey Dick! How are you feeling now?" Tim. Tim was the one that came in through the door. Right.

"Been better." Wait. Why was Tim here? Doesn't he have school? "Why aren't you in school Tim?"

"Took a day off. Do you know where you are Dick?"

Huh? Tim took a day off? _This is your fault._  No. Focus on the question. Where I am? Good Question. Where am I? Think, Dick. Think!

"Uhhh. I don’t-"

"That's okay. You were quite out of it. You're in your room Dick. Don't move your right arm. There's an IV attached." pause. "Do you know why you're in your room?"

This. This he knows. _He very clearly remembers how terrible he is as a person._

"I had a sensory meltdown yesterday at WE. Then I took some meds for my migraine but I fell asleep? I think? I remember Leslie coming. She said something about changing my insomnia meds?" oh shit. "I had a panic attack didn't I."

"Yeah. I don't think I've ever seen the demon child go so pale before. You really scared him," Jason said.

_Good job Dick. Damian is probably scared of you now._

"You stopped breathing. Your heart rate shot up to 220BPM. Leslie had to inject a sedative into you." Tim continued. "The IV is loaded with sedatives that will knock you out if it happens again."

"Shit Dick. What happened. Even I thought you were going into cardiac arrest." Jason added quietly from the side.

"Sorry for scaring you guys. I'm all better now." Dick said.

"Anyways, Dick. We reviewed your sleeping patterns for the past month. Your insomnia has been getting worse. It's what triggered your migraine. Leslie wants you off Fluoxetine for this week and the next.  She also prescribed you Temazepam. It'll help you get the amount of sleep you need. Alfred will be giving you those instead of Zolpidem for the next few days." Tim said.

"Hold on. It's 3 pm. I've been asleep for 24 hours?"

"I know you're the boy wonder Dick, but even the Boy Wonder needs to sleep you know," Babs said.

"Right. There's more Dick. Leslie gave you 3 days of medical leave. Also Bats wants you to take a break from YJ. Me'gann and Conner will be taking over until this week is over. You are only allowed to call Conner and tell him what to do. No physically going over. And Nightwing is on medical leave for 5 nights." Tim continued.

"No," Dick said.

"Dick you're in no shape to fight or work. You need to rest." Babs said, still stroking his hands - Dick was a very kinesthetic person. Contact grounded him. They all knew that.

"No. Is no one going to ask me how I feel about all these changes that everyone collectively decided while I was unconscious?" Dick shot. The stroking motion paused, then continued.

"Dick, we're worried. Your health is more important to us than some team or a company. There are other people around who can handle it. You need to take care of yourself. If Leslie wasn't here to give you that sedative last night, you might have really gone into cardiac arrest. What will we do without you then? Will you really put us through that?" Babs said.

"Yeah. Conner and Me'gann can handle it. Bruce can handle WE without you for a few days as well. He has Uncle L. You, on the other hand, should just stay in your bed like sleeping beauty and get better" Tim added.

"I can agree to everything. But I don't want Temazepam. Let me stick to Zolpidem." Dick said.

"Damn it, Dick! You need to rest. Which part of that do you not understand?" Jason raised his voice.

"I can't," Dick replied.

"yeah? And why is that so _Goldie_? Its barely been 24 hours and you're so eager to get back to pleasing everyone already?" Jason asked. Sneering at the word "Goldie".

" _Jason_!" Babs and Tim shouted at the same time.

"I JUST CAN'T!" Dick said, feeling his heart rate increasing.

"Yeah no. You don't get to just say shit like that and expect everyone else to be okay with you torturing yourself like that." Jason said.

"It's not. I can't. I can't do it. I _need_ to know that all of you will get back safe okay? I can't Jason. _I can't do it_. I don't know what I will do if I agreed and then something happens and I'm _ASLEEP_ while my family was out there risking their lives and _needs me_ and _I'm asleep_ and I'm not there and I'm too late. _Always too late_. I can't."

Door opens. Someone runs in and hugs him. He can't concentrate. _Everything is too loud and the_ ** _Thumping_** _is not stopping and God please make it stop._

_"I-can’t-do-it-I-can’t-I-can’t-I-can’t-I-can’t-I-can’t-I-can’t-I-can’t-I-can’t-I-can’t-I-can’t-I-can’t-I-can’t"_

Breathe. _IN and OUT_. In and Out. Someone is hugging him. There's a hand going up and down his back. Voices. Breathe. In and Out. In and Out.

"Dick focus on my voice okay. In and Out. That's right. In and Out. Good job." Babs.

Focus. Breathe. In and Out. In and Out. Slowly, he felt his world coming back into focus. Wow. 2 panic attacks in a day. Great job Dickie. See if anyone is going to trust you to do anything again ever.

"Grayson? Are you alright?" Damian. Damian was the one hugging him. He could feel Damian's head on his chest as Damian mumbled out his question. So small. Must protect.

"Ye-yeah. I'm okay. I'm sorry." Dick replied

"Why are you apologizing, Grayson? You did nothing wrong. You can't control panic attacks." Damian stated, as a matter of factly, still hugging Dick, as if letting go would make all of it not real.

"God Dick. I'm so sorry. I didn't - I didn't know it had affected you so much." Jason apologized. Damian finally let go and sat next to Dick on his bed. So cute. Focusing back on Jason -

"Jesus, Jason. You were my first kid brother. How could your dying not affect me? Sometimes I wonder, if I was more alert, if I had just paid more attention, if I was smarter, if I wasn't blind and could just _see_ instead of having to read stupid Braille print outs line by line and have to listen to the stupid computer give me audio descriptions of stupid CCTV recordings and try to figure out where you went maybe I could have gotten there faster and got you out of there before the demented clown got to you. I should have been there Jay, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t there and I was too late and god Jason - I"

"Hey hey, none of that Dick. Stop. Don't go there" Jason said. There were tears streaming down Dick's face as he continued.

"No Jason, you don't understand. I let it happen once. I told myself that I can't let it happen again. I won't. Not to you, or Tim, or Cass or Babs or Bruce or Alfred or Damian. I can't. But then you died and Bruce shut down and it was so quiet and tense and I couldn't take it and I applied to Harvard and I left and Nightwing quit and the Joker got to Babs and I was too late. Always too late. Can't protect anyone. Always too late."

"Dick." Came Bab's gentle voice. "Not your fault. Anyone but you. Stop."

"No. If I had just persisted. If I had just stayed in Gotham instead of escaping halfway across the country to go to some stupid University I would have known that the Joker escaped and I would have been there to stop him and Batgirl wouldn't have to retire and you wouldn't be in a wheelchair and I'm so sorry Babs I'm so sorry I should have stayed behind"

"No." Cass. Movement. Hand on his heart. "No." She repeated again.

"She's right Dick. Stop blaming yourself. It's over. It happened. Oracle came out of the incident. Jason's alive. You're alive. Live in the now. Stop torturing yourself with the past." Babs said.

"No. I'm not taking the Temazepam. I'll sleep when you guys are all back safe or no patrol for all of you for 5 nights. I can't deal with it okay. I need to know you are all safe."

"ok" Cass said - patrolling never mattered to her. It wasn't important to her. She only did it because Bruce wanted her to and so she did. She didn't care about Gotham. She does it to protect her family. And one member of her family is hurting and if not going out helps stop the pain then she'll stay.

"Fine! I won't go out. Gotham can rot for a few days without Red Hood. It's been quiet recently anyways."

"tt. I don’t get to go on patrol anyways Grayson." Damian said.

 

Dick huffed a laugh at that.

 

"You promise you'll take the Temazepam if we don't go on patrol?" Tim asked. "What about Batman?"

Jason snorted "Batman can handle himself for a few nights."

 

A new voice suddenly said, "Actually, I think Batman is taking a few nights off." Bruce. Bruce was back from WE.

 

"Hey Bruce! You're back early." Dick said.

" I'm the President. I get to do what I want when I want." Came the reply.

 

Tim said "Wait. Did you just say that Batman is taking a few days off? Since when did Batman take breaks?"

 

Dick smiled at that "That Timmy, was a long time ago. Before Jason, before Jason died. Bruce would take nights off to spend time with us and sometimes we'll visit the alps for 4 to 5 days."

 

"There was also the time when all 3 of us got the flu and Leslie banned us from going out for 4 nights because the medicine made us so drowsy that we could barely walk in straight lines, not to mention jump over roofs" Jason added, softly smiling at the memory.

 

"So Dick, you'll take the Temazepam?" Babs asked. "And you don't get to ground me. I don't even go out. I can keep in touch with the rest of you through the channel if you're really that worried."

 

"Sure, I'll take the Temazepam," Dick said.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluoxetine - most commonly known as Prozac, is used as a type of medication for depression, anxiety, OCD and some other moods disorders. This medication may improve your mood and help restore your interest in daily living, and decreases fear, anxiety, unwanted thoughts, and reduces panic attacks. However, an unwanted side effect from this is trouble staying asleep - which is what Dick has. That's why Leslie wanted him off his anti-depressants for a while and prescribed him an alternative, stronger pill that will keep him asleep and get the rest he needs.
> 
> Also - (This happened) Dick has a habit of compulsively checking and rechecking everyone's grapple guns and lines. This is in part because he feels guilt for Jason's death (the 3rd person he cares about in his short span of 15 years alive to die on him) and needs to feel in control of the situation every time they go out so that he can reassure himself that at least, they will not be falling to their deaths as his parents did. 
> 
> Finally - Jason has very serious self-esteem issues and when he feels any kind of negative emotions, he will revert to calling Dick Goldie (it's his tell - and Dick knows), because he feels that he can never compare to Dick.


	8. What's in a Migraine?

With his family and Barbara in his room all safe and sound, Dick found himself relaxing slightly.

 

Damian spoke up first "Grayson, can you tell me about your Migraines now?"

"Sure Dami, what do you want to know?"

"What triggers them? And do they always come with a sensory meltdown?"

"Hmm. Triggers. There's quite a few. Flashing lights, consistent loud noises, not getting enough sleep, strong emotions. At least, those are the ones we know of."

"Don't forget hitting your head short pants" Babs added.

"Oh yeah. That too. They don't always come with a sensory meltdown though. That only happens occasionally."

"Sometimes if it's really bad he can get seizures" Jason said from where he was seated.

"Seizures? Tt. Grayson you really shouldn't be allowed to go out at all."

"Aww baby demon cares about you!" Jason teased.

"Tt. I merely do not wish to lose my mentor to something as common as tensions in the brain."

"Well, the seizures don't really happen often. In fact, I can count on one hand the number of times it has happened. It takes a lot to make me that out of whack."

"If my understanding of blindness is correct, and I know I am, you don't actually perceive anything. How can flashing lights be a cause for migraines for you?"

"Do you know what cortical blindness is Dami?" Dick asked.

"I would assume it has something to do with the brain since you mention used the word "cortical" to describe it."

 

Tim took over the explanation "You're correct. Cortical Blindness means that there's actually nothing wrong with his eyes. The problem is with his brain. His eyes still respond to changes in light intensity perfectly. The problem comes when his eyes are perceiving sudden drastic differences in light, like flashing lights. It's kind of like being outside and its extremely bright and then when you move into a cave suddenly its dark and your brain is still seeing after images. For him, his eyes perceives light and sends the information to his brain. But his visual cortex can't comprehend the information its receiving from the eyes. There's a breakdown of information transfer and his brain goes out of whack.  The eyes strain to send information to the visual cortex. The visual cortex struggles to comprehend what is happening and because it doesn't actually process anything at all, all Dick sees is nothing even though his eyes are perfectly fine. Because this puts a strain on both his visual cortex and eyes, it causes him migraines. It's why Babs was so upset when he said he was going to seat in the back of the car.  Light intensities in the back seat generally tend to fluctuate due to the way a car is built. Although, if he wears _black_ shades and close his eyes for the whole ride, he will be fine."

 

"Usually those who suffer from cortical blindness have a limited field of vision and can still see some things. This is because for many of them Cortical Blindness is something acquired due to trauma to the head. But in Dick's case, his occipital lobes were starved of oxygen due to blockages in his posterior cerebral arteries when he was born. There's nothing that can be done. It's also why a lot of people don't take him seriously when he tells them what type of Blindness he has. Many people assume that those who are cortically blind can still see something and are only "legally blind" but not totally." Bruce added.

"Remember that article G. Gordon wrote about him? God I never wanted to kill someone so bad before. I think even dad was on the edge of going to his studio and arresting him for defamation." Barbara said.

"What did he write?" Damian asked, curious.

"Nothing nice?" Dick offered.

"tt. I'm asking about the content, Grayson."

"Hah! Of course he knows what you're asking Damian. He just doesn't want to tell you because the article was absolutely atrocious. It was when Bruce officially adopted Dick and named him heir to WE. He accused Dick of using his handicap to play Billionaire Bruce Wayne into adopting him and handing over his fortunes. And he claimed that since all Dick has is cortical blindness, he can still, to some extent, see. He then made some very disgusting remarks about how Dick had fooled everyone into thinking he was an inspiration for all. He then claimed that other articles were putting him on a pedestal, and he had this video of Dick in contact Taekwondo taking his opponents down. Oh yeah did you know? Goldie here has a black belt in Taekwondo. Yeah. He actually convinced Bruce to let him openly take taekwondo classes so that he could protect himself when in civilian ID and Bruce agreed. It's also why Nightwing never uses Taekwondo. Back to the story. He cited Dick's ability to take down his opponents as evidence that Dick could actually see shit. He also said that Dick only got into Harvard because he was the disabled son of Bruce Wayne and it was good marketing for Harvard.  He then said that Dick should learn to read instead of using his blindness as an excuse to grope around and get his hands all over everyone. He ended by saying that Dick was a piece of human scum and had made use of people's sympathy to get where he was. What. Don't look so surprised. Talia showed me. She wanted to make me hate you guys as much as possible. Remember?"

"Damian. No Killing. Promise me. Don't go and seek him out or do anything stupid. You don't want to be dragged into his mess. He enjoys torturing the Waynes. Nobody believes what he says anyways." Dick said, grabbing Damian's arm tightly.

"tt. Fine." Pause. "What should I do when you get migraines or one of your sensory meltdowns and panic attacks?"

"Well, when I get a sensory meltdown it's usually because there's too much information my brain is trying to process and my brain can't keep up but everything is fighting for attention so if that happens just help me focus on something. Make the decision for me. Jason likes to wrap his jacket around me and make me focus on the sensation of the leather against my skin. Bruce usually puts his forehead against mine and places my hand on his heart to make me focus on the feeling of breathing. Cass does that too. Babs likes to stroke my hand. Tim likes to squeeze my hands in matching pace with my heartbeat. You can choose to do any of those or make up something you're comfortable with. I don’t really have a preference." Dick said.

 

"It's different when it’s a panic attack though. During a panic attack you need to ask him what he needs. Speak to him in short simple sentences and help him pace his breathing. You need to encourage and reassure him that he's doing great. Tell him something along the lines of "What you are feeling is scary, but it is not dangerous." and to concentrate in the present. Usually it doesn’t get as bad as last night does. And it shouldn't. That was just his circadian rhythm acting out of whack to protest against the lack of self care dickhead has." Jason said.

 

"He usually takes Eletriptan for his Migraines. However, if he's just had a panic attack or sensory meltdown, he cannot take them. Because when any one of those two happens, his heart rate will increase significantly. Its also why he's not allowed any other triptan drugs. Triptan drugs are notorious for having heart palpitation as a side effect. He's only allowed Eletriptan. This is important Damian. The rest of the over the counter medicines for migraines will only make his symptoms worse and some of it can trigger a panic attack. You recall yesterday when Dick requested for his meds and Jason told him no. Dick will try to pull that shit with you. You need to say no to him, no matter how much pain he is in." said Tim.

Bruce quickly added "If at any point in time you find that the situation is out of control, call an ambulance."

 

"Grayson, are you depressed?" Damian asked suddenly. Seeing everyone staring at him expectantly ,he took it as a cue for him to continue "Yesterday, as Doctor Thompkins was discussing your medications with Drake and Pennyworth, I overheard her mentioning Fluoxetine. My research tells me that Fluoxetine is a class of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor drug that is used to treat depression and panic attacks. I also noticed neat lines of cuts on your wrists. After research, I have come to the conclusion that they are very likely self inflicted, which are signs of depression."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A better explanation for why flashing lights can give him migraines is this  
> Imagine sending your friend a message, but the message doesn't go through because your wifi connection was disrupted. So you send it a few more times, hoping that one of it will go through. And then the wifi comes back and suddenly you've sent your friend 20 messages in a row.   
> That's kinda what's happening in Dick's brain.  
> His eyes see the changes in light intensity and tell the brain. But the brain doesn't respond. The eyes start spamming the brain with information and the brain, which doesn't understand what it's supposed to do with this information goes out of whack and throbs and TADA migraines. 
> 
> Also, if you're wondering about why it was mentioned that "Jason likes to wrap his jacket around me and make me focus on the sensation of the leather against my skin. " BUT in the previous chapter he had actually put Dick's hand on his heart, it's because Lucius had started off with asking him to focus on his heartbeat, so if Jason told him to focus on the sensation of the jacket suddenly, he would just get thrown out of whack again. 
> 
> Also, more medical explanations  
> There's a very specific reason why Dick can only take Eletriptan.  
> Eletriptan is one of the few triptan drugs that doesn't have heart palpitations as a side effect. Because of his anxiety, taking a drug that has heart palpitations as a side effect will only result in his body believing that he is experiencing distress and send him into a panic attack.   
> On top of that, he's not allowed to have Eletriptan immediately after he has a sensory meltdown or panic attack because his heart rate would have been elevated during the episodes. Since Eletriptan can cause tightness in the chest, not only will he be pulled back into another panic attack, his heart rate will rise even more, putting him at risk of cardiac arrest.


	9. Beneath the smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning for this Chapter: Mentions of self-harm and suicide

Damian was, for a lack of better word, upset. After he had asked the question and explained his theory, everyone had gone very quiet. Before Grayson answered him, his Father spoke "I believe this is a conversation that we can have some other time. You need to rest, Dick. Come on, let's go."

 

Not giving Grayson a chance to argue, he proceeded to chase everyone out of Grayson's room, turning the knob for the sedatives to flow into Grayson's body through the IV, effectively knocking him out.

 

Tim and Jason had left right after, probably going to their own rooms. Father had left too. Damian was still standing outside the room, looking at the door. He couldn't understand. What did he do wrong? A few moments ago they were all encouraging him to ask questions and giving him specific answers, but suddenly, his Father had shut him down and chased everyone out.

 

"It's not your fault, Damian" Barbara spoke up from where she was at.

"Is Grayson depressed, Barbara?" Damian turned to face her.

"He -yes. But it is not my place to talk about it. If he wants to tell you, he will. Eventually. Don't force him though. It's not easy to talk about." Came Barbara's reply.

"That does not explain Father's behaviour," Damian questioned.

"You're right, it doesn't. Bruce's behaviour is questionable but know this, Damian. Bruce cares about Dick more than he lets on. He blames himself for what happened." Was Barbara's reply.

  
"What happened? Babs, you're the only person who knows what happened in-between the time I died and Tim came that landed him in this state." Came Jason's voice. He was looking at the two of them, Tim by his side, eyes red. "Let's talk in my room."

 

Barbara and Damian made their way over. Tim went in and slouched on Jason's bed.

Barbara spoke up first "Look, I don't think it's my place to talk about what he went through."

"You're right. It's not. But we need to know what happened in-between. Since when had this become such a touchy-feely topic that anyone who breathes a word about Dick's depression gets sent out of his presence?" Jason said.

 

Jason took a look at Damian and started first. "I knew he was already depressed and seeing a therapist when Bruce adopted me. He told me. I was 11 and he was 13 back then. It was the first time Bruce held a gala in the manor's ballroom and he asked me if I wanted to attend it. I was nervous and I didn't want to. He told me not to worry about it. But it had still scared me, and Bruce had only just adopted me and I didn't want to make him feel like I was rebellious or something and then he would return me to the orphanage. So I told him that as a compromise, I will go down for a little to say Hi before coming back up. He agreed and told me not to worry about it, since Dick wasn't attending as well, and nothing would happen. At that point in time, all I saw was that Dick was the perfect child - he was smart, athletic and always so damned positive. Apart from his blindness, he was the perfect son that any parent would have wanted. " Jason paused. "Then, night came and people started filling up the manor. That was when I realized how out of place I was and I couldn't bring myself to step out of my room. I started sobbing in my room. Dick must have heard me sobbing because he walked in and gave me a hug. And then he started comforting me. We bonded that night. He told me that I didn't have to be afraid and it was such a surreal experience because here I was, in a room that was too big for me, with Batman as my adoptive father and the Boy Wonder was hugging me and telling me not to cry. And I did the opposite. I cried even more. I sobbed for a good 30mins telling him all my worries and my fears and he just sat there, comforting me. I asked him how he wasn't afraid - then I remembered. This was Robin. He could face the joker and laugh about taking him down while a normal criminal would have already craped in their pants. And I told him that. He smiled at me softly and told me about himself. He told me that he hated attending those events because they set him on edge. Too many noises, too much people. He told me about his depression, his family. He didn't have panic attacks back then. Before I died, I knew he wasn't cutting. He was always wearing short sleeved shirts. Then I came back, and it was like he was a different person. He still had that cheery demeanour and was painfully positive about everything and I hated him so much. But one night - back when I was still trying to get my revenge on Bruce, on Dick and on Tim - when I pointed my gun at him, he told me to just shoot him. He begged me to stop the pain for him. This was not the Dick I knew. Sure he was depressed and had his moments but this was not him. The Dick I knew would not have looked at a villain in the face and tell them to off him. I ran away. And then I find out that while I was gone he had spiraled and depression wasn't the only thing he had anymore. What happened in between Babs? I tried to ask him and Bruce but both of them never gave me an answer."

 

Tim took a deep breath and told his side of the story "When Jason was killed, I noticed Batman becoming more violent - to the point that he would put petty criminals in body casts. When I figured out Dick's identity, I came to Wayne manor and told him that Batman needed a Robin and begged him to help Batman before he started killing people. He told me that Robin was dead. Robin died the night Jason Todd was blown up by the Joker. He told me that there was nothing he could do and requested that I leave. I was your almost age then Damian. I was 9 when I decided that if Nightwing was not going to don the Robin mantle then I should. I stepped up and I stopped Batman from bashing in the head of a rapist that very night. Batman didn't want a replacement Robin, and he told me that to my face. Of course, I won the argument. Dick never gave me the blessings to be Robin. He was of the opinion that Robin was cursed and that no other kid should ever be Robin. Of course, I was heart broken. I idolized Dick and Jason but Jason was dead and Dick didn't want me to be Robin. One night, when the Joker broke out of Arkham prison, he left with a sword instead of his usual escrima sticks on his back and he tortured the joker.  I think that was when we realized that he was on a path to self destruct. He sliced a few major arteries of the joker to let him bleed out slowly. I had never seen something done so precisely before. It was done with the complete intention for a painful and slow death. He was determined to let the Joker choke to death on his own blood. He told the joker that he deserved what was coming. The joker and his goons took out guns and shot him 3 times in 3 different places. He didn't care. He continued. He severed the throats of a few of the joker's goons. They were still alive though. No one died that night. Just chocking in a pool of their own blood. Then, he took the gun from the joker's hands and shot himself. In the heart. He did what every Villain in Gotham wanted to but failed to do. He killed Nightwing. Bats and I got there just before he had tried to off himself. When the gun went off, Bats stumbled. I ran over and put my fingers over his chest as the blood flowed out. We didn't tell anyone, and the Joker was more than happy to take the blame for nearly killing Nightwing. We got lucky. Joker's gun had a error where the gun doesn't shoot straight and at point blank, the bullet had embedded itself near the heart, but didn’t hit it. It took him 2 months to recover from all the injuries. Gotham and Bruce proved too much for him to handle, and he applied to Harvard. Of course, he was accepted and he left without telling Bruce or me, only leaving a note behind.  Then again, he was never really close to me. He was angry at me and at Bruce for allowing a 3rd Robin. He always made sure that I was safe and uninjured and that was it. No further attempts to make small talk or anything. When my parents died and Bruce adopted me and I had become Robin and started living in the manor, I noticed he would get panic attacks. I told Bruce, but he told me that Dick was receiving the necessary treatments. He tried to kill himself once, and Alfred found him bleeding out in his tub."

 

Barbara took a look at Damian, whose face was a mix of worry and concern. Sighing, she filled them in. "I was still Batgirl back then. After Jason had died, Dick spiraled. He blamed himself for not being there quick enough. It didn't help that Bruce blamed him too." at that, Jason exclaimed "What?!"

Barbara gave him a look then continued "Yeah, Dick was supposed to make sure you stayed in the manor but you had snuck out on his watch and he didn't realize until it was too late because he was doing his homework and even though he had tried his best to find you, Batman was still 3 seconds too late and the warehouse had blown up. Bruce blamed him for not noticing that you had snuck out on your own. He became very withdrawn in school, stopped taking his antidepressants and started cutting. He knew that Bruce was monitoring his anti-depressants intake so he would just flush one pill into the toilet every day. His nightmares got worse because now, it was no longer just his parents' death that he carried. He carried your life on himself too Jason. He stopped sleeping properly, his didn’t care about himself, he didn't eat, didn't speak and turned himself into a living zombie. He stopped attending Titan meetings and avoided everyone. Then, suddenly, Batman had a new Robin by his side. He started getting panic attacks and his cutting got worse. Before the Joker incident that Tim mentioned, he had tried to kill himself by overdosing on the medicine in the Batcave. He was smart. He knew how much he needed to take if he wanted to die instead of becoming comatose. He even accounted for his increased drug tolerance due to the migraine meds he was taking. It was planned and executed to perfection. He didn't die though - his body rejected the medicine and he vomited. I found him on the floor of the Batcave lying in a pool of his own vomit and pills and I don think I've ever cried that much before in my life. That wasn't the only time he tried to kill himself. After learning that Dick applied to Harvard, Wally applied too. A lot of people forget that Wally West is actually smart too. He got in and from there he started taking Dick to see psychiatrists in Cambridge, paying for the sessions and medicine using his own savings. According to Wally, Dick had attempted suicide a few times there too. He's only still here because someone got to him every time. There was once where apparently he hotwired Wally's car and tried to get himself into an accident. Another when he smashed the mirror in their apartment and used the shards to slit his wrists. Wally said he shouldn't have been able to survive that. As usual, he executed it to perfection, slicing the Ulnar artery. He made it though. Their next door neighbor was a doctor and was able to give him immediate medical treatment. He was put on suicide watch after that. Another time, he tried to jump off the building of Wayne Enterprises but Dad was there and Dad stopped him. While at Harvard, he continued cutting. It wasn't until Wally broke down in front of him, crying and hugging him and telling him that if he didn't stop now Wally would walk out and kill himself because he didn't know what else he could do that could make him stop. Dick stopped after. He started taking his anti-depressants too. And then during their 3rd year, Joker shot me. It was in the middle of their final exams. Dick flew 5 hours from Massachusetts back to Gotham to see me, but I had thrown him out of my hospital room. After he closed the door, he had a seizure. That was the first time he's ever had one. It scared the shit out of me and Dad. Bruce came over after with Tim."

 

"The doctors told us that it was because he was already having a migraine when he came over but because he didn't bring out any medication, he just ignored the throbbing pain and continued. Wally said he was already having a sensory meltdown when he entered the hospital, but he forced his way to your room to see you because he wanted to make sure you were fine. It was what triggered the seizure. All the stress and emotions had got to him and he just, broke." Tim said. "And that was when Bruce found out that Dick was on suicide watch. He questioned Wally, who all but blew up at him. Wally was so pissed that he just didn't care even when Bruce was giving him the Batglare and continued to tell Bruce about the living nightmare that Dick had subjected himself to for the past 3 years. He said, it was almost like Dick knew his behaviors were self destructive but continued anyways because he was punishing himself for what happened to Jason." Tim chocked as he continued "Then, Bruce did the thing where he retreated back into the persona of Batman and shut himself out emotionally. He told Wally it was his fault for letting Dick get so bad. Dick was smart. He was logical. He wouldn't have engaged in something as stupid as self harming. He knew he needed help and would have ate his anti-depressants. That was the only logical course of action. Wally was beyond pissed and asked him if he knew what Dick was going through. Batman said No. Wally left. Uncle Clark came. Clark told Bruce to get his head out of his ass or Jason will not be the only son that he's lost. That woke Bruce up. We went home and he shut himself in his bedroom the whole night. I think he cried. He didn't let me follow on patrol that night but I found out the next day that he placed 15 criminals in body casts. He went to the hospital for the next 5 days straight an I don't know what happened, but Bruce and Dick had made up." Tim finished.

"That sounds like Dick, always so ready to forgive. The idiot has a heart too big for his head." Jason said

"After he was discharged, he went back to Harvard to finish his exams before coming back the next week to spend his holidays with us. Bruce let Dick take over my training. He was apparently satisfied that I would be able to handle myself when it comes to joker or two-face and after making me promise to request for backup if there was anything I couldn't handle, he gave me his blessings to be Robin. " Tim said "he went back to college but he kept close contact with me and Bruce through video calls, and Bruce and his relationship steadily improved. And then he graduated and came back and Bruce was determined that he was never going to let Dick go again and tried to make Dick stay in the manor. But after 4 years of living alone, he told Bruce he needed a place of his own to go to as well, especially on days when the house reminded him too much of what he had lost. Bruce agreed and Dick moved into the penthouse. Then Bruce pulled him into working at WE. On weekends they would come back together and Nightwing was finally seen on the streets again after so long. Many thought it was a different Nightwing but really it was the same person after a 4 year hiatus. Not that they cared. After patrol, Dick would go back to his penthouse. Only on weekends does he stay at the manor. It fell into a comfortable rhythm. And then Red Hood happened and Dick started spiraling again. He was so sure that Red Hood was Jason and everyone told him that it wasn’t. He thought he was hallucinating and started cutting again. Red Hood starting taunting Nightwing, and had on a few occasions, tried to kill Robin. I remember one night, Red Hood had a gun trained on me. Dick took the bullet, but then went into a panic attack. That was the first time I believed that Red Hood might be Jason. He said, and I quote, "Fucking bullshit! What did they do to you goldie?" He stared on as Nightwing had his panic attack while bleeding out on me, as if he wanted to make sure that Nightwing wouldn't die, but we all knew that Hood didn't give two shits about people dying. It was too out of character. Batman appeared and Hood ran away. " Pausing, Tim looked at Damian, as if trying to read his expression. Not getting anything out of his expression, Tim continued "When Hood was revealed to be Jason, Dick admitted himself into a mental institution because he couldn’t take it."

 

"Grayson - admitted himself into a mental institution?" Damian asked, unable to believe that this was the same person they were talking about. Barbara reached out to comfort the boy. He accepted. This was difficult for him to comprehend.

 

"Damian, Dick was in a dark place back then. He was slowly getting over Jason's death, he was finally picking up the pieces and putting his life back together - then he found out that the brother he mourned for 4 years was still alive and hated him. He was at a loss. He didn't know what to do." Barbara explained slowly.

 

"He was released after a week, and during that time, Bruce had reached out and spoke to Jason. Jason slowly started coming into our lives. Although, if I were to be honest, Bruce didn't do much. It was mostly Alfred." Tim said.

 

"I came back because of Dick. Alfred told me about his suicidal tendencies when I asked him about the night Dick told me to shoot him. I hated Bruce and I was angry that the Joker was still alive but then I heard about what Dick had done to the Joker. The fact that he shared my pain seemed to make me feel better about Bruce not avenging me. I was angry at Bruce for pushing Dick to the breaking point, if anything. Dick had always been Bruce's golden child when I was alive, and the fact that the man I saw on the roof was the shell of a man he used to be - I couldn’t stay away." Jason said. "After I started coming back more, Dick moved back into the manor so that he could spend more time with me. I didn't know about his psych degree then, and he had managed to get me to open up. When I found out though, I was beyond furious and I felt betrayed by him that he manipulated my trust like that. I didn't talk to him for 2 days, but I didn't know what I was angry at. He told me to see a therapist and I blew up at him again. I mean, what was I going to tell the therapist? I died and I hate Batman because he's my father? But he made me talk to Dinah and it got better."

 

"So, now you know what happened. Why he isn't the Dick Grayson you left behind when you decided to run away to find your mother. " Barbara said.

"Yes. And I also think I understand why Wally hates me now." Jason replied, "It would seem that all these started with me because I couldn't control my impulses."

 

"No. It was me. I shouldn't have shut him out like that." Bruce entered the room, eyes red. He clearly went on a trip down memory lane. "I left him to his own self destructive tendencies, expecting him to be okay. I was so focused on my failure to save you that I forgot about my other son. I- I'm sorry Jason. I wasn't a good mentor or father. Damian. I shouldn't have chased you out of Dick's room without explanation either. It's difficult to work with me and I don’t know how you guys have managed to stand me for this long."

 

Tim snorted. "Honestly? Dick. Dick is the glue that's been holding us together."

 

"Yeah, he has that effect on people, doesn't he?" Bruce smiled "Damian, there's a reason why I wanted Dick to train you instead of me. I have been told that I'm a very cold and emotionless person when it comes to training and I can't give you the same kind of support that Dick can. I already screwed up 3 times, I hope I can get it right this time."

 

"Cold and emotionless is an understatement Bruce" Tim smiled "You were brutal. You made me train for days on end 7 days a week 8 hours a day and when I wasn't training it was because I was in school or we were patrolling or working on a case. It was borderline obsessive training." He turned to Damian "Of course, you were trained by the League of Assassins and your training was probably harder and tougher, but you would have probably realized by now that even though Dick doesn't train you obsessively, you've managed to learn more from him than you've had when you were with the league." He smiled. "Dick's an amazing teacher Damian. Count your blessings that he's the one teaching you instead of Bruce. I thought I was good when I was under Bruce. But during the three months, Dick mentored me, I improved so much I didn’t think it was actually possible."

 

"Tt. It is true that I have learned much from Grayson. He is a good mentor." pause "I apologise, Father. I spoke out of place earlier. I should not have confronted the matter so directly if I had known the gravitas of the situation."

 

"You didn't know, kid. Although, we would prefer it if you kept this knowledge to yourself. Ask him about it and if he wants to tell you, he will." Jason said. Barbara and Tim nodded in agreement.

 

"I shall practice care and consideration when approaching this matter. Thank you for letting me know." Damian replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew this was a long and sad chapter. I promise I'll try to stop torturing poor dick from now on! Cue Sunshine and Sparkly glitter for happy and fun chapters ahead!
> 
> Also more information  
> Bruce took Jason in when he was 11. That would make Dick 13 when he took on the Mantle of Nightwing. Jason was killed by the Joker when he was 13 - after a short run as Robin for 2 years. Meaning, Dick was 15 when it happened (also the age when he ran off to study in Harvard). Tim would have been 9 years old then. He's 16 now - which means that he has been Robin for 7 years, the longest time anyone has spent being Robin. So - it's been 4 years since Red Hood has returned. That's why he's not so angsty and doesn't call Tim replacement anymore.


	10. My Caffeine Addiction

My Caffeine Addiction

 

It all started when poor Timmy was 12 years old. One night, when Dick was in the Manor after finishing his finals and was enjoying his break, Tim had chanced upon him doing some work in the kitchen.

 

It was 1 am and Tim had been injured the night before while on patrol and had his arm in a cast. As with the start of all tragedies, Alfred wasn't around. Batman had left Tim behind while he went on patrol alone. His arm was hurting him and he couldn't sleep. He had come down to grab some painkillers so that he could go back to sleep. Between the case files that Bruce wanted him to go through and school, he needed the rest. Walking into the kitchen, he saw Dick sitting at the counter reading something in the darkness. Don't ask what it was. Tim still hadn't picked up braille yet. Also, the lights weren't on and Tim could barely make out the silhouette of Dick.

"Hey kid, what are you doing awake at this time? Shouldn't you be in bed or something." Came Dick's voice

"I uh- my arm was hurting and I wanted to get some pain killers," Tim replied. Tim would have turned on the lights n the kitchen, but there was sufficient moonlight for him to walk around freely - that and he was too lazy to walk all the way to the edge of the kitchen to turn them on. And Dick, being blind, was obviously unfazed by the fact that he was currently sitting in the darkness.

Making his way over to the medicine cabinet, Tim realized that he wasn't tall enough to reach the painkillers, which were kept on a higher shelf. Turning to Dick, he asked "Hey um could you help me take the pain killers? I'm not tall enough to reach them."

Pausing in his act of reading, Dick looked up at Tim "Sure kiddo. Hope Alfred didn't change the orientation of the pill bottles. Let me know if I grabbed the wrong one for ya okay?" Dick moved gracefully and confidently to where the medicine cabinet was and easily reached for the right bottle. He passed it to Tim.

"Yeah, this is the right one," Tim replied. He tried to open the bottle with his one hand as Dick turned around to get him a cup of water. Only, it wasn't a cup of water. It was a cup of coffee. Between Tim generally being sleepy, the darkness, and the fact that Dick was already a coffee addict that was too desensitized to the smell of coffee to actually know what he had just done, Tim drank the cup of coffee down with his pills - Yeah Dick just had really bad lifestyle habits and Tim was too sleepy to notice that he was offered coffee. Satisfied that he could get his sleep now, he muttered his thanks to Dick and made his way back to his room. After lying on his bed for 30minutes or so and finding that he couldn't sleep, Tim decided to look at some of the case files Bruce wanted him to. He turned on the lights at his desk and began going through the files, jotting down notes whenever something came across to him as possible clues. Then someone knocked on his door. Bruce came in and looking at what he was doing, Bruce asked "Tim? What are you doing? Its 4 am in the morning."

"Oh, I couldn't sleep so I was going through some of the case files you left me"

Bruce frowned slightly "You've never had trouble going to sleep before. Not to mention, stay up past 3 am."

"Yeah, it was probably because I didn't really do anything today so I'm not tired." As the words left his mouth, Tim began to notice something wasn't right. Even when he had been banned from training or going on patrol in the past, he was usually too tired to function past 3 am. Most nights when they had gone on patrol, Batman would send him back at 1 to 2 am.

"Well, get some rest soon kid. You have school at 7 later on. Don't wanna be late." Bruce frowned slightly.

"Yeah, I will. Thanks, Bruce." Tim replied. However, he had not gone to sleep at all. He continued to work on the files until his alarm rang. Noticing the time, he went to shower and get ready for school. Still feeling weirdly energetic, he greeted Dick, who seemed to have not moved from his spot last night at all. Dick was nursing a cup of coffee in his hands and he greeted Tim with a smile of his own. "Morning Tim."

Tim went ahead to prepare breakfast for himself - a cup of milk and some cereal. He took a seat opposite Dick as he set down his breakfast on the table. He watched as Dick finished his cup of coffee and moved over to where the coffee pot, half filled with steaming coffee was sitting - on the counter near the medicine cabinet and realization hit him like a ton of bricks. Dick had gave him coffee last night. Up till now, he had not been allowed near coffee. His parents and nanny made sure he didn't have any, and so did Alfred, who told him that he was still too young for coffee and could only have it when he was 14.

"Um Dick, did you give me coffee?" Tim asked.

"Huh? Coffee? Why would I have given you……SHIT I gave you coffee last night!" Dick said, eyes widening in horror.

"You did what?" Came Bruce's voice from down the hall.

"I gave Tim coffee last night to go with his pain killers! Oh My God Bruce what have I done? I gave a 12 old coffee! I'm a monster!" Dick said, hyperventilating.

"At least now we know why you couldn’t sleep last night, Tim," Bruce said.

"I gave a 12-year-old COFFEE! In the middle of the night!" Dick repeated. Tim didn't understand what the matter was. I mean, sure, he knew the effects of caffeine on a person's body. He's read about it. It didn't warrant Dick's reaction though? He was kind of glad that Dick gave him coffee. He was so productive last night clearing case files and now he has even more time to do research and focus on other things.

 

\----------------------------------

One week Later

 

Yeah. Tim was addicted to coffee. After that night, he found himself enjoying the productivity that came with a caffeine-induced high and had started finding ways to sneak coffee into his daily diet. He secretly purchased a pack of 3 in 1 one night after patrol when Batman sent him home early. And so started Tim's journey to coffee addiction. Alfred the all-knowing, was the first to find out about Tim's addiction. Then, of course, Bruce found out. Then Dick found out and had a panic attack when he realized that he was the one who started all this. Bruce had to sedate him.

They tried to cut him back on his coffee intake and Alfred even tried giving him decaf coffee, but nothing worked. He was officially addicted. The caffeine-induced productivity called to him like a moth to fire and slowly, his caffeine intake got higher and higher until it could rival Bruce's. By 14, he had realized that he couldn't function without coffee. By 16, he needed at least 2 cups of coffee in the morning before he could function. Of course, the true caffeine addict in the family was still Dick, who drank coffee like it was plain water.

 

And that's the story of how Dick got poor Tim hooked to coffee at the tender age of 12. Nope. It was not because Tim had no self-control and couldn't stop himself from wanting more coffee. It was Dick. Dick's fault. That's what Tim told anyone and everyone who tried to question his habits. Dick's fault.


	11. Dick and The Piano

Dick

  
Dick Grayson was a piano prodigy. There was no question. When Bruce had took in Dick, he was 7. Alfred had taken upon himself to teaching the boy basics in music and piano playing. He was of the opinion that a respectable gentleman should know at least the basics of this timeless art form. He imparted what he knew of the art to the child, as he had done for Master Bruce during his formative years. He was, to put it mildly, very surprised at young master Dick's quick pick up on the instrument. After just 4 lessons with the young boy, Alfred picked up on Dick's uncanny ability to recreate something he heard perfectly on the piano. Sure he made a few mistakes here and there, but he generally got it within a few tries. And to think the boy never had any previous experience with the instrument. They had very quickly gotten the boy a tutor, who would come by to coach Dick. The tutor - one of the best that money could afford, came to the same conclusion as Alfred. Dick was a prodigy. The tutor was extremely pleased with Dick's performance and on occasion let him skip grades. Sure they had some difficulties when it came to the theory part and it was difficult to find scores in Braille, but they managed. Together with Dick's ability to recreate anything he heard to perfection, Dick quickly became a legend and his story spread through Gotham's high society like wildfire. Dick had never gotten anything lesser than Distinction for his practical exams and received his Diploma when he was only 13.

 

Jason

 

When Jason joined the family, Alfred wanted him to learn the instrument too. However, he didn't have the patience to learn it and repeating the same few actions so many times frustrated him to no end. It didn't help that he still couldn't play it right. He was trying to play a chord progression one day when Dick walked in on him practising. Not knowing that Dick was already at grade 8, Jason complained to him about how difficult it was to play the chord progression and how meaningless it was. He just wanted to learn how to play the instrument. Offering Jason a small smile, Dick told Jason to get off the stool. He then took a seat and started playing the chord progressions perfectly. After 2 rounds, he eased the chord progression into what Jason thought was the most amazing thing he had ever heard. It wasn't any famous piece. It was just Dick adding notes in-between the progressions and threading all of it into a piece of music. He then told Jason to give it time. It wasn't that hard. Jason insisted he play a few more pieces and he did. That day, Jason's interest in the instrument peaked and for the first time, he was determined to master the instrument - he got to grade 3 when the Joker killed him. Sometimes he wondered if he was only trying to prove that he could do better than Dick - other times he was just glad that the music provided some form of escape from him and allowed Dick to bond with him over something that wasn't night-time activities.

 

Tim

Tim was born into Gotham's upper class. He knew how to play the piano. Throw in the fact that he was also a genius - he was already at Grade 4 when he met Bruce. He knew that Dick was a Prodigy in the realm of music but between Jason's death and Dick attending University, he had never heard Dick play the instrument before. Tim had never really actively paid attention to the instrument - it was duty and status for him. He was never really interested in the piano. He went for exams and excelled because it was his duty. That was until he heard Dick playing the piano one day. When he was 12- and losing patience with the art form. His tutor wanted him to go for grade 8 but the pieces were getting harder and he didn't have time to practice. Then one afternoon after school, he heard the most melodious rendition of Beethoven's Fur Elise being played on the piano in the seating room. He found himself entranced by the music and his body made his way into the room. There, Dick was seated in front of the piano - his fingers glided effortlessly over the black and white keys. The piece ended and smoothly transitioned into Chopin's Nocturne No.8. Silently making his way into the room, Tim listened as Dick hit a few transitional chords and the piece changed to Fugue no.6 in C minor by Handel - one of the exam pieces for Tim's grade 8 exam. It was there and then he decided that he would try his best to take the exam - he had a sudden desire to play as well as Dick could. Dick's music had inspired him - so much so that he learnt the instrument with such renewed vigour that his tutor was surprised. He had never been so invested in the piano before. Tim had also shyly asked if Dick could tutor him. Dick made learning music one of the best lessons he ever had - he used a language that Tim understood - sound waves, math, pattern recognition and neural comprehension. Tim never saw the instrument that way before but after a few classes with Dick - he began dissecting music the way Dick had taught him - and he thought it was one of the most wonderful things ever. While he never got a Diploma and stopped after Grade 8, he was, without question, a proficient pianist. Of course - no one in the family could rival Dick's ability to emote so much with music.

 

Cass

When Bruce first bought Cass back to the manor, she wasn't very good at communicating her thoughts. While Bruce had taught her sign language, it wasn't exactly a good way for her to communicate with Dick - sure the guy could understand her if formed she signs with his hand, but it was difficult for both Cass and Dick. Then, one day she heard him playing the piano and it all changed. She had never heard so many emotions being conveyed to her, clear as day - before. She was so glad and she listened, paid attention to his body language and the music - she didn't know what song it was - but it was so sad. She had always thought that despite all the smiles and grins, Dick anas a even sadder person than Bruce or Tim. Her judgement was cemented as she heard the sadness be conveyed through his music. Then, the music changed pitch - and it was angry. The music was soft, but the notes agitated. It was confused, and lost. She never told him about it. She did make Alfred and any one willing teach her though. She thought this was a way more efficient method of communication than sign. Conveys everything important about a person to the other. She had asked Tim. But she found that she didn't like it. His playing was robotic. It sounded melodious yes, but it didn't have the emotion that was coming off in waves when Dick played. Bruce was terrible at it as well. Alfred did much better - but no one, no one managed it as Dick did. Eventually, she learnt a few words and when Dick came back and started playing the piano again, she would find herself listening to him as he told his story and worked his way through his emotions. One day -when he was playing Flight of the Bumble bee, Cass said "Happy". Dick smiled. He then played a rendition of Claire de Lune -by any means a sad song, but she heard his heart - and she said "happy". Deciding that maybe this could be a new form of communication between them, Dick took it upon himself to teach Cass. Cass never took any exams but when it comes to playing the piano - she could use a few pieces to convey her emotions - and Dick understands it as clear as day. It became their secret method of communication with each other and Cass cherished every moment spent learning it with Dick as her mentor. She would repay him by agreeing to spar with him, and teach him new forms that her father taught her.

 

Jason (After)

When Jason came back, he hated the piano so much - it reminded him of how he could never compare to Dick Grayson, the Golden son. But then, he had heard Dick playing the piano again and it sounded so sad, so broken unlike the songs that Dick used to play and it made his heart ache and God what had he gone through these few years to make him so lost? Instead of touching his heart with joy as it used to, the music was filled with loss and made his heart bleed.

 

Gotham

The first time Gotham heard their crown prince play, they went mad. It was during a fundraising event for one of the orphanages Wayne Enterprise supported, and Dick had promised that if they managed to hit the amount they were aiming for, he would play a piece - and for every half million after the stipulated mark, he would play another piece. Needless to say, that night went successfully well. They managed to raise 3 times the amount they had expected as Gotham fell head over heels in love with Dick's music. Ever since then, every event where Dick and his music were involved, the amounts of money they managed to raise would often hit way beyond expectations as people couldn't get enough of hearing him play.

 

Damian

The first time Damian heard Dick play, he was so entranced by it that he froze. The music painted such a swirly and beautiful world that Damian felt he was transported into another world - it was so hopeful, so beautiful. Sure he had wrongly assumed Dick was the tuner and they had gotten off on the wrong foot, but he couldn't get rid of the image that Dick painted with his music. Given his talent in painting and drawing, he attempted to recreate the picture many times, but none of it felt right. After he had gotten to know his Father more, he requested for piano classes. Of course, his Father agreed and got him the best tutor his money could get (AKA Dick's original tutor). However, Damian quickly realised that what he was learning was so different from what Dick had done - he was stuck here playing chord progressions while Dick was creating worlds. He didn't understand. Sure he knew that to become a master of any art form you had to start from the basics, but even as his teacher taught him the basics, he could not see how what he was learning now could help him play like Dick did. One day, Dick and Bruce had gotten home early from work and heard him practicing in the seating room. The two of them walked in and all but melted at Damian trying to play fur Elise - of course, he had failed terribly at it and was absolutely upset that it had been 2 weeks since they started on it but he still couldn't play the song correctly. As he slammed his fists onto the piano in frustration, Dick walked up to him and took a seat beside him, slowly telling him the story of fur Elise and then showing him how to play it. When the notes came out under Dick's hand, it's felt right. He could feel Beethoven's love turned anger at his student. There was the love, but also the resentment. There was also Dick's signature happiness to it. The familiar chord came to life and walked him through the story without the need to verbalise anything. However, when Damian attempted it again, it all came out WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!   
It was no where near the softness and grace Dick managed, nor did it have the elegance the piece promised. Dick smiled softly and told him to go lighter on the keys and not to place emphasis on every note. He tried again, and was slightly more pleased at the result. Dick told him that no one masters anything in a single day, and to give it some time. Sensing a opportunity, Damian made Dick play Fantasie Impromptu again - he wanted to hear it again because it had been stuck in his mind and he desperately wanted to show it in painting style and he needed to be pulled back into the world. Dick huffed and agreed. However, this time - a different rendition was played - it was lighter and he was pulled into a different world from the previous. This one was strong, confident and light. There was so much love and happiness it hurt him. But it was also so beautiful - it reminded him of a busy person finally coming home at the end of the day and relaxing with his family and loved ones. It reminded him of the nights when Grayson and Father would come home tired, but happy to spend time with Tim and Jason and himself. You could see how tired they were- but at the same time Grayson would still spar and train him and Father would go out with Todd and Drake and someone would crack a stupid joke over the comms and everyone would laugh and it hurt Damian so much but it felt so right and it felt like home.


	12. Gone Treasure Hunting

Nightwing was the stuff legends were made of. The first Robin. The first side kick. Batman's partner and most probably the only other person he ever listened to. He took down 50 assassins and Ra's Al Ghul alone once. Deathstroke, which often took many of them to neutralize, was an even match for Nightwing. He once supported over 1000 lbs of rubble over his head to save people from a burning building. He dodged bullets at point blank - even surviving a bullet the Joker gave him which was shot at point blank right at his heart. He was once chosen as a candidate to succeed a Green Lantern. He was one of the most trusted allies of the 7 founding members and by extension, the Justice League - everyone listened when Nightwing spoke.

 

Beast Boy and Impulse swore to have seen him take down Level 12 simulations with a blindfold on. Of course, what they didn't know was that Nightwing was actually already on level 15 out of the 17 levels of simulation they had (new levels only appeared when the previous levels were defeated. It was a system originally designed by Nightwing, and then upgraded by Robin III when he joined. The machine made use of machine learning and algorithms to learn from the moves of its opponents and the levels would increase in difficulty exponentially - with the machine learning all the moves of the members and predicting their next moves).  Nightwing was in fact, bored that day and wanted to test his senses in the simulation room. However, he couldn't do that when his mask would keep telling him where things were, so he put a blindfold over it and set the simulation to level 12. Of course, Beast Boy and Impulse did not know that Nightwing was blind and were shocked at their mentor's ability! The team were all around level 5 or 6 on the simulation! Sure, Robin was already on level 10, but he was also a Bat so no one was going to comment on it. They knew that even some Justice League members had problems with completing level 12 and here was Nightwing taking on the simulations with a blindfold!

 

Imagine the surprise when their den parents, Me'gann and Conner announced that Nightwing would not be coming in to train them because he was sick! Sick? Sick and Nightwing didn't go along together. Nightwing had always been so strong that they had allowed themselves to forget that he was human. I mean sure, there was this one time when he had a killer headache and was forced to seat down and watch them spar instead of personally training them, but even then! Nightwing still managed to coach them from the sidelines, pointing out their problems and how to improve! How sick must he be that he couldn't come in at all? Nightwing was placed on bed rest by his doctor was 5 days! All because of some illness! He wasn't even injured! The team immediately became very worried for their mentor. What kind of illness did it have to be to put the legendary Nightwing out of commission for 5 days? They were all asking questions about it when the Zeta tubes announced the arrival of Artemis, The Flash (Wally West), as well as Tempest (Kaldur). The original Young Justice Team (save Nightwing) was gathered here!

 

"Sup kiddos, Wing got us to come here to train you." Flash said.

"Indeed younglings, Nightwing has requested us to return and aid all of you in training. We will be paying close attention to your performance and reporting it back to Nightwing," Tempest added.

"That bad huh," Conner asked, his eyes scrutinizing Wally. If anyone knew what exactly happened to Nightwing, it would be Wally. Conner was worried too - he had come to see Nightwing as a brother after all these years. Nightwing helped him through some of his own darker times and also helped Conner and Superman bond. For him to get all 5 of them back together, he must be really out of it.

"Yeah, Bats won't even let me see him! I'm his best friend! Robin texted tho. Nightwing grounded the whole Bats family and said that they were not allowed to go out until the doctor allowed him of bed rest." Flash told Conner.

"Wing has a whole week of training planned out for you guys. I've seen it. It's going to be tough - and Rob won't be here to save you so you guys better be mentally prepared for what's coming. Get changed and gather in the training room in 30mins." Artemis addressed the group.

 

As the original young justice made their way to the training room, Artemis aske if Me'gann could establish a mind link.

_"Mindlink established. What did you wish to discuss, Artemis?"_

_"I didn't want to let the small ones over hear our conversation, and this was the best way for us to have it without them eavesdropping. What do you think happened? Even on his worst days he's never had to take 5 days of bed rest." Artemis said._

_"Indeed Artemis, the situation is concerning. When Dick called me, he sounded very weak - as if the conversation had taken a lot out of him" Kaldur agreed._

_"What! He called you?! All I got was a call from Robin telling me to get my ass over here and that Wing would send me an email regarding the activities for the next 5 days!" Wally said._

_"Hood was the one who got in touch with us - he mentioned that Wing was too out of it to call anyone else and they wanted him to rest, so the rest of the family helped him disseminate the information instead." Me'gann said._

_"Still! He should have called me first!" Wally said, upset that his Best Friend had called Kaldur instead of himself first._

_"Perhaps it is because he knew that I would have only responded if it was him, Wally. He knows I am not very close with the rest of  the Bat Family and I would probably feel uncomfortable if it was them who got in touch instead of himself." Kaldur replied, attempting to placate Wally._

_"Yeah Baywatch, stop being such an over jealous girlfriend. Batman was the one who contacted me. Ugh. You can only imagine how it went. He told me to check my email and meet you guys here. That was it. He didn't offer me anything else. Urgh I don't know how Wing stands him" Artemis added._

_"So, what do we know? Maybe we can get a clearer picture from the bits and pieces we have gathered" Conner said._

  The group reached the training room and stood in a circle, engaged in mind-conversation with each other

_"From what Babs and Rob told me, apparently Wing had a very exhausting Sunday. Rob said he had a sensory meltdown, followed by a migraine and then a panic attack. Babs said he had another one when he woke up. But what had caused the migraine, I am not sure." Wally said._

_"Hood told us that they had to sedate him twice, and he was now stuck on bed rest with sedatives dripping into him. On top of that, their doctor had given him stronger medication that is meant to ensure he sleeps." Me'gann said._

Wally and Artemis frowned - sedate him twice? It must be really bad if they left him on sedatives.

_"Nightwing had informed me that he was on bed rest because of over-exhaustion" Kaldur said._

_"So, based on what we know, Dickhead exhausted himself, had a senosry meltdown, followed by one of his terrible migraines, then a panic attack, and they sedated him - then he woke up and had another panic attack - and was sedated again? Dude that sucks." Artemis concluded._

_"Yeah, that sounds like him. Idiot who doesn't know what self-care is" Wally snorted._

_"Hold on. If he was already on bed rest due to over exhaustion - how the hell did he still manage to plan out 5 days of training for them?" Conner questioned._

_"You know, that's a great question Supey. I wonder WHO allowed him to plan something so detailed when he was supposed to be resting." Wally said._

_"Knowing Nightwing, it is likely that he insisted or manipulated them into allowing him to plan out the 5 days ahead. It's Nightwing. When has he ever not gotten his way if he really insisted? I'm surprised he was willing to agree to 5 days of rest at all." Me'gann said._

_"Right. Now that we know what happened to him, let's focus on our task at hand. Have you all read through the instructions?" Artemis asked._

_"Yes. He left very specific instructions." Conner replied._

_"I still can't believe he managed to plan this out in less than a day. How?! I mean, we all know he's a genius but Damn! 5 days of activities!" Wally exclaimed_

_"Yeah, living with Bats will probably have that effect on you" Artemis said._

_"Come on guys, the team has gathered around us and are looking at us strangely. They are probably expecting us to brief them now." Kaldur said._

That was when they realised that the team were all staring at them weirdly.

 

The team was staring that them weirdly. The original 5 were huddled in a circle and looking at each other, as if they were engaged in a conversation - but no one said anything. It was almost like they were a cult. After a while, Beast Boy finally realised what was going on "Oh! Mindlink!" He said and the rest of the team nodded. Then, Kaldur cleared his throat. "Alright team, split yourselves into 5 groups and we shall brief you once that is done."

 

Very quickly, Wally added " Don't just choose your best friends! Make sure to strategise and split yourselves wisely"

 

Turns out, Nightwing had planned for them to go on a treasure hunt - but it wasn't just any treasure hunt. They had to work together as a team, use their minds to solve the puzzles and clues given, form partnerships with other teams to see if they could exchange information, and of course, take down enemies. The simulator had been set to level 7 (they didn't know that) and the teams had to work together to take out their enemies. The original 5 observed and took down notes of what they did correctly and what they did not do well. Everyday, the teams were reshuffled and everyone had a chance to work with everyone. They were required to do peer and self evaluation at the end of the day and submit it to the 5. On the final day, all of them were required to come together and plan their own mission. They were given a set of paper work and left to figure it out on their own. After a whole morning, the team finally put the pieces together. There was going to be an illegal shipment in a warehouse near happy harbor happening at 7pm. Their enemies were going to be the original 5 + Arsenal and Wonder Girl. They started to plan their attack strategy (they had to do it without the guidance of any senior members - and they came to have a huge respect for Nightwing, who was the one that usually planned these things for them). Slightly worried that they will not be able to take down the 7 that Nightwing had gotten to play enemy- they had to strategise and play into each other's strengths and weaknesses. It was difficult without Robin around - and they realized that they may all have been a tad bit too reliant on his skills as they have came to find over the course of the past 5 days. Rob would probably have figured out the paper trail faster than all of them combined and finished planning before afternoon even rolled by. But no- without Robin or Nightwing, they took until 5pm to come up with a plan that they were satisfied with. As night rolled by, they split off into the agreed teams and formations and executed their plan - only for it to fail the moment they entered the warehouse. As Nightwing had often told them - battle plans never survive first contact with the enemy - and they were about to find out the hard way why Nightwing always emphasized on good and clear communication when engaged in a fight. They failed spectacularly that night, and all of them were caught within 30mins of the simulation. Feeling disappointed, they made their way back to the mountain for their debrief.

 

Surprised that on top of the 7 mentors that had taken them down that night -Nightwing was there! Well, he wasn't really there - it was a holographic projection of his upper half in what looked to be the Batcave. He was in a conversation with the 7 before the team had walked in - yeah they had left the team bounded and gagged in the warehouse to escape on their own while they returned to the mountain.

"Nightwing!" Many members of the team screamed excitedly, excited to see him.

"Hey guys! Did you enjoy the past few days? Sorry I wasn't around." Nightwing said

"Are you feeling better already Nightwing?" Blue Beetle asked. At the same time, Beast boy asked "When will you be coming back! We miss you!"

Nightwing offered them a smile before he spoke "Yeah, don't worry about it guys, I'm feeling better now. I've read some of your reports and self-evaluations. Kaldur will be debriefing you for tonight. I'll see you guys soon. Probably on Sunday. You can tell me all about it then. Good job guys! Nightwing out." Holographic Nightwing disappeared as Kaldur gave them their debrief "What do you think went wrong today?"

"None of us took the initiative to step up and take control of the situation"

"We stuck to the plan and didn't improvise"

"We did not pay attention to what was happening to the other teams and left them to their own devices"

"We did not plan properly and account for everything"

"We did not expect different fighting styles and assumed we knew what you guys would have done and how to take you down."

"Good, you guys are getting better and more aware of what went wrong. Most of you have relied on Robin or Nightwing or one of us to lead and give instructions instead of taking the initiative yourselves. When some of you realised that things were not going according to plan, no one stepped up to take control of the situation and break radio silence. There was no communications between the small teams so no one really knew what was happening. If you had broken radio silence, you would have been able to quickly reconvene and coordinate your efforts to launch strike 2 against us. Instead, you blindly trusted that all other teams could handle themselves and stuck closely to the only plan you had. While research is important, you cannot expect the enemy to always behave the way you expect them to. Many of you were shocked when instead of shooting Arrows and Rubber bullets, Artemis and Arsenal were equipped with tranquilizer darts to quickly take out and knock out those who were hit. Impulse noticed and relied on his speed to get him out of the situation, but had gotten himself trapped in Wonder girl's lasso with no way to vibrate out of. La'gann and Blue Beetle expected me to be in the waters but instead I was hiding on the roof, and they stood no chance against my attack. There were many other things that have gone wrong tonight, but I will leave it up to you to discuss among yourselves what happened. Now, let us talk about what were some of the things you had done well today."

 

"Done well? It was a disaster!" Beast Boy was the first to speak.

"Indeed, it was a disaster, but you must have done something good." Me'gann spoke and Artemis nodded her agreement.

 

"Well, we managed to solve the clues given to us and traced it to the right location?"

"Yeah, but we took half a day just to do that! If Robin was here he would have done it within 1 hour or something!"

 

"That is correct. However, Robin was not here and yet you have all still managed to solve the clues and come to the correct conclusion. I'll admit, even I had difficulties seeing the pattern when I first saw the papers and it took me some time to solve it as well. Not everyone here has had the amount of training Nightwing or Robin had under Batman when it comes to threading clues together, and in my books, the fact that you managed to get the correct location at all should be something worth celebrating."Kaldur said, giving the team a smile before he continued "Anything else?"

 

"We uh, we made sure to strategize and group ourselves into teams to play and complement each other's strengths and weaknesses?"

"You sound very unsure of what you are saying. But yes, you have all paired up in teams to complement your strengths to the environment efficiently. I believe all of us here agree that your teaming up was a good strategy. La'gann is more efficient when near the water and Blue beetle would be able to help him cover assaults from the ground - a good team when it comes to taking down an enemy near or in the water - you would have managed to trap me if I were in the water.  Getting Impulse and Bumblebee to take down Arsenal and Artemis was smart too. Impulse would have been able to catch any weapons they fired and quickly neutralize them both. Only problem was that the 2 of them did not use the conventional weapon you expected. However, it is still good that you are all familiar with each other's strengths and weaknesses and managed to work together - even if you were not close with the person previously. All in all, good job guys. Your performance was satisfactory as you were never going to have succeeded in tonight's mission - Nightwing had acted as our Oracle and we knew what you guys were up to the moment you set foot in the warehouse. There was a close to 0 chance that you would have succeeded. However, do not despair for I believe you have all learnt very important lessons from tonight and the past 4 days. Nightwing has requested that all of you evaluate tonight's events and submit your reports to us by tonight. I hope that we have been good mentors and that you enjoyed the past few days as much as we had. If you have any other questions, now is the time to ask them."  Kaldur concluded.

 

"What happened to Nightwing?" Blue Beetle asked

"Perhaps you should ask him that yourself when he returns." Kaldur replied.

"On a scale of 1 to 10, how did you think we performed tonight" someone asked

Artemis replied "How much would you say you have improved as a team over the past 5 days? The purpose of these 5 days was not to grade your performance tonight, but rather, for all of you to get to know each other's strengths and weaknesses better. You can't always rely on Robin or someone else to tell you what to do - and learning how to come together without the assistance of the Bats is important. There might just be a day when you are stuck in enemy territory with a unconscious Robin and no way to contact the JLA. What will you do then? Instead of focusing on tonight's failures, think about how much you have improved as a team together. Here's a little something to brighten up your days. When you were going treasure hunting and defeating the simulations with your teams, you might have found that it was more difficult than usual. That was because it was set to level 7, which we know none of you have managed to reach yet, even as a team. However, when under pressure to perform, you have all managed to quickly play into the strengths and cover for the weaknesses of your team members and beat the simulator. "

 

The 7 mentors smiled as looks of realisation dawned on the faces of the team. Nightwing had managed to give them all a very important lesson and he wasn't even here!


	13. Origins (Part 1)

When he was a kid, he didn't understand that there existed a world around him where people could see, where people didn't bump or walk into things and had to feel their way around. His parents tried to explain to him what it meant to be blind, but he didn't really understand it - he was too young. It wasn't until he was 5 or 6 years old when he understood that he was different - that there was a different world where colors existed and people didn't have to use a cane to guide themselves around. Not that that had ever mattered to him - his parents loved him, and those in the circus always made sure that everything remain mostly unchanged when they moved from one area to another. It usually took him a only a day to reorient himself before he was running around without his cane in the compound. The fortune teller had taught him how to read people's body language -what it meant when people shifted - to recognise the different sounds they made unconsciously when they started rubbing their fingers together or when they nervously clicked their tongues. The clowns taught him how to balance on balls and run on it. They taught him how to throw knives at targets. It was usually balloons pinned to a target board. The clowns would tell him to focus on the sound of the balloon popping when they threw it so that he knew where it was, then taught him how to throw. The trainers for the animal acts had allowed him to feel Zitka the elephant so that he could understand what and elephant was. They let him ride on Zitka and the elephant seemed to realise that the boy couldn't see, and was always on the look out for danger in case the boy got too near it. Pop Harley taught him what profits and margins were - seeing that the boy had loved doing math and calculating so much. When he turned 5, the circus pulled together what little money they had in extras to buy the kid a book in braille so that he could study and learn the language. His parents taught him how to fly - sure he couldn't see, but he was an excellent acrobat and they knew it. They started off with training his form - then they moved on to the trapeze, making sure there was a bell hung at every rung. They would go through the movements with him on the ground, label the movements 1 through _n_ number of movement, verbalise the movements and ring the bell when they reached the rung. Then he would try and imitate - the first few times ended with him in the net. Slowly but surely, he got better and he almost hardly ever fell. His sense of hearing was honed as best as they could to help him survive in a sighted world and he was grateful for it. By the time he was 7, he could manage a quadruple flip and do complex stunts. The circus realised that the child was a genius - he had a photographic memory of where everything was and picked up languages of the places they were visiting faster than anyone did. They tried their best to teach him what they knew - everyone loved the kid- he was always so happy and bright. Then tragedy struck as Mary and John Grayson hit the floor. Dick blamed himself - he told the police that a man named Tony Zucco had did it - that Tony had sabotaged their trapeze by pouring something onto it that had melted the wires. The police didn't believe the blind kid - after all, why would they? He didn't see anything. Bruce Wayne was there that night and had ran down to quickly cover the bodies of Mary and John Grayson, hugging the child and shielding him from the bodies. Reminded of what he had went through as a child, he had taken in the kid as his ward.

 

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One day, while Dick was wandering around the manor, he ended up in the Batcave. Of course, he didn't know it was the Batcave at that time. He was terribly lost and he wanted to call out for help but he didn't want to bother Bruce or Alfred. He thought he was a burden and was almost positive that Bruce would turn him over to an orphanage once he realized how much of a burden he was. He had never felt as useless before in his life - when he was with the circus, nothing had ever changed and everything was familiar - but here, in this huge house, he was frustrated. There were so many hallways to remember and there were stairs everywhere, not to mention priceless antiques that he could break if he accidentally hit any with his cane. Suddenly, Alfred's familiar voice reached his ears.

"Master Batman, I must insist that you head upstairs and have your dinner. It is past the acceptable hour to have your meal."

Batman? Batman could help him avenge his parents! "Batman!" he called out.

"Master Dick! How did you find your way down here?" Alfred spoke.

"I- I got lost and I was trying to find my way back to my room but I heard you say Batman's name! Is Batman here Alfred? Batman can help me avenge my parent's death! Mister Batman sir please it wasn't an accident! Tony Zucco did it! I overheard him having a conversation with Pop Haley and then after that I heard him order his men to burn the ropes and I told the police but they didn't believe me. Please mister Batman you must help me! No one else believes me!" Dick said very quickly, reduced to a sobbing mess when he reached the end.

"Master Batman, you should do something." Came Alfred's voice. Then he heard the sound of a swish of a cape, boots thudding the floor as Batman moved closer to where he was. He picked the boy up "Kid, we'll talk about this again okay? Lets get you back to your room." came Batman's gravelly voice. However, Dick had picked up on the nuances - this man's strides sounded like Bruce. He smelled like Bruce too. He even carried Dick the way Bruce did. Then he recalled the nights when Bruce wasn't in - they had all coincided with the nights the TV reported Batman sightings. A thought formed in his head and he asked "Br-Bruce? Are you Batman?" Batman paused in his strides, seemingly contemplating what he should tell the kid. After a long, tense moment of silence, he spoke up "Yeah, chum. How did you figure it out?" Dick smiled a uneasy smile and explained his theory. Bruce was surprised. "Alright Chum, let's get you to bed. We can talk about what you heard Tony Zucco had done tomorrow okay?"

"Promise?" Dick asked. "Yeah, I promise" came Bruce's reply.

The next morning at Breakfast, Dick told Bruce everything - from Tony Zucco's threats to his orders to burn the ropes with acid. Then, surprising both Bruce and Alfred, Dick presented them with more evidence of why Batman should nab Tony Zucco. When Dick had moved in with Bruce, Bruce had gotten him a computer with text-to-speech output. Alfred had taught the boy how to use it and soon he was a champ at it. Showing them incriminating evidence of Tony Zucco's crimes that were reported in the news - many of it being killing as warning for not giving protection money, Dick firmly tied him to a motive and highly possible role in the murder of his parents, which was further supported by his own statement. Bruce was impressed. Very very impressed.  First the boy had managed to stumble upon the Batcave and now this. He suspected that the boy was much smarter than he let on. Batman was hardly ever wrong - and Dick Grayson was a force to be reckoned with. When he told Dick that Batman will take down Tony Zucco, the boy demanded to be involved in the process - and he won. 1 month later, Bruce found himself training Dick and he found that the boy already had very good form and impeccable hearing. What had shocked him the most was the boy's uncanny ability to throw knives at target boards - until Dick told him what the clownshad taught him. Ah that explained so much. At close range, Dick Grayson handled himself very well. 9 Months later, Batman surprised Dick with a gift to help him function in places he wasn't familiar with. 10 Months later, Batman had a new partner - Robin.  Dick joked to Batman that he had the best cover for a secret identity - Dick Grayson was blind, but Robin fought with Batman out in the crummy streets of Gotham. A year later, the Young Justice team would be formed.

 

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A few months later, in Mount Justice.

 

"I want to say something. I know you have all been wondering about how I suddenly have more powers than I did previously. I- I am not full Kryptonian. My other donor for my DNA is Lex Luthor. He has been giving me these 'shields' which temporarily gives me powers such as heat vision." Superboy said. Robin listened intently as Superboy explained what had happened with Luthor and how he was supposed to meet his so-called father on Santa Prisca for more shields.

"Who your gene donors are don't define you. I… we all know that. Thank you for telling us." Robin assured.

 

Artemis took a deep breath, then walked to the console, pulling up the files of her family. "Superboy isn't the only one with bad genes, and I think - I think I trust you all enough with this secret now. My Father is- my father is the Sportsmaster and my sister is Cheshire." Artemis quickly said, not daring to look up. While a few gasps went through the team, everyone was quick to reassure Artemis that it didn't matter, and they were glad that she shared this information with them.

 

After that, M'gann decided to reveal her true form as a White Martian to the team as well – a race among the more heavily populated greens back on Mars that were constantly rejected. She was an outcast among her own people, and had been trained to see herself as nothing more than a monster. Conner was quick to reassure her that she was not a monster.

 

Robin decided now was as good a time as any to spill his own secret as well. "I have a secret of my own to share as well" Robin started. KF was the first to react "Rob, I'm not sure that's a great idea - I mean you know im like super supportive of you right, but if you tell them Bats might just murder us and hang our corpses for all to see"

Robin snorted a laugh at KF's reaction - he was so glad Wally West was his best friend - he was so supportive and ready to jump to defend Robin. "Don't worry about Bats I'll handle him." He paused "I'm Blind."

Everyone save Kid Flash reacted to that in different states of shock.

"I always wondered - but I had assumed it couldn't be true because while you being blind would explain so many things, it also doesn't explain so many things you do." Came Kaldur's reaction.

"Oh Robin! I'm so glad you trusted us with this!" Was Me'gann's reaction

Artemis hid her discomfort at not picking it up earlier with humor "Man are you sure you're not a meta? I mean I already thought you were a meta and now you say something like that and dude!"

"How? You're blind!" Was Conner's question.

 

Robin offered them a small smile and proceeded to explain "Technology is a wonderful thing guys. I may not be able to see, but I have other ways of getting around. Usually before we go on missions, I will download blueprints and listen to read outs of the area. Good thing I have a photographic memory too." He turned on his Hologlove to demonstrate - expertly navigating it, he pulled out a map of the cave's hallways and the exact location of where they are. He ran his hand across the projection which interacted with the sensors in his gloves to make it feel real. "It usually only takes me a few minutes to learn the layout. My suit also has integrated sensors that scans the environment and detects objects and movement around me - it sends the information to the comm device I wear. Volume indicates distance, Tone is size and length is speed.  Together it gives me a pretty good and accurate idea of what's going on. Although, I don't really depend on it when I'm in the cave or if Supey is in hearing range - it'll probably give him a headache from all the information. I don't really need it when I'm sparring with you guys either since I mostly get a very good idea of where all of your positions are just by listening, I only use them when we're in uncontrolled environments."

 

Everyone paid attention as Robin explained everything to them. Then, Conner was the first to break the silence "You don't think I could stand them?" He asked, curious.

"Not unless you want a huge headache!" Robin joked.

"I want to try." Conner replied, determined.

"Sure Conner." Robin replied as he handed his comm device over to Conner. Then, from his utility belt, he took out a few extra sensors he always carried with him - Batman was of the opinion that if his suit had been damaged, at least he had extras on hand to replace. Robin wasn't going to argue with that logic. Placing the sensors around Superboy with precision, he grinned and types a few commands into his wrist computer. The sensors on Superboy activated and within moments Superboy winced. He quickly removed the comm device "Rob's right I can't handle this." Conner said. The group huffed out in laughter and Me'gann asked if she could try them next. Then Artemis gave it a shot. Finally it was Kaldur's turn. They had all done okay - despite being slow, they managed to get around without hitting anything. Then, everyone looked at Kid Flash, who blushed under their stares "I'm not trying man I've tried it before and I hit everything and stubbed my toe. It hurt! The thing doesn't work for Speedsters." At that, everyone laughed out loud - Wally probably just didn't have the patience to dissect the instructions. As they fell into companionable silence, Me'gann asked Robin if he had always been blind, or turned blind at some point in his life.

"I've always been blind - so don't ask me why my costume is Red Green and Yellow. I have no idea what those are." Robin attempted to joke. Me'gann had gotten upset and asked softly "Do you think it would help you if I could send you mental images of the environment?"

Robin had perked up at that, "That's a great idea, Me'gann!"

Kid Flash was quick to respond as well "Show him me! He needs to know how handsome I am!"

"pffT Baywatch I wouldn't wish that for anyone. You're a sight to behold alright - just not sure if it's because you're handsome" Artemis said.

However, to their dismay, Robin could not comprehend what Me'gann was showing him - and it had, instead, caused him a splitting headache. As the team watched Robin curl into himself, Kid Flash quickly gave him some pills. Robin's face visibly softened after a few minutes.

Me'gann was devasted "I'm sorry." She wanted to help him, not give him the biggest headache of his life!

"Hey, don't worry about it. My brain has issues with comprehending stuff it sees. Guess that applies to mental images as well." Robin replied. "Also guys, I told you my secret in confidence that you will treat me the same way you have been doing. I don't need your pity or sudden mother henning. I've been fine all this time and you probably would not have found out at all so let's keep it the way it was before alright?" Robin added. The group nodded - and realizing that Robin wouldn't have seen that action, verbalized the agreement. Realization hit like a ton of bricks as they realized that this was the reason why Wally was always annoyingly verbalizing their agreement or disagreement to anything.


	14. Problem at Wayne Enterprise!

Wayne Enterprises had just recently absorbed a smaller failing company and saved them from bankruptcy -Lucius and Dick had both been positive that the company could generate profits under Wayne Enterprises as an extension of WE. It was beneficial to both WE -which will gain more credibility and support as a mega-conglomerate, whereas the smaller company and its employees would be saved from retrenchment. They had signed over all the employees from the company to theirs on a 2-year contract to judge performance and determine who to keep and who not to. Win-win...only it wasn't really.

Bruce was in a board meeting and he was getting very very frustrated. The sales manager from the other company had been infuriating in his demands for more funding for his department - and suggested that the R&D, which had been allocated 7 million in funds, could spare them half a million or so. Tim had immediately gotten defensive, citing a breakdown of costs and arguing that 7 million was barely enough for them to scrape by. The financial department then stated that they were not willing to up the budget for the second half of the year and it had ended in a fighting match between Tim, the sales department head and the finance department head. Bruce had then stormed out of the meeting and told them to only call him in when the issue was settled. He really wanted to fire the guy - but it would be a breach of contract and he didn't want the dude to be able to laze off on payouts from WE. Where was Dick when he was needed? Sighing to himself, he sent a quick text to Dick to call him once he'd landed in Gotham. Dick had been sent on a business trip to Japan to oversee some troubles the Tokyo branch was having. He was due to land anytime soon. 5mins later, Dick called him "Hey dad, what's up?"  
"Hey chum, could you get here before Tim murders the new head of our sales department?"  
"Sure, I just landed. I can get there in 30mins. What happened?" Came Dick's reply.  
"I don't think you have 30mins. I'm arranging for a chopper to pick you up. They're fighting over the allocation of resources. Talk to you soon. Tim just stormed out."  
"That bad, huh? Be there to save all of you soon." Dick said. To be perfectly honest, Dick was absolutely drained after his flight and was pushing back a bubbling migraine. He sighed and quickly took some pills to stop the migraine in its tracks.  
"Mr Wayne? The helicopter is ready for you. Your luggage has been arranged to be sent back to the Manor." Came the voice of Dick's assistant, Jack.  
"Thanks Jack. Let's go." Dick said as he allowed Jack to guide him to where the helicopter was at. Sometimes it sucked that he couldn't be Nightwing in the day. 

BACK AT WE  
Tim had stormed out of the meeting, clearly agitated at the sales department head. He walked to his father's office and told himself to breathe before he murdered someone. He had been beyond pissed that the sales manager started to insult his department and his ability to lead! The sales manager would have nothing to sell if R&D wasn't that amazing at creating products! Sure they needed market research from Sales to see what the people wanted, but they could manage some pretty kick-ass products on their on! How much did they need to conduct research anyways? Not as much as coming up with state of the art products!  
Lucius sat in the meeting, feeling a headache forming. This new sales manager they had signed over from the small company they had absorbed was absolutely way in over his head. It just so happened that WE's previous head had retired, and Bruce thought it would be a good idea to let him take over - he was clearly qualified and the man was vicious - Good for WE when it came to promotion and sales, he was sure - but now he's not so sure anymore. The man had made Bruce and Tim storm out. The director of the financial department looked like she was about to cry. Silently, he sent a prayer and hoped that someone would be able to put a stop to this. His prayer was answered in the form of one Dick Grayson walking into the boardroom.  
"Hey hope I'm not interrupting or anything," Was what came out of Dick's mouth when he entered. Lucius was surprised, happy but also kinda worried. Happy because if anyone could deal with this, it would be Dick - the man was unbelievably patient and often knew how to resolve conflicts that ended with both parties being happy. Surprised and worried because he knew Dick had just been in Japan and probably only just returned to Gotham and was probably very tired. Dick made his way over to his usual VP seat and sat down, placing his collapsed cane on the table. The boardroom and the finance head had visibly calmed down - Dick was here, everything was going to be okay now.  
The sales manager, who was obviously still running on a high said: "What, kid couldn't handle me and sent in the blind gypsy trash to talk me out of getting my fundings?" The man wasn't stupid. He knew they were going to forcibly keep him in the position for at least 2 years - Mr Wayne made it obvious that he had no intentions of breaking their contract and paying him the monthly payouts. If he were to leave, it would be on his own accord. So until 2 years was up, he could do anything he wanted that didn't breach his contract - and not being an ableist asshat was not part of the contract. And if he was lucky - they may just decide to keep him as part of WE when they saw the magic he could do.  
A few audible gasps passed through the boardroom and Dick raised an eyebrow from behind his sunglasses at the direction of the sales manager "Carol, I would like it to be stated clearly in the meeting minutes that I was referred to as blind gypsy trash by our dear sales department head here. Alright. Now, let's start from the beginning and tell me why you need extra funding."  
"We need it to do market research! Not to mention, run PR campaigns, advertising and schedule regular press releases!" The sales manager repeated like a broken recorder.  
"What's the breakdown of your projected spendings for all that you have mentioned?"  
" I don't know the exact amount, but I can assure you it's more than 2 million dollars for half a year."  
"Oh? So you don't actually know how much you need? Have you read through the reports for previous semi-annums? Because I have. And if I remember correctly, the spendings have never reached 1.5 million. I understand that you are now running combined spendings, but if you can't give us a good estimate, why should we allow your funding to go through?" Dick questioned.  
"Look kid, I know you're the VP here and I've heard of your rep as a negotiator. But I'll make it clear once and for all, I've never lost a battle in negotiating what I deem to be the correct amount for my department. And I don't intend to give in to your tactics today. Im the head of sales, and I need 3 million in funding, and that's final. I don't need some kid to tell me how I should run my department." The sales manager said  
"I never said anything about telling you how to run your department. Thing is - until you can provide us with a good reason for needing that extra 1 million, the answer is no." Dick replied.  
"I just told you! 2 million isn't enough. I need 1 Million more to run what I want to run and if I can't get approval from finance to up the spending for this quarter then give it to me from somewhere else! R&D doesn't need so much! I don't even care where it's from. If you want me to do my job, give me my funding!" The sales manager replied.  
"Perhaps you are the one who doesn't want to do your job. You started off by insulting me today and then failed to provide the board with anything substantial to support your claim that 2 million isn't enough to fund your department when statistics and projection shows that it does. If you do not wish to do your job, you could have just started with that and we would have gladly accepted your resignation. There was absolutely no need for you to blow up when you realised that perhaps you are biting off bigger than you can chew." Dick commented.

30 minutes later...  
"Kid, I know you think you're smart and special but let me tell you this: you're not. I've been in this business longer than you were alive and I know the way to do my job. If you want this department to do its job, give us the funds." Was the sale manager's reply.  
"Yet your company had flopped miserably and WE has been gaining a 35% increase in revenue and 40% growth each year since I've taken the position of VP. I know my worth and contributions, but do you?" Came Dick's reply. He was feeling his migraine again. Making a move to rub his nose bridge and sighing, Dick continued, "How about this. You will go back and you will work on a projection for spendings for the sales department. You will get 2 million in spending and you will work with it. Send up the projections for approval before taking action or you will bear the costs. Only and only if you dried up all the funds before the end of the year will we reconsider your request for more funding. Is that acceptable?"

  
"Fine. I want it on record that you agreed to expand our funding if we dry up our funds." The sales manager complied, tired from all that arguing with Dick as well.   
"Good. Now that I believe this issue has been resolved, could someone please fetch Tim and Bruce in so that we can end this meeting soon? I'm severely jet-lagged and I would really like to go home and sleep but that can't happen if Bruce gets angry again." Dick said, directing a smile at the boardroom.

2 hours later and the meeting was finally concluded. Bruce, Lucius and Dick waited for everyone to clear the boardroom - they usually did that in case someone wanted to talk to all 3 of them in private about something. Tim was probably waiting in Bruce's office for them so that they could go for dinner together. However, as Bruce and Lucius stood up to leave, they noticed that Dick had not moved from his spot at all.

"Hey Dick, we can go now." Bruce said, turning over to face his son. Noticing something was off about Dick, Bruce placed his hand on Dick's shoulder and said "Chum? Something wrong? You look very pale." Dick was still not responding - just blankly staring ahead. "Dick?" Lucius asked softly, while Bruce knelt down to look at Dick, concern etched on his face - the day had probably tired him - 17 hours of flight from Japan to Gotham probably whacked him out of rhythm, not to mention that he then came over to solve a crisis for them, and then proceeded to sit through 2 hours of meeting. Suddenly, Dick's body collapsed and his head hit the table with a sickening thud. Bruce quickly removed Dick's sunglasses and moved Dick into recovery position "Lucius, can you help me get Tim in here? And call Leslie!"

Checking his pulse, Bruce was glad to find that Dick's heart was not beating irregularly, and that Dick was still breathing. His head over, had started bleeding due to the sudden impact to the desk. Tim quickly ran in and seeing Dick on the floor bleeding, asked "What happened?"

"I'm not sure. I suspect he had a Atonic seizure of sorts- he was staring blankly into space and not responding to us. Then suddenly, his body collapsed and his head hit the table. I need you to check his sleeping schedule and quality - it's highly likely that this was bought on by lack of sleep and the difference in time that his body is trying to adjust to." Sighing softly, he muttered "Should have gotten him to go back after the situation was resolved."

"Yeah Bruce, I think you're right. It was probably his sleep schedule - do you know how long he was staring into space for? That seems to be something that he does every time before he gets a seizure - if we can time it, I might be able to get the watch to alert someone if it predicts a seizure happening." Tim said, frowning "This is bad - if we can't do anything about it Nightwing might have to be grounded permanently - what if he suddenly collapses in the middle of a fight? Or worse, when he's jumping over roofs."

"We'll have to ask Leslie to see what can be done." Bruce replied, softly stroking Dick's head. Just them, Dick came to, slowly opening his eyes "Urnghh"

"Hey handsome, welcome back to the land of the living." Bruce said.

"What- Where- Am I on the floor, Bruce?" Dick asked, attempting to sit up. He very quickly decided that it wasn't a good idea - his head spinned in protest and he quickly brought a hand up to try and stop the pain- only for his hand to come into contact with what felt like blood "Why am I bleeding?"

Bruce helped him back onto the floor slowly, saying "You hit your head on the table. How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been thrown into a wall. Wait, you said table? Are we still in the meeting room? Did I doze off suddenly in the middle of the meeting and hit my head on the desk? Urgh that's embarrassing" Dick said.

"No Dick, the meeting already ended. Bruce was trying to get you to move when you blanked out on him and then hit the table - we suspected you had a atonic seizure of sorts" came Tim's voice from his left.

"Aw fuck. Can my day get any better?" Dick joked from the floor.

"Not if you count Leslie visiting as the equivalent of the plague!" Tim replied, teasing.

"I heard that!" Came Leslie's voice as she walked in with Lucius "What happened?" Leslie asked as she set her medical bag on the floor, moving to take out her sphygmomanometer to measure Dick's BP. Bruce repeated what happened to Leslie again - from Japan till Dick's head hitting the table.

"Your BP is very low Dick. Since this was a once off event, I can't say for sure that it’s a Atonic seizure. For now, I would say that this happened because of his low blood pressure and lack of proper sleep." Leslie said, moving to bandage Dick's injury.

Bruce, the ever concerned father quickly asked "How about his zoning out? He's never done that before and Tim mentioned that it seemed to be something that he would do every time before a seizure happened."

"Yes Bruce, but he's only ever had a grand total of 3 seizures so far- all of them tonic seizures. This is an outlier and while him getting an Atonic seizure is probable, I'm telling you that it's not. Low blood pressure can result in zoning outs and lack of concentration as well. I'm sure you know this, but let me remind you that it's not the first time Dick has collapsed from exhaustion or low blood pressure. If I'm not wrong, his low blood pressure is due to a combination of side effects from his antidepressants and exhaustion from flying from Japan and then sitting through a boardroom meeting. He overexerted himself again is all." Leslie, dearly beloved-long suffering doctor explained. "Alright Dick, I'm gonna have to shine a torch into your eyes to test for reflexes and see if you have a concussion. Stay still. Good. You don't have a concussion. Get some rest Dick, that's probably going to give you one hell of a migraine later. And No extra circular activities for tonight. Try to take it easy with your day job as well." Leslie said as she packed up and left.

"Hah! Hear that Lucius! You guys need to stop working me so hard!" Dick said from the floor.

"You're the one that obsessively reads and re-reads documents to find problems with them," Bruce said, frowning.

"Not to mention the only person I know who memorizes profits and projections from every single department," Lucius added "Most people just flip to the relevant page when they need it"

Dick snorted when the two of them said that "If I hadn't been so OCD about finding fault, we would have missed that one of our departments was over-reporting projections and under producing - it would have screwed with our budgeting and financing. Memorizing projections and profit margins has its benefits ya know. Plus do you know how difficult it is to have to flip through pages of braille just to find the correct page? It's not like I could just flip through pages until I saw that it landed on a pie chart when I wanted to. Even with Jake helping me label the segments, I still have to go through the headings page by page until it’s the correct portion, then pinpoint where the report is most likely going to be at to find the relevant information. And this here is the reason why I wanted everyone to email me the documents instead of print them out and get them filed. At least on the computer you could just control+F to find what you want."

"Dude that sucks" Tim said.

"Yeah, no shit. Good thing I have a absurd memory that lets me memorize just about anything I want to" Dick replied.

Lucius and Bruce frowned - they hadn't considered what Dick had said before. When Dick mentioned getting people to send him emails instead of sending up the files in braille, they had told him that it was a bad idea as people could hack the email and gain access to confidential information without leaving a paper trail. Dick hadn't pressed them or explained his rationale so they chucked it off to the side.

"I'll see what we can do about it" Lucius spoke up first.

"Chum, if you had trusted us with this problem earlier, we would have done something." Bruce agreed.

"Eh, it's not really that important - plus, I kinda enjoy memorising the stuff - it's useful to quote off hand. Did you hear how shocked the Sales manager was when I quoted past spending and projections correctly at him just now? Oh wait, you didn't the two of you were outside trying not to murder someone. Uncle L did though, right? Gotta admit its cool when I do that." Dick said - trying to make the 2 man feel less bad. Technically it wasn't their fault. They never had to live in a world where they couldn't use their sight and probably didn't think twice about things like that. It was just one of the many barriers and inconvenience that he faced in his daily life as Dick Grayson.

"It's true - I saw many members of the board looking at you in shock when they checked their notes and realised you quoted it perfectly." Lucius chuckled back a smile.

"Alright, come on let's move you from the floor. I want dinner." Tim spoke, moving to plant himself beside Dick. With practiced ease, he nudged Dick's left hand to let him know where he was, before hauling him up.

"Oof not feeling the aster man" Dick said as he felt his world tilt. "Yeah well you can only kiss your bed if we get you home." Tim teased. 

"Oh man have you been spending to much time with Jason? You're starting to sound like him." Dick joked, letting Tim guide him out of the meeting room, with Bruce and Lucius following behind.

"Yeah well you've been spending so much time with the demon brat that I've had to turn to other sources for older brother wisdom and emotional support." Tim bantered with good humor.

"What? You replaced me with Jay? I'm wounded Timmy. Wounded." Dick replied, pausing before he turned to face Tim "Hey Tim, I'll always have time for you. You know that, right?"

"Course Dick, you're the best big bro anyone could have asked for. You're high in demand, you know that?" pause "You're doing good with the demon, Dick. He's been less murdery and more kid like these days." Tim said, feeling somewhat guilty about being jealous - the kid had never grew up with a loving environment and Dick could give that to him - then again, Tim himself wouldn't call neglect from his parents a loving environment either.  Logically, he knew that he was 16 and Dick had showered him with love and attention for the past 3 years - which was technically 3 years more than the demon brat. But still, he felt a longing for Dick's warm embrace when he had nightmares and couldn't sleep. These days, he would walk into Dick's room only to see his spot being taken by Damian. Dick had told him his bed was big enough to cuddle with two brothers but Tim had refused. He was not going to talk about his feelings when the demon was there. No. So he went to Jason, who was surprisingly cuddly and nice to him when he wasn't awake enough - although they would always promise not to say anything the next day. Ever since the demon appeared in their lives, Tim's bond with Jason had gotten better, and Jason hardly ever called him Replacement anymore - and if he did, it was usually teasing. Not full of hatred and anger like when they had first met.

"Timmy? You listening to me?" Dick asked. That was when Tim realised that they had somehow made it to the lift with Bruce standing next to him.

"Huh? Not really. You're getting naggy Dick. Turning into a grandpa before 25 is an accomplishment. Congrats" Tim replied. Bruce sniggered from where he was standing and Tim decided to make fun of Bruce as well. Despite all that had happened, he decided that today was a good day. As the doors of the lift opened, Tim dragged Dick into a quick jog to their car. Dick let out a yelp at the sudden movement as Tim turned around to say: "You too old man. You're getting slow! Catch up!"

 

Dick laughed and Bruce replied "Let's see if this old man can catch up with you two!" as he sprinted into a jog as well.


	15. Parenting?

As they entered Wayne Manor, Alfred greeted them. Seeing the bandage around Dick's forehead, Alfred commented "My word, Master Dick. And which wall did you walk into this time?"

"He didn't take care of himself and fainted after our meeting, hitting his head on the table," Tim said - attempting to shit-stir and get Dick in trouble with Alfred for not taking care of himself.

"Hey! I fly 17 hours back to Gotham to help save your R&D department and this is how you repay me?" Dick said, throwing his best Batglare at Tim. Tim snorted - it was funny. Dick was trying to look angry but his glare missed Tim and was instead directed at Bruce's shoulder. "What?" Dick asked

"If looks could kill Bruce's shoulder would most definitely be very injured right now," Tim replied between fits of giggles.

Dick gave an audible gasp and attempted to look as insulted as possible "What happened to the real Tim and who are you? Are you Jason parading around in a Tim costume?"

From the side, another voice joined the conversation "tt. Drama Queens. Pennyworth, may we start dinner? I am hungry."

"Indeed Master Damian. Dinner shall be served once your brothers carry themselves like the respectable gentleman they should be." Alfred replied as he stalked off.

"Come on boys, let's go before Alfred burns our dinner on purpose," Bruce said, and all three of them shivered at the memory of the time Alfred burnt and overcooked all their food on purpose when they were late for dinner.

"Hey Dami! How was your day?" Dick asked as they made their way over.

"It was mundane. How did yours go Grayson, Father?" Damian asked, purposely not including Tim in his question. Nope, he was not interested in Drake's day. Not at all.

"You know, I was in the office too," Tim said

"tt. I am aware of it Drake. I merely did not bother to include you in my question. I find it inefficient to ask questions that I do not want the answers to." Damian replied - only for Dick to whack his head "That's not nice, Damian." Dick said, giving Damian a frown. Seeing the frown, Damian realised what he needed to do.

Sighing, he slowly said "I apologise for my uncouth behaviour, Drake. How did your day go?"

"Thank you, Damian. Now to answer your question, the highlight of the day was when Dick hit his head on a meeting table!" Tim replied.

A new voice reached their ears as they reached the dining room "Aw, Dickiehead hit his head on the table? So cute."

"Thank you all for making fun of me fainting. I appreciate it a lot. Really. The best brothers in the universe. I'm so touched." Dick responded, rolling his eyes - it was something that he did unconsciously when he was irritated or frustrated at someone. Bruce sighed - he enjoyed nights like this when they could all sit together without murdering each other.

Just then, Alfred the mighty walked in with Dick's Business Jacket in his hands. "Master Dick, where did you leave your white cane? It is not in your business suit. Might I remind you what dire consequences that could have if you had lost it?"

Dick looked at Alfred with wide eyes, quickly patting down his pant pockets. "Are you sure it's not in the blazer, Alf?"

"Absolutely positive"

There was a pause as Dick ran through the day's events in his head "It's in the tower's meeting room! I left it on the table."

"And why is it not by your side, Master Dick?" Alfred questioned.

That's when Bruce spoke up "I uh, I might have forgotten to take it with me when we were clearing out the room. Tim had Dick with him and we just wanted to go home so I forgot to grab it on the way out. I'll give them a call to make sure they don't throw it away?" Bruce asked, cowering under Alfred's gaze.

"That would be very nice of you, Master Bruce. I presume that you will make sure Master Dick doesn't do anything stupid such as run down the stairs or walk into anything tomorrow until you have retrieved the cane." Alfred concluded. The punishment that he would receive from Alfred if he let anything happen to Dick tomorrow until Dick had his trusty cane by his side left unsaid.

Jason saw Damian frowning and asked "Sup' Lil' Demon? Why the pouty face?"

"I am not pouting, Todd. I am merely wondering what the consequence Pennyworth spoke of could be." Damian replied. "Oh, that's a story involving Bruce as well," Dick said, recalling the events.

 

"It happened when we were out buying gifts for Alfred. Bruce had offered to go with Dick so the rest of us split up to see what gifts we could get Alfred. There were a lot of people in the mall and Dick had his cane out so that people didn't walk into him, cause you know, people are assholes. They had gone into a store that sold scarves and Dick wanted to get Alfred a scarf. So, he handed Bruce his white cane to hold while the sales assistant let him feel the material so that he could choose which he preferred. Bruce, ever the genius, had collapsed Dick's cane for him and left it on the display as he looked at scarfs too. Finally satisfied, Dick chose a scarf and got Bruce to pick the design. Then they walked out of the store with the scarf in Dick's hand - you know, the one that he usually holds his cane in. Then, they went into the next shop where Bruce wanted to buy Alfred some cooking ceramics. After grabbing what he wanted, the two of them left the shop and met us for lunch. After lunch, we all went back and as usual, Alfred would remove the cane that Dick usually kept in his jacket's pocket to place it where Dick always left his cane, only for him to realise that it was not there.  So naturally, Alfred asked Dick where it was. And between Dick and Bruce, they took a long time figuring out when Dick had last used it and finally Bruce remembered what he had done, to the horror of Alfred and Dick. See, it was a huge disaster as Dick didn't have the habit of keeping spares and the shop couldn't find the cane and thought it was possible someone had stolen it - who would steal a mobility aid like that's just weird. But anyways the real disaster was that there was this fancy event that Dick and Bruce were due to grace as VIPs and he couldn't just cancel but for all of Bruce's money, the new cane would still take 2 days to come and Dick couldn't cancel. So Bruce offered to guide Dick around to make up for being stupid sand Dick was, well, pissed cause now he had to rely on Bruce if he wanted to go anywhere at all and basically lost his right to go anywhere on his own at the event. The event went about as well as expected - Bruce lost Dick after he had gone up to give a speech and he had also allowed Dick to walk into a waiter, a door frame and break his ankle from falling off the stairs. Dick was stuck on bed rest for 3 days nursing the ankle. Alfred refused to cook for Bruce, citing his need to take care of Dick. So yeah, in summary, don't trust Bruce and don't lose the cane or Alfred will hound you." Tim said as Dick and Bruce both mused at their own memories of the event.

 

Jason snorted "I don't understand how people see these two and think they're a dynamic duo. It's really a lot more like, Disaster Duo."

 

"Disaster Duo indeed, Master Jason," Alfred said, popping up like the wizard he was, with their food ready.

 

"How do you lose a grown man like Grayson, Father?" Damian asked, hiding his own smile at his Father.

Bruce blushed and embarrassed, he explained "Well, everyone was wearing black tuxs and there was this person who was about the same height and build as your brother and I accidentally grabbed him instead of Dick at the event. Not my best moment. Everyone probably thought I was already drunk before the event even started."

 

"You would think that Dick would have learnt from his lesson and gotten extra canes in the event this happened again but no he doesn't have any so we shall see how many things Bruce lets Dick walk into tomorrow." Jason teased.

 

"I say 4 - the plant in the lobby, the overgrown plant outside Dick's office, the bin on the floor in the hallway to their office and the bench outside the meeting room," Tim said.

 

"I think Bruce will let me walk into more than that - maybe 8? All that Tim mentioned, with the addition of letting my shoulder hit the door frame of the lift, trip on the pocket of air in the carpet in the lobby, hit someone else's poorly parked car with my leg and forget to mention that the floor is wet and make me slip and fall." Dick said, joining the bet.

 

"I'm not that bad, am I?" Bruce asked.

"Yes" chorused his 3 boys, as Damian looked on in - was that amusement on his face? Well if Damian was amused, then he could take any amount of ridicule his boys wanted to throw at him. Maybe he's finally getting this parenting thing done right.


	16. Carnival

Tonight, they were at a fundraising event held by the Association of the Visually Handicapped, held in association with Wayne Enterprises. Jason had been roped in by Dick to organize the events - Jason really didn't know what qualities Dick saw in him. Dick on the other hand, as well as Bruce and Lucius, were all very happy that he had agreed - he had done a good job in setting up and planning the event. Instead of it being like one of those high-society parties they were constantly attending, this event was similar to that of a carnival - only that it was held in a ballroom of the association. The association and Jason had gone the extra mile to ensure that the whole area was easily accessible and family friendly. There were many activities for families to take part in, including a darkened room where the sighted could go in and explore the world as a visually handicapped person. It was a scaled down version of their "dialogue in the Dark" exhibition. WE was only involved as they had long been a huge supporter and funder to the activities that the association. Tonight was not just a fund-raiser, it was also a thank you gala for the volunteers, as well as a time for families of those who were helped by the association to come and enjoy the activities they had planned.

Damian found himself very interested in the room and insisted that Drake accompany him. Father and Grayson were busy talking with some people, and since Todd was one of the people overseeing the night, he wasn't available. Damian begrudgingly found himself asking Drake - he didn't want to go in alone. Grayson would be proud of him - he was always telling Damian about how it was okay to be a kid and want someone to accompany him. Drake gave him a smile and readily agreed, saying something about how he was glad the demon was so empathetic when it came to Dick. He was confused. He was not doing this for Grayson - was he? He had merely wanted to know what life was like for Grayson and see what he could do to make the situation easier - he did not like that Grayson was so willingly dependent on Todd and Drake when they were in a unfamiliar environment in their civilian identities. Grayson had assured him repeatedly that he could handle himself just fine even without Todd and Drake, just that he didn't like having to do so if he could help it as it was very emotionally draining. Whatever that meant. Seeing that they were the Wayne boys, the volunteers allowed them priority queuing and VIP treatment - they did not want to put them together with the rest of those visiting for fear of a lawsuit if their photos were taken illegally. Soon, Damian found himself holding onto a white cane as their guide, a visually impaired volunteer explained to the two of them how to use the cane. Then, they walked into a totally dark room. Squint as Damian may, he could not see a thing. Their guide asked them if they knew where they were supposed to be. Extending his senses, he could smell trees and there were the sounds of birds chirping and children playing in a playground nearby - he assumed it to be coming from a speaker somewhere. Sensing that Drake was not going to speak up, he said "A garden or park of some sorts". The guide told him that he was correct, and they were in a environment that mimics a park. As they were walking, the guide gave them a explanation of what they one generally expects in a park and what they should look out for - children running about, people standing around randomly, litter on the floor, weirdly placed benches, pavements with sharp turns, protruding tree roots over the path etc. Of course, there weren't kids running around in the room, but there were wax models of humans standing around, litter on the floor that could trip them if they weren't careful, which was confirmed by the sound of Drake falling down - "tt. Drake what did you trip on." Damian asked, ready to ridicule his useless brother "I uh- I have no idea. My cane hit something but it rolled away so I thought it was fine but then I still stepped on it and I fell?"

Their guide quickly asked "Are you okay, Mr Wayne? Would you like to stop or continue with the tour?"  

"Eh, I'm fine. Just a small trip. I'm not injured or anything." Tim replied, trying to face the origin of the voice. He thought his Robin training would have helped him with being more aware of his surroundings, and had not expected himself to fall down because of litter on the floor. He felt a hand - probably the guide's - around him helping him up to steady him. "Thanks. Don't know how you guys do this. Also, please, call me Tim," Tim said.

"This is just the beginning Tim, a walk in the park if you must. Wait till we try and cross the street." The guide joked. Curious, he asked "Isn't your eldest brother blind? From what I've heard one of you are always around to guide him. How did you end up letting a can trip you? I would have thought that you would know what to look out for."

"I was tripped by a can? That's embarrassing. Also yeah, Dick's blind too. Been since he was born. It's different though, guiding him and actually doing this." Tim replied. "tt. That's because you're positively useless at everything, Drake." Damian said - somewhat worried that they had forgotten about him.

"I'm not useless at everything you little demon!" Tim said as the group continued to make their way through the park. "Alright guys, as much as I love listening to the two of you banter, we're reaching the middle of the park - there's going to be more people here as well as weirdly placed benches and those sharp turning paths I've mentioned. Go ahead and explore the area a little, and see if you can make it to the other side of the park where there's a crossing waiting. I'll be there! Just give a little shout if you're lost or need help and I'll come okay?" The guide said. Both boys replied "yeah" before splitting and setting off exploring. Damian slowly made his way around the park and was proud that he had only walked into one wax figurine thus far. Letting his senses explore the space, he realised that they had put in a lot of effort into making this seem as real as possible. Some of the figurines had speakers that played some form of conversation, and the room smelled like trees and occasionally there was the sound of leaves falling or rustling. There was also the sound of children playing and running about. It was some kind of surround sound, Damian thought to himself - it was very real and he had to force himself to not flinch when the sounds of children approached him - logically, he knew the kids were not going to hit him since there were no actual kids around but he couldn't help it. Mother would be so disappointed in his self-control. As he walked, he could hear the sounds of a busy traffic junction and he slowly made his way over in the direction so that he could find the guide. To his dismay, his cane had stopped hitting the concrete ground, but instead something soft. He knelt down to try and figure out what it was - synthetic grass. Sighing to himself, he remembered the guide saying that the paths would bend sharply and roads would end in the middle of nowhere. He turned around and continued on the path - which he knew was a path because it was concrete and the cane actually gave feedback, unlike when it hit the grass. He was getting frustrated - he knew where the traffic junction was. He could hear it. The only problem was that there was no path and he couldn't just walk on the grass! He found himself losing his patience and hitting the ground with the cane using more force than necessary.

Suddenly, he tripped over a protruding tree root that had forced the concrete ground into unevenness. Thankfully, he managed to catch himself by grabbing onto the tree instead of face planting. The problem now was that in his rush to stop himself from falling, he had dropped the cane. He found himself sighing for the second time in the day as he carefully knelt down to find the cane. After 3 minutes or so, he finally found where it had rolled to. He had been lucky that he pinpointed the suspected direction correctly- if it had rolled off somewhere else, he may have to call for help. Standing up, he found that he was confused and did not know which direction he should be going anymore. Tutting, he found his way back onto the pavement and tried to walk in the direction thought the traffic junction would be at. To his dismay, he found himself somewhere halfway from the original direction he had come from, and he quickly turned around and made his way in the other direction. He will not let Drake win. No. Technically it wasn't a competition since none of them said anything but it was Drake, so he had to get there first so that he could rub it in Drake's face. After what felt like an eternity and having to turn every so often to stay on the path, Damian finally made it to the traffic junction.

To his dismay, Drake was already there and engaged in a conversation with their guide. "What was the guy even doing, just standing there?" Came Tim's voice. Huh. That sounded familiar. He remembered Dick saying that to Todd when Drake had gone to get ice cream while they were at the park. Todd had not been paying attention and allowed Dick to walk into a person - which Damian thought was weird. When people saw Dick and his white cane, they parted like Moses parting the sea. Dick had explained that he had the cane out when someone was guiding him so that other people knew that he was blind and wouldn't walk or bump into him or expect him to move out of the way. "Well, there's a variety of reasons. He could have been taking a photo, or calling someone, or using his phone, or just standing there so he could breathe in the air. People do that a lot." The guide explained. "Hey, kid! How was your experience?" The guide addressed Damian. "It was interesting." Damian said.  The guide clapped his hands once and said "Alright then, we're going to try and cross this road now. Beyond this road is your road back to the carnival! Okay, so who can tell me what we should look out for before crossing the road?" Tim replied "Cars". "Correct, but not just cars, we need to look out for cyclists who like to cycle on the road as well. Usually, at controlled traffic junctions like this one, there's a pole that makes a beeping sound like the one you hear. Now, your job is to find the button and press it so that we can wait for the traffic to turn in our favour." Damian heard Tim shuffling and decided to let Drake do it. The sound of a button being pressed reached their ears and they stood in comfortable silence waiting for a signal that they can cross. The beeping sound quickened and the guide told them that it was safe to cross now. The surround speakers had done a very good job of playing sounds of cars braking to a stop.

As they crossed the junction, Damian's cane hit something metallic. Not knowing what was going on, He asked the guide "What did I just hit? Why is there a barrier preventing me from taking further steps?" "That is a centre divider. Hitting that means that you were not walking in a straight line across the junction, but instead walked diagonally and missed the opening to the other end of the junction.  You should be able to make your way over to us if you take a few steps to your right." The guide replied. True to his words, Damian soon found the opening and continued to make his way to where the pair was standing. "Alright, guys that's the end of the exhibition, just a few more steps to the outside world! How do you feel?" The guide said.

"I feel positively exhausted," Damian replied, somewhat understanding why Dick didn't enjoy going out alone now. It was so tiring trying to figure out stuff! And they were in a closed environment with no one else! There are so much more obstacles in the real world. He could finally see light and he can't wait to return to his sighted environment, where he could observe threats and dangers.

"You know, for once, I agree with the demon. That was very draining. I wonder if there's anything else that can be done to improve your daily experience." Tim said, turning to face their guide.

"Just keep doing what you and your family have already been doing. Wayne Enterprises' research and funding have helped a lot in the areas of accessibility. The refreshable braille 7-inch display by Wayne Tech was one of the best things I've ever owned when it comes to accessing information on the computer. I'm very glad and honoured to have been given this chance to give you the tour and meet you, Tim, Mr Wayne." The guide said, nodding at both Tim and Damian. They were back in the carnival now. Their guide walked away to receive the next group of visitors and Tim felt himself soaking in the vibrant colours and light around him. The, he was hit with a sudden pang of guilt - He could just walk in and pretend to be blind for a while and come out on the other end with no long term repercussions- but this was Dick's daily life. There was no out for him and he just has to make do with it. Looking over, next to him, Damian was sulking as well - probably over the same thing he was feeling

"You feeling it too huh, Damian?" Tim asked

"tt. I do not feel the same emotions as you do Drake." pause "How can I tell him that he's amazing?"

"You could just go up and tell him that. I think I will be doing that too. That was one of the scariest experiences of my life - and I feel bad that I can just borrow his life for a few moments then come out on the other end, knowing that that is not the life I live."

"It does put things in perspective, doesn't it?" Damian replied, looking up at Drake he continued, "we're not good brothers."

"Why would you say that?" Tim asked

"We should have done this sooner. If I had been more aware of what it was like, I would have done more! I would never have allowed Todd to walk Dick into the man in the park. It was an absolutely terrible experience to walk into someone" Damian replied.

"What? Jason allowed Dick to walk into a man? I thought only Bruce was capable of doing that!" Tim responded.

"The imbecile was texting and talking to Dick so he wasn't looking either," Damian explained.

Just then, both brothers caught sight of Dick, who was with Bruce, talking to another group of people. Damian bit his lip and looked up at Drake, who gave him a soft and encouraging nod. Damian quickly ran up to where Dick was and hugged him

"I love you, Grayson."

Dick was very confused but he turned his head slightly to look at Damian - Damian was only up to his waist level so he couldn't really hug Damian while standing up. Wrapping his arms around Damian's shoulder, he softly said "I love you too kiddo. Now, what bought out this sudden outburst of emotions from you hmm?"

"No hugs for me Damian?" Bruce asked from the side. There was a crowd slowly gathering as everyone smiled, watching the little kid hug his brother.

"No. Grayson is more amazing than you are," Damian mumbled from where he was hugging Dick. Bruce looked up and saw Tim making his way over, a soft smile on his face. Deciding that asking his youngest was useless, he turned to Tim "What happened? Who broke him?"

Dick looked up in Tim's direction as well as Tim said "We went into the mini dialogue in the dark. It was- an eye opening experience."

Confused, Dick asked "Dialogue in the dark? What's that?" Damian's hold on Dick tightened when Tim started explaining what they had just done. After he was done, Tim looked very emotional but the look was lost on Dick. Bruce, like the Very Responsible Parent he liked to think he was, recognized that that meant Tim would like to speak to Dick alone - so he told Damian "Come on, Damian, I have some business friends I would like to introduce you to." Damian reluctantly released his hold on Dick and followed his father.

"I'm sorry, Dick" was the first thing that came out of Tim's mouth. Dick frowned slightly - he hated pity, and he didn't need it from his brothers as well. "What are you sorry about?"

"That I can't make it better. That all these barriers that most of us don't even think twice about exists, and you have to deal with it all the time but I could just try it for 30 minutes and then come out and pretend that it didn't happen. That I don't even do much to try and solve any of it and my help is limited to creating some fancy gadgets for you - there's so much wrong and all I did was design some big refreshable tablet and this person even thanked me for it but there's so much that can be done and -"

"Hey. Hey Tim. Don't say that. Don't say that about yourself okay. You do help. And you have made a difference. We can't all carry the faults of the world on our backs. Change happens one step at a time. The very fact that you are standing in front of me feeling upset is as good a sign as any to tell me that you do care, and you won't forget the experience you just had for a long time. Believe me. You do help. So much. You don't have to agree to drive me to Starbucks every time I want to go there but you do - you could just let me walk into things all the time but you go out of your way to make sure that I don't, and that's a lot more than what many people do. You take time off to spend it with me, to make sure that I don't have to go through all that frustration every time, to make sure that you can make it easier and that counts Timmy, that counts. I can't even begin to tell you how grateful I am to have all of you by my side to help me with all these things that people don't think twice about. So, don't ever think that about yourself ever again, okay?" Dick said as he pulled Tim into a long hug.

"Dick let go people are looking"

"So what? I can't see them anyways"

"I can"

"That's too bad. You're going to stand here and let me hug the stuffings out of you Timmy." a pause "Thank you."

"What for, I haven't done anything"

"No, you've done a lot of things. So thank you for being there for me when I need you. Thank you for seeing me as me. Thank you for being such a great brother. Now, just enjoy the love and shut up."

"Okay, you can let go now. This is getting embarrassing" Tim said after a long moment. Dick let go and ruffled his hair. "Hey! I spent a lot of time styling it today!" Tim said.

"That's fine, you're still handsome to me!" Dick replied "Come on, let's go find Damian and Dad. I wonder if Dad has managed to stop him from sending death glares to everyone who calls him a kid or cute."

Tim let out a chuckle of his own as he offered Dick his arm and they set off to search for Bruce and Damian.

They had walked around, occasionally stopping to engage in conversation with people they recognised. When Tim finally spotted Bruce and Damian, he also spotted Jason making his way up on stage, and informed Dick of what he saw. "Let's go to dad," Dick said, and Tim lead them over to where Bruce and Damian were standing. Tim noticed that Damian was holding something in his hands.

"Grayson, I have created something for you. I hope that you find it satisfactory" Damian said as the duo approached. "Oh? Describe it to me" Dick said, offering Damian a gentle smile.

"I am sure that you know of this artwork already. Father had assured me that you did. I was informed that this is called tactile art. You can feel it." Damian replied, tapping Dick's left hand - a signal for Dick to hold out his hand. He then proceeded to pass it to Dick, saying "I used an assortment of felt material, ribbons, twine and pebbles to recreate Vincent Van Gogh's Starry Starry Night. The pebbles that you are feeling now is the town square. If you move further up the painting, you will feel the ribbons. The direction of the ribbon mimics the rolling hills that Van Gogh saw from his room in his asylum. To your left, you will feel a cypress tree made of twines. I have also used layering of ribbons and twines to mimic Van Gogh's Brushstrokes for the night sky. The felt that you feel are representative of the stars. The largest one that is layered on the top right corner is the moon. There are 3 different layers of felt to mimic the three different shades that Van Gogh used to contrast the moon against the night sky." Pausing, Damian looked up to study Grayson. His fingers were slowly tracing everything that Damian had described, and despite the fact that half of his face was hidden behind his aviators, he looked very surprised. Sensing that Damian was done with his explanation, Dick offered Damian a smile and said softly "Thanks Dami, it's very nice of you to do this."

"I merely wished to share the joys of Van Gogh's paintings with you in a way that you could enjoy. I am glad that you like it."

"Like? Aw Dami I love this!"

"And it looks very visually appealing as well" Drake added from the side, giving Damian a smile of his own.

"tt. Of course, Drake. Not everyone is as terrible as you are when it comes to creating art." Damian responded without heat.

"You know what, I'm getting someone to frame this and put it in my office," Dick said, the proud smile still on his face.

"22 and turning into a proud mom already Chum?" Bruce joked and Tim laughed. Just then, the organizer invited Bruce Wayne up on stage to give a few words. Jason had not informed Bruce that he had to prepare a speech! He had either forgot or this was a last minute thing. Bruce dismissed the thought when he saw Jason smirking at him. He was out to get his old man tonight! Deciding that he wasn't go to let himself be embarrassed on his own, he dragged Dick up there with him. "Dad! Why me!" Dick whined - sadly for Dick, the whine was picked up by the mics and the audiences chuckled at the casual display of affection between the two. "Hey! I hope you've all been enjoying the night so far. I know I have! As you all know, Wayne Enterprises has always been very supportive of the activities that the association has been holding. However, no amount of money that we can donate can beat the hard work and efforts of each and everyone one of the volunteers and family members. A big thank you to them! I will be honest will everyone here tonight, I was not prepared to give a speech - so instead of a speech, you will be hearing me recount a conversation I had with Dick the other night. It had been a long day at work -and for those of you who aren't aware, Dick's blind too. He started working for my company a while back - but even having his father as CEO doesn't help protect him from ableists trying to undermine his authority. Ever since Dick joined, the company has been performing even better and he executed his job to perfection - but his presence had upset some of our older executives - who may or may not have been pinning for the position of Vice President. Upset that a young 20 year old had upstaged their chances at climbing the corporate ladder even further, they had said some very unsavory remarks about him and then told him that disabled people like himself should just stay at home and let someone else to do the work for them. I'm sure many of you here tonight are familiar, or have even been on the receiving end of comments like that." Bruce paused as mummers of agreement rose through the audience

" Well, I was ready to fire the few of them, but Dick here stopped me. As you're all wondering, Why? Why stop me from firing a few ableists who had just insulted him? Unfazed by the comments, he had assured me that it was not the worst he's ever received, and it was not worth it to fire some of our best performing employees because of their tasteless remarks. What Dick had said to me after, I never forgot - and I believe that the whole boardroom that day didn't either.  He patiently explained to me, as well as everyone else in the company who had been questioning his abilities _on the basis that he was blind_ that while yes, he hasn't let the comments get to him, they were hurtful and had indeed made him angry and frustrated. He told everyone that he's only a human - and he will get tired when facing persistent barriers - that he has his own needs too. He said that he was lucky that for the most part, people around him understood that, and changed their values and attitudes to make room for him and what he brings to the table as a person. And for those who do continue to hold him to a standard that they would never hold themselves to - then no number of words from him was going to change that. Being blind - it doesn't, and shouldn't be the premise of which people judge the abilities of others- it just is what it is. Another way of existing in the world." Bruce paused as the audience applauded.

"Yeah, it hit me very deeply as well. That night when we went home, I asked him how he dealt with all the frustration and the barriers that he constantly faced all the time. You wanna tell them what you told me that night chum?" Bruce turned to face Dick, asking. Dick shook his head no and Bruce took it as his cue to continue

"Well, he doesn't want to tell you what he said. Don't worry. I will." Bruce paused as the audience laughed "That night, he told me that he was grateful for who he became and where he is now in life. He told me that he had often wondered how many others like him had failed to be at the places where they were supposed to be at because they did not have the guidance to understand how to sneak past a system stacked against them. That because their hearts had broken prematurely _from the feeling that their persistence will never pay off, from starting to believe the constant barrage of hate and doubt launched against them_. He was grateful for everything that he had gone through - every battle he fought, he had emerged victorious. That every time he became frustrated, he thought about those who were never given the same favourable circumstances as he had - and it was reason enough to be thankful that at least he had made it this far - for people to question his abilities _not because he was bad at his job - but because he was so good that the only thing that they could use against him was his blindness_." Bruce smiled, before continuing

"He would persist on because he had to be an example that others could look to, a sign that their persistence and hard work will pay off. He shared with me that growing up - apart from Stevie Wonder or Andrea Bocelli - he never had anyone else that he knew was blind he could to look to. The existing trope was that blind people were either musicians or masseurs - and both were not his interest. All his life, he had to hold himself to the level of sighted people - if I could go through 100 stacks of business documents in a day - then so could he. If Jason managed to finish all his homework in 2 hours, then so would he. If his best friend could finish reading treasure island in a day, then so would he. If said best friend managed to get a black belt in Taekwondo, then so could he - and he did. He would put in two to three times the effort and force himself to match up to the abilities of those around himself. I asked him - isn't that tiring? Forcing yourself to match up to the speed of everyone else? He smiled and told me, Dad, growing up, I believed that if I expect people to treat me like a normal person, if I want people to stop coddling me,  then I would have to match up to their standards of normal. If it means that I have to put in 3 times as much effort to catch up, then I'd do it. Growing up, there wasn't a blind Bill Gates or blind Warren Buffet for me - how was I to know how much effort I had to put in if I wished to accomplish what I wanted in life? I'm glad that I had that mentality - it really pushed me to where I am today. Although, it wouldn't have been possible without your help and guidance all these years. " Bruce paused, looking at the audience, who were all very emotional about what he was saying - many of them probably felt the same way.

"And for many of us here tonight, that story had probably strung a chord with you. Thankfully, the association has always provided the help to succeed and gain a footing in society - but that would not be possible without the help of all our volunteers here, who help us to push and breakdown institutionalized barriers every day. And of course, let us all thank a moment to thank the family members for their unwavering support and trust to the association as well. Being a father to a blind child has it's difficulties as well - often, I find myself asking if I'm doing enough for Dick. Sometimes, I feel like snapping at people who assume what Dick can and can't do. It's infuriating - and I believe many parents have felt what I've felt as well. When the stranger stares at your child as you walk down the street because his white cane is out and his arm is interlinked with yours - when someone walks up to you and asks if your son knows what you look like - when you walk into a non-ADA compliant building and your child has to rely on you completely because the building's owner discriminates against people with disabilities or just simply didn't care enough. I won't say that I'm the father of the year - my kids will be more than happy to bend your ear on how I had once lost Dick in a gala, or the one time I forgot to alert him that a car had not parked properly and he walked straight into it, hitting his knee against the car - or even the time I miscounted the number of steps and he had broken his ankle as a result of my carelessness." Bruce paused as laughter from the audience grew louder.

"So Dick - to answer your question of why you're standing up here with me - I don't want to hear your brothers nagging my ears off about how I lost you again" More laughter. Bruce smiled one of his charming smiles at the audiences as Dick mouthed the words "Love you, Dad" and Bruce chuckled and replied into the mic "Yeah, I love you too." More laughter from the audience "So- as my sons always tell me 'you're getting naggy, old man' I'm going to end my speech now. Thank you all for coming tonight, thank you for your support to the association and for everyone else, keep the money coming! I hope all of you have a great time here tonight and Thank you!" Bruce concluded, guiding Dick off the stage. Below them, the audience had exploded into a sea of applause "Honestly Bruce, you should do this more often - that was my favourite speech in your history of speeches by far" Dick joked.


	17. Bring your child to work day ft. Thirsty Batsis (Part 1)

It was bring your child to work CUM career day, and Bruce was excited to see what Jason had planned. Dick had successfully managed to convince Jason to go to the tower more often and those in the PR department really enjoyed working with Jason - so much so that Jason had offered to help out for this event as well. Jason had always wondered what it was that Dick and the others saw in him - he thought he didn't have that many redeeming qualities. Of course, if you asked Dick, he would tell you that Jason was actually a big softie at heart - and he was wonderful when it came to coming up with ideas that could benefit the community at large. Jason was very in tune with what kids on the streets, orphanages and the less privileged needed to succeed in life and knew what was needed to give society a push in the right direction. Having him plan these events were better than having someone with a privileged background leading teams and assuming based on stereotypes of what could be done. Jason had refused to share with Bruce and Dick what he had planned - and had been having meetings with Tim a lot recently - so Bruce assumed it had something to do with R&D. Every year, the R&D would hold competitions for kids of employees to join and present their projects - the winner would get a cash prize, as well as the chance to name their project should it make it to the mass markets - and it often did. Lucius was of the opinion that it was the best way to tap into resources and scout for talent within the company itself. This year, he and Tim would be judging the projects together. Marketing had prepared many interactive activities as well, and Bruce enjoyed looking at kids doodle on the interactive board that was often used to present projections and ideas. In conclusion, Bruce enjoyed career day - it made him feel young again. Alfred was on a very needed vacation so it was just him and his kids for the week.

 

Walking into the kitchen, he saw that Dick was already dressed and drinking his coffee and having his usual coffee soaked cereal - yeah Dick needs help. Cass was opposite him, with her head on the table, similarly dressed in a pant suit. Bruce wondered briefly to himself if he would be able to convince Dick to take part in today's activities - Dick had always hid in his office and buried himself in work on Bring your child to work day. Maybe Jason had something planned - he always did like catching people by surprise. Bruce was pulled out of his musings when Jason and Tim walked down together - both dressed in formal business attire. The two of them had been getting closer ever since Damian joined their family - it wasn’t like Bruce didn't know that Tim had been going to Jason after his nightmares now instead of Dick, but he knew that he was bad at talking and didn't want to accidentally break what they had. He was glad that Jason was finally loosening up to Tim. Tim was a good kid. Finally, his youngest made his appearance and if he was being honest with himself, Damian looked just like he did as a 10-year-old. He was dressed to the nines, with his hair all styled up and a tie hanging from his neck. "Good Morning Father, Grayson." Damian said. Then, as an after thought, he added "Todd, Drake, Cain."

"Morning" Dick and Bruce chorused while Tim and Jason both grunted in response - Dick was right, Tim was turning into a mini-Jason. Cass didn't even bother waking up and only waved in the vague direction of Damian.

"tt. Grayson, do you seriously intend to wear _that_ to work?" Damian asked, sounding offended.

Dick had a look of confusion on his face as he turned to ask Damian "Why? What's wrong with what I'm wearing? It's Alfred approved." Bruce turned to face Dick and for the first time since he saw his eldest this morning, what Dick was wearing finally registered in Bruce's brain. Looking over, he noticed the same look of recognition on Tim and Jason's faces as they took in what Dick was wearing.

"You have no idea what you're wearing at all, do you?" Tim giggled.

"No? When do I ever?" Dick replied, confusion still evident.

"Dark Red" Cass grunted out from where she was seated - apparently still awake enough to make fun of Dick.

"So? What's wrong with red?" Dick asked.

"Sexy" Cass said.

"Do you even know what day today is?" Tim asked

"Uh- Tuesday? I still don't see what the problem is. We don't have any important meetings scheduled today. Plus, even if we did, I've worn this out before a couple of times and no one has stopped me?" Dick said

"It's bring your child to work day, Dick. The Maroon blazer and pants are probably going to make many mothers and daughters drool at you inappropriately." Tim replied

"What Timbo here means is that you look like a extremely hot sexy eligible bachelor and many people are going to be so distracted by you that they won't be able to focus on the event since you'll be the highlight of the day. Plus, you look really good in that pair of aviators. Kinda rocking the bad rich boy look. If I was into dudes I would totally dig you." Jason said.

It was true - Dick wasn't in full business attire today, instead opting to dress down by wearing a white v-neck tee that showed off his toned abs. The maroon blazer and maroon pants hugged tightly around Dick, further complimenting his sculptured body. The look was further perfected by the mirrored orange-sunset coloured aviators that he had perched on his nose. Very sexy. Yum.

"Uh Thanks? -Should I change into something else then?" Dick asked.

"tt. Yes. Come on Grayson. I'll get you styled appropriately for today." Damian said as he began dragging Dick away from the breakfast table.

"cute" Cass commented.

"I'm not cute Cain! I merely wish for Grayson to be appropriately attired for a event that involves little children who will be scarred by what they see when they see him." Damian shouted in response, still dragging Dick back to his room.

After they were out of earshot, Bruce commented "I think I have been replaced. He didn't even comment about what I was wearing today. And he always comments about how I'm dressed in the morning."

"Well Bruce, for the first time since he came to the manor, you actually managed to be appropriately well dressed for work without Alfred's help. What surprised me more was that he didn't insult what Jason and I were wearing." Tim said.

"Kid can't do that without insulting himself Tim - he was wearing what all 4 of us are - boring black blazers and pants with a boring white work top and a tie. At most he would insult our tie choices but seeing that he can't do that without insulting Cass and the unsaid promise of getting his ass handed to him during training he chose to pick on Dick who was wearing red". Jason said, nursing his third cup of coffee.

"Dick pretty" Cass said.

"Yeah Cass we all agreed that Dick looked like a pretty ken doll in the outfit" Tim said.

"New Dick pretty" Cass repeated, pointing to Dick, who was coming down with Damian now.

"Damian, are you sure this is acceptable? I mean - it's not part of an approved combination by Alfred." Dick's voice travelled into the kitchen.

"You said you trusted me, Grayson" Damian replied.

"Yeah well I do but - I'm quite sure I just heard Cass call this outfit pretty" Dick said, sounding unsure.

"Yes. Pretty!" Cass shouted at the two.

Bruce took in what Dick was wearing now - it was his slim fit midnight blue blazer with the same white tee, matched with black pants. Damian had made him change his shoes to a pair of Berluti loafers in a matching blue instead of his usual Louboutin Greggo derby shoes. His sunglasses had been swapped for a pair of teal-blue semi transparent Ray-Bans. If you stood close enough you could see Dick's eyes looking right back at you. It was a refreshing change - Dick was usually dressed in matching colours - Blue suit with blue pants, Maroon blazer with maroon pants, Black jacket with black pants etc. Alfred always made sure he wore matching pairs of colour and it was almost a Dick Grayson trademark to always be dressed in matching colours with complimentary tinted lenses.

"Good job, demon! Dickie you actually look really nice. It's a great combination" Jason said.

"You know, I don’t trust you when you say that. The last time I allowed you two to match my outfits for me Cass called me a Christmas tree. And you had me wear a pair of sunglasses that had the words "I heart Tim" and "I heart Jay" scribbled on each lens" Dick said, chuckling at the memory. "So Dami, now that we're in the kitchen, care to tell me what I'm wearing now?"

"Appropriate clothing" Damian replied, moving towards the kitchen to make toast.

"Help?" Dick said, addressing everyone in the kitchen.

"Nope" (tim) "Pass" (jay) "Pretty!" (Cass)

"Dad?" Dick asked, pouting and giving Bruce his puppy eyes.

"It's your midnight blue blazer - you know, the one that's the color of our eyes - paired with black pants. Your shoes are a matching blue with your blazer. You have a pair of blue tinted sunglasses on. You look nice." Bruce summarised for Dick.

"That literally still doesn't tell me shit about what I'm wearing but thanks for the vote of confidence on me looking nice I guess." Dick replied dryly.

"Can we go now, Father?" Damian asked - having finished his breakfast. If you asked the kid, he would vehemently deny that he was excited about today. But truth is, he is very excited and can't wait to shadow his father and brothers at work. His father had recently announced to the world of his existence as his Biological son, and he couldn't wait to make his presence known in the company.

"Sure. Tim, Jason, I assume you both will be travelling over later on your own?" Both boys nodded their agreement "What about you Cass? Gonna follow us there first or go with Tim and Jay" Bruce asked.

"You" Cass replied, frowning at Tim and Jason in disgust.

The four of them made their way to Bruce's SUV as Bruce asked "So, will you be joining us for the activities today, Dick?"

"No, I have to go through some of the reports from the Mexico and Hong Kong branch. I promised I'll get back to them by the end of this week." Dick replied. Frowning slightly, Bruce started planning what he could do to convince Dick to join them this year. It'll be fun.

"What about you, Cass?" Bruce asked, glancing at the back seat

"Protect Dick. Crazy girls. Sexy Dick bad. Pretty Dick maybe okay." Cass replied, frowning at her memory of all the teenage girls who tried to break into Dick's office the past 3 years.

Dick laughed at that statement "Aw, I love you so much Cass. You're right, those girls are crazier and scarier than the Joker himself."

Damian frowned - Dick wasn't going to be joining them for the event today? But Jason promised that he would get Dick to! They had prepared a surprise and all that.  Little did he know, his father was plotting a idea of his own as well.

 

Once they reached WE, Damian followed Bruce into his office while Dick made his way to his, followed closely by Cass.

"Father, we have to make Grayson join us in this year's activities. Todd and Drake have prepared an event which requires his presence."

"Oh? Jason told you about what he planned? What did he plan, Damian?"

"TT. Did Todd fail to inform you of his plans?"

"Yeah no Dick and I have asked him quite a few times but until now he has refused to tell us anything at all."

"Well then, if Todd did not wish to inform you, then I shan't betray his trust either."

"Oh uh okay, so what do you want to do today Damian? You want to explore around my office or Dick's until the event starts? We still have 30minutes"

Bruce was beyond puzzled by now - but if his sons were all so determined to keep him out of the loop for some surprise, he could deal with his curiousity for a little longer - if he really wanted to, he could always find out but where would the fun be in that?

"I would like to shadow both you and Grayson today." Damian said.

"Well I'm mostly going to be walking around checking in on every department. Would you like to do that with me? Dick's probably just gonna stay in his office doing boring paper work while Cass makes sure no crazy girls get near him today. If you want to, we can go to Dick's office first and you can see the stuff he has to do? Does that interest you?"

"That sounds satisfactory, Father" Damian replied. As the duo walked into Dick's office (right next to Bruce's) his assistant quickly stood up to greet them "Good Morning Mr Wayne, Mr Wayne Junior"

"Morning Jack! Do you know what's on Dick's schedule today?"

"He has nothing important scheduled today, Mr Wayne. Only a meeting with our marketing director at 4pm - something about strategies for a project that he didn't find satisfactory" Jack replied "Please drag him out of the office today for some fun Mr Wayne - he's going to overwork himself again"

"Trust me Jack, I will. And I'm going to make sure he enjoys all the activities we have planned today instead of staying in his office and hiding"

Jack smiled at Bruce and asked "Would you like me to inform him you're here? Miss Cassandra is inside with him now."

"No need for that Jack. Don't overwork yourself as well - I need you here to help keep him sane"

Jack laughed again " You flatter me, Mr Wayne"

"No, I'm serious - you're one of the few people in this office who can actually keep up with him. The man's a workaholic. What would he do without you?" Bruce smiled as he made his way to Dick's inner office. Once they entered, they were greeted with the sight of Cassandra sprawled out across his couch while Dick was seated at his desk reading some document.

"What are you reading?" Damian asked, walking over to Dick's desk.

"Oh. This is a report on the market trends in Mexico. Wanna read it?" Dick asked, looking in the direction of Damian.

"I'm honoured that you think so highly of me, Grayson. However, I am still unable to read Braille as well as you do." Damian replied.

Meanwhile, Bruce said "I don't think anyone comes for Career day to be bored to death by statistics and trends"

"I have a print version somewhere if you want to read it. Bruce, don't underestimate your son. He's very intuitive" Dick said, already moving to find the print version of the document that Jack prepared as a spare for him, in case Bruce or Lucius wanted to discuss something and he could quickly have a copy ready. He stood up and went over to his shelf, running his fingers over the Braille labels until it reached the correct ring folder. Then, flipping through it, he ran his fingers along the tabs until he reached the correct document, extracting it from the folder and handing it to Damian. "Go ahead. Take a look and tell me what you see"

Damian quickly took the document and started reading - "TT. Their market research was done on the wrong population and is so severely biased that it shouldn't be allowed to be published at all."

"Good. What else did you notice?"

"Dick have you secretly been teaching my 10 year old son about market research?"

"He's gonna have to learn if he wants to take over WE someday." Dick responded.

"But you're the heir apparent to WE. Its already been acknowledged and accepted by almost everyone" Bruce replied

"Dad we both know that shit happens all the time. If something happens to me - then don't worry. I've already found you and Lucius a good replacement CEO."

"Don't say that" Bruce replied

"Grayson please do not say something so bleak. I wish to take over the company some day, yes. But not at the expense of your life. You are clearly competent at your job and I do not mind simply assisting you in the running of the company."

"Mhmm so have you found anything else interesting in the document?" Dick asked, changing the topic.

"The person who approved for this document to even reach your office should be fired. The quality of analysis is subpar and commits basic mistakes such as Atomistic fallacy. It should not be taken as a good point of reference for market analysis." Damian replied.

"Yup. You're correct. And they wonder why they haven't been performing up to WE standards compared to the other branches. What can you conclude from this, Dami?" Dick asked

"They under performed due to a lack of understanding of their consumer base - which could result in further disengagement from the target audience who have no interest in anything WE produces or markets in the area, thus leading to a greater decrease in performance. They can improve by first conducting a proper market research, engaging and building up trust of the brand with the people - form a community to promote WE as a lifestyle instead of a product." Damian replied, eyes sparkling with the shrewdness of a businessman. Bruce shivered at the glean.

Dick turned to Bruce "See? He's good. And he liked it - right Dami? I'm good at this career day thing. Everyday is career day for him when he's with me." Dick said, wiggling his eyebrows in Bruce's direction.

"This was nice. Is there anything else that we can do now, Father?" Damian asked, turning to face Bruce, who was looking at him in shock. "What"

"I uh- I'm impressed, Damian. Good job. What do you want to do now?" Bruce replied

"It would seem that it is almost time for the events to start. Grayson, will you be coming along?" Damian asked, hoping that his brother would agree.

"Nope, I've got to handle this. Maybe later." Dick replied, moving back to take a seat at his table.

As Bruce and Damian went out to Dick's outer office, they saw Tim and Jason conspiringly leaning towards Jack discussing something. "Hey Jason, Tim. What are the two of you doing here?"

"We're plotting on getting Dick out of his office, of course. See you downstairs in a few minutes old man. They're expecting a speech - the embarrass your sons kind of speech. I'm thinking embarrass Tim or Dick or even the demon." Jason replied, smirking. Tim rolled his eyes and said "I'm going to check in with R&D and see if everything is ready. See you!"

Tim walked out, and Jason followed behind. Damian was full on smirking as well by now and Bruce shivered once again - what on Earth did his sons have in mind? "Should I be worried?" Bruce turned to Jack, asking. Jack shook his head in response, a playful smile on his face. "Come on, let's go, Damian." Bruce said, walking out of the office as well.

When the reached the main foyer, they were greeted with the sights of families walking around - and there were displays/exhibits of the company's research and products, as well as marketing posters littered all over. The couches and glass tables had been removed from where they originally were to make space for everything else. There were a few reporting teams gathered around to cover the event as well - WE was after all, a huge conglomerate and many people applied to work for WE every year. He also saw a few kids excitedly signing to each other - and a few other kids with white canes in their hands - those were probably the beneficiaries that Jason invited for today's events. There was another group of children with a few adults - those were probably kids from orphanages that Wayne foundation funded. Looking around, there was a huge stage set up, and on the stage were two transparent baby-grand glass pianos placed face to face. He was pulled out of his musings when Jason's voice boomed through the speakers overhead "Let's put our hands together to welcome the president of this company, Bruce Wayne! Come on Dad it's time for one of your speeches. Tim stole my coffee this morning so remember to help me embarrass him in front of everyone!" Jason said, smirking as Bruce made his way to the stage. The audiences were laughing at the casual display of affection. Bruce mildly noted that behind Jason was a Sign interpreter. "Hi everyone, welcome to Wayne Enterprises' annual Bring your child to work day CUM Career Fair. There's many activities prepared today and I hope all of you can enjoy yourselves. As usual, we will be hosting our R&D invention competition on the 32rd level - and if you have something you would like to enter, remember to head on there as well. There's interactive drawing boards in Marketing - so if you would like to create some art, head on over there as well! Lastly, let us put our hands together for the PR team as well as my son Jason here, who helped put this event together! Thank You!" Bruce smiled his trademark charming smile at the audiences. He started making his way off the stage when he caught Tim, Damian and Jason smirking at him. Jason's voice came through the speakers as he made his way up on stage and pushed Bruce towards one of the seats in front of the piano "Not so fast, old man. Take a seat at one of the pianos. We've got some demo that the R&D wants to show. Oh ~Dickie! Just in time. Let's put our hands together for our other tribute of the day, the vice president of WE, Dick Grayson-Wayne!" Laughter and applause roared from below as Tim half dragged half guided a very confused Dick up to the other piano.

 

Dick's POV

 

10 minutes after Bruce and Damian left, Jack came in, telling him that there was an emergency regarding Bruce at the Foyer, and he was urgently needed. Forgetting to ask what, Dick left Cass behind in his office while he ran to the lifts and made his way down. Cursing the moment he stepped foot in the lift, he realised that he left his cane in his office and won't be able to go resolve any crisis if he couldn't even get his bearings in a crowded foyer. To his surprise, Tim was already stationed by the lift as he exited, and Tim grabbed him and dragged him somewhere - and he realised that there was no emergency when Jason's voice reached his ears from the booming speakers "Let's put our hands together for our other tribute of the day, the vice president of WE, Dick Grayson-Wayne!" Urgently, he turned to Tim "What's going on?"

"Stairs. Last step. Don't ask. Now, just sit here. Seat's here. There's a piano in front of you. Bruce is seated opposite you." Tim said as Jason handed Tim the mic.

 

Back to other POV

Tim took the mic and addressed everyone "Hey guys! I'm Tim, the head of R&D here at WE. Today, we would like to show you a project we have been working on, and we would love to hear your thoughts on it. You can leave your feedbacks by scanning this QR code here. What you see here are two glass pianos - but they're not just any ordinary pianos. In an effort to make Art accessible for all, the folks at R&D have been wondering what they could do to mimic and create an immersive experience of classical music for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing. The inspiration for this project happened when I chanced upon my little brother, Demon - no I meant Damian there attempting to paint a impressionist piece after he heard Dick playing Moonlight Sonata, and I asked the folks in R&D - what if we could make music visual? After months of work, this is what we came up with. Hours of machine learning and working with people who have synaesthesia, as well various visual artists, we at R&D are proud to present our newest project, Music in Colours. Using artificial intelligence, the computer matches each keystroke to a tone, and the computer can pick up on the differences in chords and adjust the mood accordingly. The glass that wraps around the piano is made of transparent LED that will move in tandem with the music. Of course, you are all really waiting for a demo, so let us put our hands together for our favourite President and Vice President - who will be playing the first movement of their favourite piano duet - Mozart's Sonata in D major for Two Pianos."

"We are?" Bruce asked, looking confused as Jason walked up and placed the score in front of Bruce - of course Bruce could play the piano by sight reading - he's a genius remember?

"Bold of you to assume I know the score to the song" Dick said. The conversation was picked up by the mics hidden in the pianos and the audiences had to stifle a laughter at the father-son duo.

"I just said, we chose this piece because it's your favourite duet and you have both played it countless times together. Don't think we don't know. The two of you are not as sneaky as you think," Tim said, and the audiences laughed loudly.

Dick sighed audibly and said "Come on old man, lets see if your fingers can keep up". He placed his fingers on the piano and started playing the first few notes. Bruce joined in a little bit after the first bar. The audiences watched, entranced as the familiar music hit their ears. Dick's piano lit up first, then Bruce's - and just like the music coming from under their fingers, the LED glass surrounding the pianos danced around each other - when Dick or Bruce hit the keys harder, darker, stronger colours would appear, and when their fingers flew across the keys quickly, the colours would appear in bursts and then disappear. The lights wove into each other gently, as did their music, creating a mural of constantly moving colours and images. It was magical. As the song ended, the lights faded softly away. The audience roared in applause for what they had just watched.

"That was actually a very amazing experience - Good Job. But next time maybe give us a little warning" Bruce said, clapping his hand on Tim's back. "How are you my brothers" Dick said, still seated at the piano, unsure if he should be amused or angry at their antics. Jason walked up to Dick "Hand at your 8 - and you love us. Now that you've left your office, maybe spend some time with the demon. He wanted to spend it with you today. Don't tell Bruce though he might get jealous." Dick grabbed Jason's elbow with practiced ease and they made their way off the stage to Damian while Bruce was still talking to Tim on stage about the piano. The crowd had dissipated slightly and some were looking at the two crystal pianos from below or taking photos. "How did you guys know about this song?" Dick asked. "We've heard it quite a few times in the manor so we asked Alfred about it. The door to the room was always locked when this song was played. He told us that Martha used to play it with Bruce and it was very significant to him - that's how we knew that he was the one playing it. As for you, well, the song's a duet and Bruce didn’t play it with me- I'm not at that level yet - and it definitely wasn't Alfred or Damian.  That left Tim or you on the list - but Tim said it wasn’t him so you were the only person left. It's not that hard to figure out." Jason shrugged. They met with Damian and Jason left, saying he had some other things he had to attend to. "That was a highly satisfactory performance, Grayson. Will you be accompanying us for the rest of today's event now that you're here?" Damian said. Smiling at Damian, Dick said "Thanks Dami. I'm glad you enjoyed the performance. The piece has a very special significance to Dad though - it's not just a piece of music - it was his mother's favourite duet, and she taught Bruce half of it before that night. I think it's the first time he's ever played it outside the manor. Be nice to him about this okay?"

Suddenly, gunfire rang through the foyer as a man walked in the direction of Dick and Damian, who were standing in front of the stage. Since it was WE's open day, there was hardly any guards patrolling around the ground level - they had been deployed to other levels of the building to ensure that most importantly, confidential information would not be stolen. They did not expect a gunman to show up and there were only 2 guards around. With the man holding a gun, their first instinct was to protect their President - leaving Dick and Damian open to the assault of the gun man. The foyer quickly turned silent and everyone darted off to corners of the room. Luckily for them, the gun man were not interested in them. He walked with purpose to Dick, gun trained on him. Looking up at where Bruce and Tim stood above Dick, he asked "Bruce Wayne. Do you know who I am?"

 "No. Let my kids go. I'll give you anything you want. Don't hurt them." Bruce said, worried about the safety of his two sons. He felt as though his world was ending again - it was a gun that took the lives of his parents as well. He can't let it take the life of any of his sons. No.

As Bruce talked to the gun man, Damian whispered to Dick "His gun is trained on you. Of you move out of the way, I can take him down" Dick frowned, and told Damian "No. No sudden movements. He could just decide to shoot you or worse, Tim or Brue- they're both on stage. Wait for Jason or backup."

 

"You ruined my life, Bruce Wayne. And today, I'll ruin yours. Pick a kid. Do you want your eldest to go first? Or should I kill your youngest? Or maybe I should kill him? He seems like a nice target as well." The gun man remarked, moving his gun to aim at Damian, then at Tim.

"Just tell me what you want. I'll give you anything." Bruce desperately pleaded.

"What I want? Well, I want my father back. I want my life back. Do you know he committed suicide after I was fired? Do you know how he died? He told me he didn't want to be a burden to me now that I didn't have a job, and he killed himself by jumping off a bridge. Maybe I should kill blindy here first and get rid of the biggest burden in your life hmm?" the gunman said, training his gun on Dick again.

"He's not a burden. Don't hurt him" Bruce said. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something red flash past. Good. Jason had seen what had happened and Red Hood could handle this. All his hopes were ruined, however, when the sound of sirens announced the arrival of the police. Shit. Usually in situations like this, the gun man would either run or make a statement to the police. And this man looked crazed enough to want to make a statement by shooting Dick.

The police stormed in "Alright, put down your weapon. You have been surrounded."

Clocking the gun, the gun man said "Go on Brucie, tell them to stand down or I'll shoot your heir right here right now in front of you and your other kids."

Bruce quickly made a face and told the police to stand back - but to his dismay, the police team did not stand down, their guns still trained on the gun man. "Drop your weapon now. We have guns trained on you and you have been surrounded."

BANG! The sound of a gunshot ricocheted in the massive foyer as Dick shook - the man had shot him in his abdomen and blood slowly seeped through his blazer - the spot of red on his white shirt slowly growing in size.

"Dick!" Tim, Bruce and Damian all shouted in horror as gasps and sobs passed through the foyer.

The gun man quickly used the opportunity to move behind Dick, placing the gun on his head "You will let me out of here and you will not press charges against me. I want 13 million wired into the following account -"

The gunman was stopped in his demands when he was thrown to the floor by Dick, who was panting but had a hold on him and had kicked the gun away. The police quickly went up to apprehend then man and Bruce, Tim and Damian all ran up to him to look at him. The man forgot something important - Dick Grayson had a 7th degree Black Belt in Taekwondo - the moment the man made contact with Dick, he was doomed to fail. Dick had made use of the contact to gauge the man's position, and quickly grabbed his wrist, twisted the gun in another direction while using the momentum to throw him over his shoulder and pin the man to the floor. The man never stood a chance.  "Dick are you okay?" "That was stupid and rash!" Someone familiar said.

"get the paramedics!" someone else shouted. Dick collapsed onto the floor when the man was removed and he felt someone placing pressure on his wound.

"Hey hey Dick. Chum, Stay with me. Don't pass out now." Bruce said as Dick felt his world fading away.

"Hey kid, my name is James. We're going to have to move you onto a stretcher now okay?" Dick only grunted in response. His world exploded in pain as he was moved. "Any past medical history we should take note of?"

Dick's world faded out of focus as someone that sounded like Tim started giving them a run down.


	18. Bring your child to work day (Part 2)

Disaster, Heavy on the Dis

 

Bruce was pacing outside the hospital as hoards of reporters gathered outside, stopped by the GCPD. His parents were killed by a gun, he can't lose his son to a gun. No. Tim sat on one of the chairs, his shirt bloody. Damian had allowed himself to lie down on Tim's lap for Tim to comfort him. Jason was outside smoking to relieve the stress. Cass was somewhere trying to work her emotions out, probably. She had given herself one task today and she failed. Bruce was ashamed to say that Tim had been the first to react. Once the gun was kicked away, Tim had immediately jumped off the stage and ran to Dick, asking if he was okay. Damian stood in shock looking at Dick. Some of Dick's blood had splattered onto Damian's face when he had been shot. Tim took off his jacket and pressed it against Dick's wound as he lay on the floor - and his blazer had quickly soaked through. Damian was the next to react, holding Dick's hand tightly in his own small hand and showing concern the only way he knew how to "That was stupid and rash!" Jason had appeared next, shouting for paramedics and quickly removing his own suit jacket to help Tim slow the bleeding that was gushing out of Dick's side.  It wasn't until Jim had his hand on Bruce worryingly that Bruce realised that he had froze on the stage. It was too surreal. He felt like a child again, looking on as the life drained out of his loved ones. He quickly ran down and held Dick's other hand, begging for him to stay conscious. The paramedics arrived shortly after. He went along in the ambulance while Tim drove Cass and Damian to the hospital. Jason arrived on his bike after getting Lucius to deal with the aftermath at WE.

The situation felt all too familiar - the last time it had been a bullet close to his heart - but Nightwing had Kevlar protecting and staggering the bullet for him. This time- this time it was Dick who had been shot. Civilian Dick was shot. There was barely anything that would have protected him - his blazer was so thin and so was his shirt. The Bullet was still in him. He had been wheeled in for surgery for 3 hours already. "Bruce!" The urgent and scared voice of Barbara reached him. Damian shot upright and Tim stood up. Smiling weakly, Tim waved "Hi Babs" before collapsing back onto the chair. Not getting a reaction from Bruce, Babs turned to Tim "How is he? Dad called me and I rushed here as soon as I could. Traffic was a bitch and is he going to be okay?" "We don’t know anything yet. He's been in surgery for the past 3 hours. No exit wound. He lost a lot of blood, Babs. I don't - There was so much blood. It soaked through both mine and Jay's jackets. I- Babs I think it hit the liver. I- He'll be okay. He's Dick. He'll be okay." Tim stuttered, sounding unsure, the last part seemingly to comfort himself. Tim was no idiot. He saw the blood. He saw the entry wound. Likely damage to the Liver. No exit wound. It probably embedded itself in the Liver. All that blood. Probably a blood vessel. Liver. No exit wound. Haemorrhaging. They would have to cut through layers of abdominal muscles to reach the bullet. Surgery over 3 hours. If it had hit something else, it wouldn't have taken this long. Tim had run the simulations in his head so many times. Even if Dick could survive this - it would be months of PT and tissue regeneration before he could do basic things like climbing stairs. And even before PT, he would have to be hospitalised so that they could supervise his healing. Nightwing would retire for good this time. Dick would have to deal with many long term consequences - there was no running from it this time. Long term management of his liver to prevent haemorrhaging or delayed bleeding. Chronic abdominal pain. No more acrobatic tricks. No more flips. The gunshot might as well have killed Dick. Turning to look at Barbara - she had the same look on her face. "He'll be okay. He's strong. As long as he lives" Babs concluded "Has Alfred been contacted? He probably doesn't want to learn about this from the news" Babs asked.

"Yeah, Jay called him. I think he's blaming himself - if we hadn't tried to get him out of his office this morning, he wouldn't be in this condition"

"You have a point but Tim, if not him, it would have been one of you and we would all still be here in the same situation. Selfishly, I'm glad its Dick. I saw the CCTV footage. A gunshot wound at that level - you do realise it would have killed Damian right? And if it did - what Dick would do to himself over something like that. I don't even want to think about it." Babs said, comforting Tim.

Then, Damian spoke "If I had died, Mom would just chuck me into the pit and I'll be back in a week or so"

Tim replied "Only it won't really be you and Talia may not let you return to us at all if that happened. I'm worried about Bruce and Cass. Cass gave herself one self-appointed job today and she failed - she's probably off somewhere putting people In body casts to work out her anger at herself and Bruce - Babs he blanked. The three of us were already there on the floor with Dick but he stood on the stage and he froze. It's probably bringing back all his unwanted memories of when his parents had died, and the one time the joker fake shot him. I don't know how to console him or talk to him. I don’t even think he wants to talk to anyone until he knows Dick is safe. Babs, one more thing - we need to get someone to be Nightwing until Dick's okay - people can't link the shooting and Nightwing's leave of absence together"

"I'll contact Roy and Wally to deal. Tim, are you okay?"

"Yeah Yeah I am. Why do you ask?"

"You talk a lot when you're feeling guilty. I've seen this behaviour in you before."

"I'll- I'm okay Babs. Really. I just hope Dick will be. And I really hope I'm wrong about the liver thing - because you and I both know how much trouble that shit can put you in."

 

Just then, the Doctor walked out "Family of Richard Grayson-Wayne?"

Bruce was the first to react as the rest joined him "I'm his Dad. How is he?"

"Richard was extremely lucky. The bullet only nicked his liver and did not cause any internal haemorrhaging. All the blood that he lost was due to a blood vessel that burst, but we managed to repair it. The surgery took so long as we had to exercise caution in removing the bullet -we did not want it to accidentally pierce his liver. His liver is bruised, but mostly okay. However, as with all injuries involving the liver, we will need to keep him in the hospital for at least 2 weeks to ensure there is no delayed bleeding. After that, he should be okay. The bullet wound will take some time to heal, but other than that, he's mostly stable. You may see him now - but a fair word of warning, he is heavily sedated and may not be awake enough to react to you."

Bruce felt his whole body relaxing - he didn't even notice how tense he had been before. "Thank you, Doctor."

"I'm going to text Jason and Cass and Alfred, let them know he's okay," Tim said.

"Told you he's strong," Babs said to no one in particular.

 

Damian and Bruce made their way into the ICU to check in on their favourite person. He was okay. Everything was okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, humans who read this my finals are coming up so I will be taking a hiatus until I'm done with my papers. I know I said fun and fluff chapters after that migraine thing but I saw an opportunity to torture him and I just had to. It has been fun using fanfiction to revise content and I'm sorry if I bored you with names of medicines and other brain- human body stuff. Catch yall around! Also, I'm running out of ideas so if you have some great ideas on what I should write about next leave a comment below! No promises but if I think it will fit into this AU I will try my best to write it!


	19. Bonding Day!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time jump to 1 year after the First chapter

Bonding Day!

 

Dick felt bad that hadn't really been spending time with Tim alone, and so one day when he had a relatively empty schedule at WE, he hacked Tim's account to find out his schedule for the day. Glad to find that Tim would be ending his classes at Gotham University in an hour, he decided on a whim that he was going to have some quality time with Tim today. Grabbing his cane and putting on his blazer, he made his way out to his outer office.

"Hey Jack, grab the keys to the company car. We're going out." Dick said, smirking in the direction of his assistant.

"Out? Dick, You have nothing planned today that involves leaving the building," Jack replied, sounding confused.

"I know - but I cleared my afternoon. Let's go. We're running on a schedule. I cleared your afternoon too." Dick replied.

"Oooookay? Do I want to know?" Jack asked, making a move to sort his things neatly and leave a note on the glass door just in case.

"I want to go to Gotham U to find Timmy! He's ending class in an hour -if we leave now we should catch him in time," Dick said. Dick heard a sigh from his long-suffering assistant "We also need to stop on the way to grab doughnuts"

"And I'm the one buying them and finding Tim in the sea of university students I'm guessing?" Jack teased, pressing the down button by the lifts.

"Yup. Well, technically you could just try and find his car in the university carpark - that shouldn't be too hard right?"

Jack sighed again, "Dick you do realise sight doesn't work the way you think it does right. I can't just look and pinpoint Tim's car from a sea of cars."

Dick shrugged "Better you than me. Plus his car is kinda flashy."

"Yes, and you could also just wait in the tower for when he comes over later." Jack joked, offering Dick his arm as they made their way to the company car in the basement garage.

"Yeah but we all know Tim loves work more than he loves me so I've got to pry him away from his first love." Dick replied, smiling as he got into the car "Go to the doughnut place by the 5th and 7th around the corner - they always have piping hot doughnuts and are Timbo's favourite if I remember correctly."

 

"Boss, we may not make it on time to surprise him. This jam seems quite bad. You should call him or something. We're 20 minutes out." Jack spoke up.

They had already bought the doughnuts and were on their way to Gotham U when the traffic got heavy. Jack was surprised - it was nearly 3 pm and there usually weren't that many cars around at this time. Their in-car information system informed him that there was a jam and they were 20mins away. Looking over to his Boss, Jack saw Dick's face fall into a frown and he chuckled silently to himself. His boss wore his heart on his sleeves and was easily the best boss Jack had ever had. Sure the man had an insane workload - which in turn meant that Jack had a crazy workload as well but Dick was a good guy and he cared so much about those around him Jack wondered if he was an angel. Jack was 27 and had an MBA from Harvard when he started working for Dick. He had applied for a different position in the company initially - and when he started talking about his family, one of the interviewers on the panel had started asking him all sorts of weird questions (he later found out that the interviewer was Bruce Wayne's personal assistant) about it. 1 week later he found himself working for Dick Grayson-Wayne, the vice-president of the company. He had initially wondered if he was offered the position only because he had experience with assisting the visually impaired as his own brother was blind - but he quickly found out that that was not the sole reason. 19-year-old Dick Grayson was a goddammed powerhouse and ploughed through documents like a paper shredder. Jack almost lost his mind the first week working for Dick. He managed to get a system going with Dick and soon he found himself doing more work than he ever imagined. Working for Dick was a pleasure - he cared about his employee's wellbeing as well, and often cracked jokes with Jack, insisting Jack call him Dick instead of Mr Wayne when it was just the two of them. Somedays when Dick had meetings that ran until 9 pm he would leave the meeting halfway and shoo Jack back home to spend time with his family instead of making him stay behind. After some time, he came to see Dick as his own little brother as well - the man really needed to take better care of himself. He stopped counting after the 15th time Dick was sent into the hospital for over-exhaustion. When his father passed away, Dick had insisted he take as long as he needed. And now, once his schedule was beginning to slightly relax, he was on his way to surprise his little brother and spend time with him. Turning to look at his boss - who always insisted on taking the front passenger seat "because you are my assistant, not my servant" (and also because migraines) - he noticed that Dick had already gotten off the phone with Tim.

"Jack, Tim says he'll meet us at the Engineering Wing," Dick said.  
"Okay! We're almost there. GPS says 5 minutes"

"Kay. Thanks, Jack."

"As long as you keep that paycheck coming in Boss" Jack teased.  

As Jack turned into the Engineering department's pickup area, he saw Tim seating there.

"Dick, he's seated at your 10 o'clock using his phone. Around 15 steps. There's a curb 2 steps from you. Call me if you need me. I'll be in the office" Jack said to Dick.

"Thanks, Jack." Dick replied, as he opened the car door and got off. Holding the box of 12 doughnuts in his left and letting the collapsed cane in his right-hand fall to its full length, Dick closed the car door with his right foot and made his way over to where Tim was approximately at.

Hearing the familiar 'tap tap' sounds of a white cane, Tim looked up to see Dick walking towards him. Tim took in Dick's look today - he couldn't help it, and honestly, he didn't think anyone could - Dick always looked like he walked out of a fashion magazine. It didn't help that his brother was Adonis personified. Dick was dressed in a classic black wool twill suit and pants paired with a casual white v-neck shirt under. A pair of John-Lennon styled round sunglasses with a gun-black mirror tint was perched atop his nose. Completing the look was his usual Louboutin Derby shoes and his custom white cane (the area that was supposed to be red had been swapped for a classic piano black).

As Dick got closer, Tim called out to him "Over here, Dick."

"Hey, handsome" Dick said, adjusting his course slightly and made his way over. Tim lightly tapped Dick's right hand and took the box of doughnuts from him.

"Doughnuts? You're a god, you know that?" Tim said, moving to Dick's left and offering Dick his elbow.

"I know" Dick smirked, tilting his head at Tim.

"So what brings you here? You didn't exactly tell me why on the phone." Tim asked.

"What? Can't I want to spend time with my little bro?" Dick asked with a pout

"We see each other every day Dick. You have somewhere in mind you wanna go to?" Tim said, rolling his eyes. How was this man 22 years old?

"Not really, never studied here before and all that. Anywhere nice where we can just stuff our face in peace?" Dick questioned.

"Gotham U isn't exactly Harvard, Dick. This place doesn’t really have that kind of fancy facilities. We can walk to Gotham park if you want to? It's a few minutes away from here" Tim replied

"Sure why not?"

"So Dick, why are you really here?" Tim asked, ever the detective.

"Well, we haven't really been spending much time together ever since Damian came and I wanted to make it up to you," Dick replied softly, looking somewhat guilty.

"Hey, Dick. It's okay. I had you alone to myself for 3 years. And I can tell how much he needs you - you can give him what both his parents and the rest of us can't. I know what it's like to grow up in a neglectful environment and even though I hate the kid I'm glad that he has someone to turn to when he needs - just like you did for me the past few years." Tim said.

"Still, Tim. There's enough love to go around you know - I love all of you and I want you to know that. Damian's presence doesn't replace your position in my heart. Your needs are just as important as his. I was awake that night when you came in to find me for comfort only to find Damian snuggled in my side. I wanted to ask you if you wanted to talk about it but you left before I could speak up." Dick said, upset.

Tim fell silent. He didn't know what to say. Everything Dick had said had hit him like a sledgehammer - he did feel like he had been replaced by Damian when it came to Dick's love and attention, but Dick's actions today told him otherwise. If Dick didn't care about him, he wouldn't have taken time off and travelled all the way from the office to Gotham U to spend time with Tim, knowing that there was no other way the two of them could have any brotherly bonding time together alone. He even remembered to bring Tim's favourite doughnuts.

"Timmy."

"Hmm?"

"You're important to me too, okay? Don't force yourself to take a backseat." Dick said. Tim smiled gratefully at Dick, before remembering that the look was lost on him.

"Thanks, Dick. I'm smiling, by the way." Tim replied.

"Are all your Wednesday afternoons like this? We should make this a thing. Just you and me. No Bruce, No Jason, No Damian. Just us" Dick offered.

"That's okay. Yeah, I'd like that. Thanks Dick. We've reached the park. There's a bench on your right." Tim said.

Dick allowed his cane to hit the bench before moving closer towards it. He bought his leg to the edge of the bench to mark its position before turning and seating down. Beside him, Tim had excitedly opened up the box of doughnuts and began munching on one while Dick collapsed his cane to stuff it in his suit jacket.

Of course - good things don't ever stay for long when it came to the two of them. Just as Tim was about to offer Dick a doughnut, Dick's phone started ringing. "Unknown, Unknown, Unknown"  Dick quickly picked up the call "Hello?"

"Good Afternoon, this is Florence, I am calling from Gotham Academy. Is this Mr Richard Grayson-Wayne?"

"Speaking?"

"Mr Damian has been involved in a case of bullying. We were unable to get in contact with Mr Bruce Wayne and you are listed as his second guardian and emergency contact. Could you come down to our office to get this issue sorted?"

"Damian was involved in a case of bullying?" Dick asked, disbelievingly - even though Damian had a bad temper, he was good at controlling it in school and shouldn't have flared out that easily. Hopefully, the other kid was alright.

"Yes. Now we would appreciate it if you could come here as soon as possible. Thank You." Florence said.

"Yeah uh okay. Thanks for calling." Dick replied, rubbing his temples.

"Waz wong?" Tim asked from in-between his act of chomping down his third doughnut.

"Tim, we need to go to GA. Damian had apparently gotten himself involved in a case of bullying. Sorry."

Tim swallowed his doughnut, asking "Why are you apologising?"

"Today was supposed to be about spending time with you but now you have to drive me to Gotham Academy to deal with this mess" Dick replied, sighing. "there's something else that Bruce and I have been meaning to tell you and Jason, but we haven't gotten the chance to - we wanted to be prepared in case Bruce went missing or had to leave for an extended period of time, so we got me registered legally as Damian's second guardian. He already knows, and it's just you and Jason who don't know about this yet."

"So why are you telling me this now?"

"Better that you find out now than later from the school. I swear Timmy, we didn't mean to keep it from you guys. It just never came up and Jason's technically already an adult and you're 16 and he did try to kill you and we didn't know how you would react or when we should tell you or-"

"Dick, you're blabbering. Don't worry about it. I understand. Plus, I'm almost 17. One more year and legally I would be on my own. Kid's only 10. It's good to have precautions in place. Come on, let's go. This was nice while it lasted." Tim replied

Dick snorted a laugh "We barely warmed the benches and now we have to go. God Damian couldn't have picked any other day to get involved in a fight."

"I'm having all the doughnuts to myself as your repayment for ruining this tradition before it even started," Tim said as they made their way back to Tim's car.

 

Reaching Gotham Academy, Tim guided Dick to the front reception.

"Hi, how may I help you?" The receptionist asked.

"Hi, I'm Richard Grayson-Wayne. I was called over because my brother Damian was involved in a case of bullying?" Dick replied.

"Ah, yes. Mr Wayne. The rest are already waiting in the Principal's office. And who night this young man be?" The receptionist said.

"I'm Damian's brother too. I uh- I could leave if you don’t want me here?" Tim replied.

"I don't see why you're here but I'm sure there are enough seats in the office for you as well." the receptionist said, standing up and leading the way without turning to make sure Dick was following "this way please"

Tim snorted. The lady clearly hadn't put the sunglasses and the cane together and this here is the reason why he hated to leave Dick alone. Deciding to be an ass, Tim said loudly "She stood up and entered an office to your left," as he offered Dick his elbow and guided him in the direction of where the receptionist went. Obviously, he knew that Dick would be able to follow the receptionist just fine on his own - her heels had clicked loudly against the parquets flooring of the school. His words had the effect he wanted as the receptionist spun around in shock, taking Dick in again and Tim could see the lightbulb going off in her head. Having put two and two together, Dick playfully smacked Tim's head when he heard the receptionist turn back around and walk in to announce their arrival.

Standing at the outer office, Tim and Dick could both hear what the receptionist was saying inside "Mr Hansen, Mr Wayne and his younger brother are outside, shall I show them in?"

"Thank you, Miss Smith, that would be nice." Came the principle's office

"Er- another thing, Mr. Hansen. It would seem that Mr. Wayne is blind so I'm not so sure he was the right person to have contacted" the receptionist, Miss Smith, said.

"What does him being blind have to do with anything?" Came Damian's voice. Outside, Tim felt his fingernails digging into his palm. He looked at Dick - but Dick had seemed unfazed by what had conspired inside.

"Mr Damian, I would appreciate it if you could keep quiet while we are talking. Miss Smith, please show the two Mr. Waynes in, Thank you." Mr. Hansen said.

Miss Smith walked out stiffly, then addressed Tim and ignored Dick completely "Mr. Hansen will see you now."

Sighing, Tim pushed open the door and guided in. Mr. Hansen was already standing by the door and he held his hand out to shake Dick's. "Hi, I'm Mr Hansen. The school's principal. You must be Mr Grayson-Wayne."

"Hi, Mr. Hansen, and please, call me Dick." Dick said, not making a move to shake Mr. Hansen's hand. As a rule of thumb, Dick always offered his hand first so that he didn't have to grope around the air to search for the other person's hand - and he always, always knew if someone else was offering their hand to shake. Something about air flow and the smell of cologne. Tim recognized the signs of his brother being passive aggressive, as Dick usually did something like this to make the other party feel uncomfortable about his disability on purpose. Tim nudged him lightly and said "Hand". Confirming his theory, Dick quickly mumbled out a "sorry" in the direction of the principal as his left hand shot out. Mr. Hansen hesitated for a moment before grabbing Dick's in a firm handshake. Knowing that his little ruse had succeeded, Dick decided to speak - he knew there were other people in the room, that much had been clear to him - but he decided to keep up his act and said "Alright, so what happened? Is Damian okay?" Dick asked.

"Well, Mr Wayne - can I call you Mr Wayne? Mr Damian is fine. However, I believe that this matter should be discussed in the presence of - how should I put this? A more competent guardian than yourself. You seem a little too - young to be Mr Damian's guardian. Not to mention your disability," Mr. Hansen said, moving back to his seat and gesturing at the chairs available. The boy who had a bloodied nose and his two parents who were seated in the other end of the room snorted and stifled their laughs. Tim narrowed his eyes as he placed Dick's hand on the back of a chair to signal to him where the chair was.

Dick frowned as he took a seat. Calmly, he said "Well, the judge who approved of me as Damian's second guardian didn't seem to think that I was, in your words, Mr. Hansen, incompetent to take care of my brother in the absence of my father."

"And where exactly is Mr. Bruce Wayne? Even the boy's mother would be a better choice for this conversation than you." The principal said. Beside him, he felt Damian stiffen. Quietly, he interlocked his fingers with Damian and started tapping out the word "act" and "cry" in morse. Damian gave him a squeeze to let him know that he received Dick's message.

"Bruce is overseas. He won't be back until 3 days later. As for the boy's mother - she's out of the picture. So, unless you want to resolve this issue 3 days later, I suggest we get started on what happened," Dick replied. In actual fact, Bruce was in space on a league mission with other leaguers- but they couldn't tell him that.

"I'm not sure I am comfortable having this conversation with you, Mr Wayne. And I don’t think the parents of the other two kids are either. As the principal of this school, I need to have the best interests of my students at heart and considering your handicap, you do not seem to be an adequate guardian for the boy. Perhaps I shall get in touch with his mother - you mentioned that she is out of the picture - out of the picture how?" The principal said firmly.

"Please do not call my mother," Damian said, tears welling in his eyes. Openly, Dick gave Damian a reassuring squeeze.

"Look. We're clearly not getting anywhere with this conversation. You said you have the best interests of your students at heart. News flash, his mother is out of the picture because she is an abusive and manipulative person. I have a document that certifies that I am a fit and legal guardian for Damian. So we either get started or this school finds itself in a lawsuit for discrimination. I don't see how my disability hinders my ability to take care of Damian, or how it prevents me from fulfilling my duties as his guardian in the absence of our father."

"Mr. Hansen, Sir? Could we please start this meeting already? I have a job to go back to and I don't get paid for the hours I am gone. The man is the boy's guardian and I do not think his blindness has anything to do with his ability to care for his brother. I do not mind discussing this issue with him." A soft voice spoke up from the corner with a thick Spanish accent. Mr. Hansen sighed and turned to the other group of parents in the room "What about you, Mr. and Mrs. Simmons?" The two cast brief glances with each other before Mr. Simmons spoke up "We do not mind either. Let's hurry this process up, shall we? I have a very important business meeting that begins in 2 hours and I don't want to miss it. The losses if I do will be amounts that you could never afford." Mr. Simmons sneered, not forgetting to flaunt his wealth. Tim rolled his eyes - and here they thought this pair of parents was a better guardian than Dick - they could never be. They clearly prioritized their status and work more than their own son - they reminded him of his own neglectful parents.

"Fine. So, Mr Wayne, Mr Damian here was involved in a case of bullying today in school. He had hit young Mr. Albert Simmons here and gave him a bloodied nose and fractured his left arm. Mr. Joel Garcia here was the witness to the situation. We take bullying very seriously here at Gotham Academy, and the punishment for bullying is a week's suspension." Mr. Hansen summarised.

Dick frowned "Damian would have never intentionally provoked someone. What happened, Damian?" Dick asked, turning to face Damian. Damian was not given a chance to share his side of the story when they had pulled the three kids into the office, only relying on what Simmons had said.

"The kid was getting picked on by Simmons for being in math Olympiad and a nerd. No one was helping him as Simmons bashed his face into a locker. He reminded me too much of Drake and so I stepped in and requested that he stop. He ignored my requests and made some very untasteful remarks about Mother and Father. He had also started insulting you and Todd and Drake, so I punched him in the face and tossed him into the lockers. For someone who claims to have a black belt, he sure was a whimp, crying about how his parents will hear about this."

"And is this true, Mr. Garcia?" Dick asked in the general direction of where he thought the kid would be at.

"yes Mr. Wayne, sir. I had tried to tell Mr. Hansen just now but he did not believe me. What Damian has said is true."

"You're only saying that to kiss their ass scholarship boy. Don't listen to him Mr. Hansen. Damian hit me in the face. He should be suspended. Everyone saw it." Another voice spoke up

Dick raised his eyebrows "Scholarship?"

"Yes, the boy is here on a Wayne scholarship." Mr. Hansen replied.

"I see. Well, this seems to be an open and shut case to me. We will not be pressing any charges. Your scholarship will cover your medical expenses if you are injured, Mr. Garcia. Should you wish to press charges against Mr. Simmons for bullying, it is covered as well. If that is all, then we shall be taking our leave." Dick summarized, making a move to stand up.

"Mr. Wayne. You do not seem to realize the severity of the situation here. Mr. Damian has broken the nose and fractured the arm of Mr. Albert with a punch and a throw. Bullying and assault is a serious offence." The principal said.

"Yes, and Mr. Simmons had bashed the face of Mr. Garcia into a locker. Damian saw something wrong and stood up against him, requesting that he stop his behaviour. Furthermore, it would seem to me that Damian only punched Mr. Simmons after Mr. Simmons began insulting his family. I would consider that as self-defence against defamation- would you not Mr. Hansen?" Dick calmly replied, as though he were talking to an extremely dense child. Right at this moment, Damian began crying, sniffling loud enough for the whole room to hear. Dick internally smiled - Damian was such a good actor - but on the outside, Dick quickly put on the face of a worried and confused blind brother, "Dami, you okay? Are you crying? Why are you crying?"

"I'm sorry I punched him, Dick. I didn't mean to. But then he started insulting you and father and Drake and I saw red - the way he was bashing the boy into the lockers - he looked like Drake and I was so worried I was going to lose him again and I didn't think I'm so sorry, Dick. I'm so sorry. Don't send me back to mother. I promise I'll be a good boy and I won't get into fights again. Don't send me back to her," Damian sobbed - a sight to behold. Tim secretly wished that he could record the scene down. No one would believe him if he told them that Damian had actually cried into Dick's thousand dollar suit jacket. Dick reached out and pulled Damian into a hug against his own suit jacket as Damian continued sobbing into it. "Dami. I'm not going to send you back to Talia, okay? Shh, don't cry. It's okay. You're safe now, Dami. You didn't do anything wrong." Dick comforted.

"I'm so sorry Mr. Hansen. It would seem that Damian had acted out due to something that had happened to me last week. See, I was kidnapped and the kidnappers beat me up pretty badly and sent a video of it to my father for ransom money- Damian probably felt that he was reliving memories of what had happened and that's why he is so shaken up. You might have read about it in the news." Tim said, quickly catching on and playing his role. Damn, Dick was a master manipulator. Only he could paint the demon into a scared and frightened child with a few words and actions. Tim shuddered to think about what would happen if Bruce was here - he would probably have believed the principal and jumped to conclusions, letting the bully get away while straining his own relationship with his son. But now - the boy was going to get what was coming to him.

"I think we are done here." Dick said, coldly "Next time, get the relevant facts together before you paint me a picture of my brother as a bully. Tim, could you help me call Wayne Enterprises and let them know that I won't be going back today? Push the meeting to tomorrow. I'm bringing Dami home." The words _"like a proper guardian would when their child was hurt"_ was left unsaid, but rang heavy in the ears of the room.

In one sweep, Dick carried Damian in his arms as Damian continued sniffling into his shoulder. Dick nodded in the direction of the other parents "Mr. Hansen, Miss. Gracia, Mr. and Mrs. Simmons. Tim?"

Tim quickly stood up and took Dick's white cane from him so he could carry Damian properly and said "Huh? Oh yeah - 4 steps forward to your 7"

Dick nodded and moved gracefully in the direction Tim announced and the trio left the room. Once they managed to get close to Tim's car, Damian stopped his show and demanded "Put me down, Grayson. Before you walk me into Drake's car."

Dick laughed and put Damian down, not forgetting to ruffle his hair "Good job Dami. If I hadn't been the one to give you instructions to cry I would have bought your act."

"Tt. If I were to be making a scene of myself crying, I would also make sure that they would never call you or Father in for something as menial as this again." Damian replied smugly as he climbed into the back seat of the Tesla.

Tim and Dick got in as well, and Tim opened his doughnut box to have another doughnut before he started driving.

"Well, since no one is praising me for catching on so quickly with your acts, I will reward myself with a doughnut instead." Tim joked.  Dick laughed again and turned so he was facing Tim. "Good job Timmy. Now, can I have a doughnut as well please?"

"No. You ruined our bonding time by dragging me here. On the other hand - Damian would you like a doughnut? That act you put on was so good it almost made up for your bad timing." Tim said, offering Damian one.

Damian tentatively allowed himself one doughnut - cereal flavoured - his favourite and bit into it.

"Dick say bye to your cereal doughnut - the demon spawn ate it," Tim said with a smirk - sweet sweet revenge

"Aw, Dami why…" Dick replied with a pout.

Deciding that he had allowed Dick to humiliate him enough, he sided with Drake "tt. Drake has banned you from his box of doughnuts but I was offered so you have no say in what I chose to eat. Your performance in the room was superior, Drake. For your assistance in helping me out of this mess - even though I clearly had it under control - you will be given permission to use Grayson for the remainder of the day. I shall be sure to keep Todd and Pennyworth away from you both." Damian announced.

He picked up on what Drake had mentioned - Drake and Grayson were spending time together alone before the call from the principal's office had summoned Grayson down. He felt bad about it and he did not want to owe Drake anything. Yes. That was the reason why. It wasn't because he liked Drake or anything. Psh. No. Drake's an imbecile. He was not going to make himself weak and buy into this 'family' nonsense that Grayson was always talking about.

"Thank you, Damian, for sharing my brother with me. Your offer is acceptable." Tim said, mimicking Damian.

"tt," Damian replied, enjoying his own doughnut.

"Alright, let's get back to the manor - time's a ticking Dickie, my dear brother. Cinderella only gets you until the clock strikes twelve" Tim joked, spirits lifted.

Dick groaned in response "How is this my life"


	20. The Depression Wave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: depression

Dick had been dealing with Depression since he was 8 - it was simply a part of his life. On most days, he could manage his depression as well as the other person could. On other days - it would nag at him, never shutting up. Dick hated those days. His depression always hit him in waves - it would start out small, things like recurring nightmares about THAT NIGHT in an endless loop, or just not having the energy to pick up phone calls or reply text messages. It would end with him not eating and just itching to feel something other than numbness - and that's when Bruce or Alfred would pick up on it and get him back on his antidepressants.

 

The never ending feeling of nothing started after his parents died. Dick either found himself going through the motions of life to please his new foster parent and Alfred, or burying himself in trying to find justice for his parents. It stopped a little after Zucco was apprehended by Batman and Dick began training to become Robin. But even then, the sadness clung to him like a leech - his mind would find a way to convince him that he was not good enough- and he would secretly train in the cave when Bruce went out. Must be perfect. The voices nagged at him - guilt ate away at him. His nightmares kept him awake at night so he stopped sleeping altogether. Bruce and Alfred initially thought it was due to his fresh grief over his parents. It wasn't until 4 months later when Alfred put his foot down and insisted that Bruce took him to a doctor to see what could be done about his insomnia. It didn't take many visits for the doctor to diagnose him with suational depression - they said that his depression was due to the recent loss of his parents. Bruce and Alfred understood - the boy was only 8. Of course, the doctor had been wrong, and his issues eventually ran deeper than just the loss of his parents. Dick hated the term - depression. He wasn't sad. No. He just didn't know what he wanted to do with his life now that his whole world was 6ft under. 8 year old Dick believed that he had to be perfect for his new guardian to want him. With his parents - he had always been accepted and loved - but he knew how others outside of the circus saw him. He was defective. Broken. Failed his vison test a few minutes after being born. His short stay in the Juvenile detention had assured him of that. No one in the right mind would want him. Bruce didn't want him - no - he must be pitying him. Dick had to be perfect for Bruce to want him. So he lied through his teeth and faked being okay. It didn't take much for the doctor to tell Bruce that Dick is coping now, he's better. His tiny ruse worked and soon, everyone around him believed that he was okay. But no. He was not okay. It all fell apart when the death anniversary of his parents rounded the corner. The nightmares never stopped. He felt more useless than ever. 9 year old Dick didn't know what was wrong with him. Math was no longer fun, Barbara became annoying with her incessant texting, Alfred and Bruce probably hated him. Alfred was probably punishing him by making the food taste bland. Robin was benched because he wasn't good enough. He would never be good enough in the sighted world that everyone else around him stayed in. He missed his parents.  So he stopped sleeping to stop the nightmares, and he stopped eating. Alfred and Bruce had let it go initially as they thought the boy was mourning his parents now that their death anniversary was rounding the corner. Bruce remembered when his parents died, he didn't want to do anything but hide in his room and cry. He assumed that was what Dick was feeling, and didn't push it. Then Dick had a panic attack and fainted in school. That was the first sign to Bruce and Alfred that Dick was Not Okay.  When he woke up, a very concerned Dr Dinah Lance was trying to talk to him about feelings. Dick broke down and told her everything regarding his civilian life. It wasn't after that he realised that she was Black Canary. Bruce told him that he could tell her about problems with Robin as well. And he did. This time round though - Dinah didn't tell him what was wrong with him, only reassuring him that everything was going to be okay. Dick didn't believe her - why would he? Nothing was okay and nothing was ever going to be okay again. Outside, Dinah pulled Bruce aside and told him that Dick was most likely suffering from a depressive episode. Bruce informed her that the previous doctor had diagnosed him with situational depression but after just 5 weeks, Dick began to show signs that he was getting better and they had dropped the whole thing altogether. Dinah frowned and told Bruce to find a better psychiatrist for Dick. And find a better psychiatrist he did. Bruce spent the next week reading and researching Doctors, reading their research, their theses and judging their competence. Dr Joseph diagnosed Dick with Major Depressive Disorder. He was prescribed antidepressants and made to go for therapy once a week. Slowly, he got better and learned how to manage his depression. But the heavy blanket that draped itself over Dick never left.

Three years later, 12 year old Dick was saddled with another diagnoses - Dysthymia, or, chronic depression. Therapy helped. It did. Robin talked to Dinah about the stress of being Robin, while Dick Grayson talked to Dr Joseph about his civilian issues. But even therapy couldn't stop Double Depression. He hated it. Hated it when a major depressive episode silently clawed its way into his life, and things that already took energy for him to deal with took even more energy. He hated the feeling of hopelessness, the feeling of never-ending emptiness, the feeling that he was never going to be good enough. Sometimes it would catch him off-guard and he would go about life assuming that it was just his chronic depression being a bitch. They lasted from as short as two weeks to as long as months. Alfred was always the first to notice. Notice that his surrogate grandson hadn't been sleeping or eating. Notice that his young charge's smile never quite reached his eyes. Wally and Barbara were usually the next to pick up on the symptoms and raise the alert. Wally would pick up that Robin didn't let loose his cackle on one of their missions, or that his best friend had not made a snarky comment on his terrible joke. Barbara would notice that star-student and genius Dick Grayson just stopped caring about submitting homework. That her best friend barely had the energy to reply to her texts or return her calls. Bruce, ever emotionally constipated guardian was always the last to notice. Bruce, ever emotionally incompetent, always managed to make it worse when he was just trying to show that he cared. Bruce, the ever over protective and logical man would insist Dick eat his medication, and would monitor his pill intake in fear that Dick would stop caring about himself and stop his medication. When the team found out about his depression, they would always do what they can to help. Me'gann could always feel it happening before Dick himself was aware. According to Me'gann, it was like Dick's emotional glow would become dampened with black. Somewhere during his second double depression episode with the team, Conner came up with the idea of a cuddle jail. Whenever Dick was having one of his double depressive episodes while with them, they would cuddle him and take turns telling him reasons they loved him. And then Jason came along. Very soon - he became the first to notice whenever a Major Depressive episode would creep up on Dick. He picked up on his tells - Dick would encourage and praise him for every little thing he did. Dick would suddenly tell Jason that Jason was good for Bruce and sappy stuff like that. Jason obviously hated it initially- but after the first time Dick had a major depressive episode around him, he got it. He really did. Dick's brain was probably telling him stupid shit like he wasn't loved, or that he was useless - as if Dick wasn't an actual living breathing golden specimen humanity. 12 year old Jason reasoned that Dick behaved that way because he craved reassurances from Jason in return since Bruce was useless and Alfred was a stoic British with a stiff upper lip. And for the first time in his life, he hated being right. He hated it when Depression tainted the gleaming halo around Dick Grayson. Of course he knew Dick had chronic depression - but Dick handled it so well (high-functioning psychopath, they would often joke) that 15 year old Dick Grayson was a literal saint and god to 13 year old Jason. Then 13 year old Jason died and Bruce and Dick were not there for him. No one came. That became a permanent stain on Dick's halo - but even that didn't last long. No- that taint had nothing on Dick's glorious halo when Red Hood held a gun to Nightwing and Nightwing told Red Hood to end it for him. And then Red Hood did some research - he dug and dug and he found out what happened to Dick while he was crawling out from his own grave. And Dick's halo somehow managed to shine brighter in Jason's eyes.

Tim could truthfully say that he had seen Dick at his worst - and he never wanted to experience it ever again. 9 year old Tim Drake would much rather deal with grieving asshole Batman any day over a self-destructive Dick Grayson. Dick Grayson was Tim Drake's idol - Tim remembered being so fascinated with Dick Grayson's acrobatic abilities. That was how he stumbled across the realization that Dick Grayson was once Robin. Acrobat Dick Grayson was breathtaking - the man couldn't see his own stunts but his audiences would never forget how he would be able to gracefully soar across the air. Robin Dick Grayson was fearless - Robin could stare at Joker in the face and laugh about foiling Joker's plans. The amount of confidence Robin turned Nightwing exuded was astonishing. But then it all fell apart - the second Robin died and Batman went mad. Nightwing just stopped caring altogether. Robin saw how Nightwing didn't even bother blocking any attacks and just allowed thugs to stab him. Nightwing would allow himself to carry multiple injuries and simply continue fighting. Nightwing would go out even if he was hurting all over. Nightwing tried to kill himself. Dick Grayson fell from the high pedestal Tim had put him on. Dick Grayson didn't care and allowed Bruce and Batman to shower him in barrages of insults about how he isn't good enough. Dick Grayson was self-destructive and couldn't care less about what happened to himself. Dick Grayson was a living zombie that didn't sleep, didn't eat, didn't respond to what anyone was saying to him. He was glad that Wally West pulled him through because it was all too much for 9 year old Tim Drake to take. It wasn't that Dick didn't care about Tim - no, Tim was used to being alone. No - it was seeing his idol spiral down the path to self-destruct. It was seeing Dick crumpled in a corner of the Batcave talking himself out of a panic attack. Seeing Dick Grayson folded in a corner in his room crying and hyperventilating and shaking. From being passively suicidal to actively planning and enacting on plans to end his own life. That was what Tim saw the first time he was dosed with Fear Toxin. Dick taking his own life and Tim being too late to stop him. No matter what age he was - Tim never ever wanted to experience that ever again. Tim did his research and simply tried to be Dick's safety net as often as he could.

 

Damian had obviously never experienced double-depressed Richard before. He had only managed to come to the conclusion that Richard was depressed from the scars of self-inflected cuts on Richard's arms. He had a rough idea of what depression was, and Richard's history with it, thanks to Gordon, Todd and Drake. Although, it was terribly difficult for him to imagine Richard as depressed. Todd informed him that Richard had chronic depression - meaning that he was constantly depressed. How could the man who was always smiling and cuddling everyone be constantly depressed? The image did not match up in his head. The only symptom Richard had showed was his constant inability to fall asleep, and he had medications that could help with that. Although, Damian did not understand what being unable to sleep had to do with Depression. Damian detests the word Depression. Depression meant that Damian's mentor constantly felt worthless. Richard was most assuredly not worthless, nor was he Depressed. No. Damian's mentor was nothing short of perfection.

 

Damian was less than pleased when he noticed that Todd had been asking Richard more and more if he was feeling okay to the point of multiple times in a day. Especially after Richard praised any of them for something they had done. Damian didn't see an issue with Richard's ever growing praise for himself. He quite enjoyed and relished the attention his mentor showered him with. Richard always replied Todd with a variation of "I'm fine, lil' wing" or "I'm okay, baby bird". Lil' Wing and Baby Bird was just another new addition to Richard's somehow ever growing list of nicknames for Todd. Damian had been most definitely _not pleased_ when Alfred suggested Richard start taking his antidepressants. His Father's head had shot up when Alfred suggested that over dinner. Father studied Richard with such intensity that he could have secretly developed laser vision. Richard merely sat at the dinner table, fork pushing the food on his plate around. He gave Alfred one of his signature smiles before assuring everyone once again that he was fine. Then, he excused himself from the dinner table, saying that he was tired and wanted to rest. Once he was out of earshot, Todd spoke up with a scowl on his face "He's not fine." Cassandra nodded her agreement "Dick trembling." Alfred added his own opinion "He's hardly eating anything I prepare. And I prepared his favorite food tonight." Drake - ever the extra - had to thrown in his own observations as well "His health tracker shows that he has hardly been sleeping." Father assessed everyone's report before speaking "So we're in agreement then." Everyone nodded, Todd adding in "He never calls me Baby Bird unless he's having an major episode. And he called me Baby Bird 12 times in 3 days."

Damian decided that his opinion on the matter should be heard as well. They were talking about his mentor after all. "Richard is fine. He's merely being more emotive the past few days."

Father studied him while Todd scowled. "He is not fine. You literally spend all your time with him. Did you not notice anything different at all? How he barely bothers to teach you anything new in training. How he praises you for every little thing. Hell he praised Tim for waking up. Waking Up. Like that's something you praise other people about."

"Richard has always gone the extra mile to praise everyone for doing simple things. It is no surprise he found a need to praise Drake for managing to behave like a normal person." Damian defended.

Todd's scowl deepened and Damian sensed that there was something deeper at play "So you do not think that Dick is behaving out of character. You can very honestly say that Dick not bothering to teach you anything new in training is normal. How he barely manages to drag himself to work every morning is normal. You don't think that there is anything wrong. At. All."

Damian fell silent at Todd's words. Richard had indeed been behaving out of character recently.

"Yeah. That's what I thought." Todd summarized.

"Should we- should we tell Wally?" Drake suggested, clearly uncomfortable about discussing Richard's mental health.

Father considered Drake's suggestion for a moment. Damian still didn't understand what the fuss was about. Sure Richard was behaving a little abnormally - but that was no reason to get upset or contact others for help. As Damian struggled with his inner thoughts, Father spoke up "Alfred, I trust you'll see to it that Dick eats his antidepressants and sleeping pills? I'll contact Wally and Barbara to let them know. This one might be a strong one - his parent's death anniversary is just around the corner, and he doesn't seem to want to face it unlike the few previous times. We need to watch for signs of self-harm or suicidal behavior."

 

Alfred gave Bruce an affirmative nod and set off to complete his task. Jason turned and asked Cass "What did you mean by Dick was trembling?"

Cass frowned for a moment, unable to find the right words, she signed _"His hands were shaking when we were sparring. He's sloppy and disinterested. Dick's never sloppy unless he's sad."_

Tim frowned "Do you think he's already started cutting. The shaking I mean. His hands are itching to cut."

Jason frowned as well, asking Cass "Did he purposely let you hit him more than usual?"

Cass paused, thinking, before her eyes widened in horror and she nodded.

"Fuck! It's worse than I thought." Jason cursed.

Bruce looked confused "What do you mean."

Jason sighed, running a hand through his hair before facing Bruce "Remember when I told you that Dick had tells before one of his episodes? One of it is when he starts calling me baby bird. My theory is that his stupid brain is telling him shit like 'Jason isn't your brother' or 'Jason doesn't care' when we're talking, so he unconsciously calls me Baby Bird to affirm that I'm his baby brother. Hearing me respond to the words "baby bird" relaxes him."

At Bruce's nod, Jason continued "Tim and I have another theory that when he's having an episode, he just can't bring himself to bother - and sometimes, he gets injured on purpose so that he can enjoy the bursts of pain-induced endorphin release. So, if he's started doing that, it's only logical that he would start intentionally hurting himself to feel the excitement."

Damian frowned "Richard wouldn't be stupid enough to do that to himself again."

"No. he's an idiot and so it's not beyond him to do something like that." Jason said.

Tim sighed "Especially once he's started. It's hard to get him to stop. It's like a drug addiction. He'll always crave it."

Bruce's frown deepened "Look out for fresh scarring or bandages around his forearms. I'm calling the team in."

"It is times like this where I am grateful for the strong safety net Master Dick has." Alfred said, apparently having completed his mission upstairs. "I managed to convince Master Dick to take his sleeping pills, but not his antidepressants. I did not want to push it too much as he might be sensitive about it right now."

That night, Damian found it hard to fall asleep. He did not wish to admit that there was something wrong with Richard. No. His mentor was perfect. Stupid, but perfect. Cassandra had somehow slipped into his room without him noticing. Damian liked Cassandra. She used to be an assassin. She was graceful and efficient. She didn't speak anymore than unnecessary, unlike Todd or Drake. But tonight, Damian was not so sure he liked Cassandra anymore. She was looking at Damian in pity. Damian hated the look on her face. However, he also knew he was not skilled enough to take down Cassandra. Scowling at her from his bed, he said "What do you want."

Cassandra smiled, and pointed at herself, then Damian's bed, asking "Seat here?"

"Tt. Fine. Now tell me what you're here for."

Seating down on the other side of Damian's bed, Cassandra asked in sign _"Is it okay if I sign?"_

"Yes."

_"You are confused as to what is going on"_

"No."

 _"Yes. You think everyone is over-reacting._ "

"Maybe"

Cassandra sighed.

_"Dick's been behaving abnormally, yes?"_

"Yes, but it is hardly of the levels of concern that everyone has deigned the situation require."

_"No. It is. They are - signs"_

"Signs of?"

_"Double depression"_

"Tt. No one can get double their depression. It is a mood disorder. If he already feels terrible, then he can't possibly feel twice as terrible."

_"Dick can. You'll see. It's scary."_

"It can hardly be worse than what I've been made to see when under my grandfather."

" _No. Worse than panic attacks. You'll see."_

"Tt"

Cassandra looked frustrated at how the conversation was going. Tentatively she tried again

_"He hates himself. Normally he doesn't show. But now he will. Panic Attacks. Not eating. Not sleeping because nightmares."_

"Richard has the most inflated self-esteem I've ever seen. He doesn't hate himself."

_"He does. He hides behind mask of confidence - but not real him. You'll see."_

"I refuse to believe anything of that sort until I see it for myself."

Cassandra sighed again. Verbally, she said "Be nice. Observe Dick."

Then, she left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, just wanted to explain some of the decisions I have made in writing this story. Depression often doesn't only affect the person who has it only - others around the one who has depression often struggle to cope with it as well. For example, Tim is very uncomfortable with the whole topic, as it reminds him of one of the darkest moments of his life. Imagine being 9 years old and finally meeting your idol, only for you to find out that he has subjected himself to a path of self-destruction, with no care at all about how he treats his body. So every time the topic is discussed, he's afraid of reliving his worst nightmare and seeing Dick spiral again.   
> Damian, on the other hand, is showing signs of rejection of Dick's depression. He is in denial that someone he genuinely cares about actually hates himself. It is harder to accept that Dick is depressed, even if all the signs are screaming in his face - because that would mean that he was a monster to his older brother. For someone who was secretly struggling with his self-esteem, all Damian has done was to constantly verbalise any thoughts and doubts Dick had about himself. So, the easiest way for him to cope with these conflicting feelings is no deny everything that he has learnt and insist that Dick was okay - so that Damian could comfort himself that he was not a monster.   
> This is going to be a long drabble - probably 4 to 5 parts. It'll be exploring how depression affects not just Dick, but everyone around him as well (Bruce, Alfred, Wally, Barbara, the brothers etc).
> 
> Depression can manifest itself in many ways, and if you suspect your friend or loved ones have depression, just be there for them. As you will find out in later chapters, sometimes trying to help and reassuring someone who is depressed is only going to backfire on you and make it worse (personal experience).


	21. The Depression Wave (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: depression

Dick woke up to the familiar sight of nothing. His clock announced that it was 4.12 am. Sighing, he woke up and decided to check in on the various members of his family. He needed to know that they were all back safe and sleeping like they should. Alfred had assured him the previous night that he would personally see to it that all members of the family got back safely, and he would be informed if they required his help. As much as he did not wish to sleep, he managed to negotiate his way out of eating antidepressants - little wins. Sleeping meant never ending repeats of reliving his parent's death, of how he had failed everyone. Alfred, Bruce, Jason, Barbara, Wally, Tim, Damian, his parents - everyone. _Failure, Disappointment._ His brain reminded him. Quietly, he made his way to Jason's room. Hearing Jason's snores through the door, he relaxed slightly, before heading over to Tim's room. From outside, he could hear Tim mumbling something incoherent - probably dreaming then. Next was Bruce's room. As Dick closed the distance between Bruce's room and Tim's, he could hear Tim's mumbling get louder - nightmare then. Turning around to go in and comfort his brother, his brain reminded him _"You've been neglecting him for so long. Useless. He probably doesn't want to see you. He doesn't need you. Have you already forgotten that he replaced you with Jason?"_

Shaking his thoughts away, he gently made his way into Tim's room, carefully threading his way to Tim's bed. It's been a while since he entered, and he didn't know if Tim had changed his room's layout or left clothes lying around on the floor - he didn't want to trip or bang into something accidentally and wake Tim up. _"Worthless. Can't even see. It's no wonder that you're a burden to everyone."_  Gently, he traced the outline of Tim's bed and figured out where Tim's body was relative to the bed. Just as he took a seat on Tim's bed, Tim shot up with a loud "No!"

Figuring that Tim was awake now, and Dick decided to say something.

_"He doesn't need you. You were replaced with Jason. Don't be extra. No one asked for you to check in on them like some creep."_

Pushing a smile onto his face, Dick faced Tim and asked "Heya Timmy. You ok?"

"Di-Dick?"

"Yeah - it's me buddy. I'm here"

"I- I'm sorry"

_"Stupid. Now you've made him upset. Can't do anything right"_

"What are you sorry about?"

"For waking you up - you barely get enough sleep but now you have to deal with my nightmares"

"Don't say that. Wanna talk about it?"

"I- no. Can you just stay here though- it's- it's okay if you don't want to"

_"He doesn't want you here. He's kindly hinting for you to leave."_

"Course I can Timmy - go back to sleep. I'll be here"

"Th-thanks Dick."

"No problem" Dick replied as he gently placed his hand protectively on Tim's chest.

_"Creep."_

Dick sighed - maybe he really should consider what Alfred said and take his antidepressants.

_"Hopeless. Can't even deal with your emotions like a normal person."_

The voices have been getting louder recently, and he did feel more emotionally drained and tired than usual.

_"Tragic. Weak. Pointing out a few simple facts and you start crumbling."_

Tuning himself out, Dick focused on listening to Tim's breathing, which was returning to normal rates - after sitting in his brother's bed for an unknown amount of time, he decided to get up and check on Bruce, Damian and Cass.

_"What a joke. You promised to stay here for him but now you're leaving him again. No wonder you were replaced."_

Quietly making his way out back to the hall, his brain reminded him _"If Bruce or Cass catches you trying to check in on them, they're going to worry about you AGAIN. You know that they will know that you were there checking on them. Can't you ever do anything right? Burden."_

Softly, Dick stood outside Bruce's room making sure that his father was asleep. Hearing Bruce's snore drift out of his door, Dick made his way to check in on Damian.

_"He doesn't need you to check in on him. He's more than capable of handling himself."_

From outside, he could hear Damian turning in his bed. Deciding that there were no signs of distress coming from Damian, he made his way to Cassandra's room. Standing outside Cass' room, he hesitated - Cass never snored and he couldn't check in on her without accidentally waking her up.

_"Selfish prick. Let her sleep. Why must you risk waking her up for you own benefit?"_

Deciding that Cass was capable enough to handle herself - and not wanting to risk waking her up, Dick made his way back to Tim's room.

_"So now you're playing favorites. Everyone but Cassandra gets a check in. No need to wonder why she doesn't like you."_

 As Dick was about to make his way to Tim's room, a sudden intense wave of fear gripped him. Oh no. A panic attack. Not now. Please no. Not outside here. But panic attacks don't care about what he wants. _"Nobody ever does."_ His brain very helpfully reminded.

"Deep breaths, Dick you can do this. Deep Breaths." Dick thought to himself as his heart started beating so fast it hurt. The floor below him gave way as he collapsed in a heap to the ground, unable to breathe.

_"You're going crazy."_

"No. This is not real." Dick repeated to himself aloud as he forced himself to take a deep breathe in. God, how it hurt.

_"You're losing it Dickie. You're going to die for real this time."_

"This is not real." Dick said as his hands went to grab his head, his legs tucked in his chest and his elbows rested on his knees. He can't breathe. It hurts to breathe. His heart was still clenching so tightly. Death by heart attack. Fitting. Just another part of him that fails to work normally.

_"Useless. Damaged goods."_

"This is not real. This is not real. This is not real. This is not real." Dick repeated aloud, his heart pounding and ready to jump out of his chest. Hurts. Everything hurts. He's going to die.

 

"Dick!"

 

_"Great, now you're hallucinating"_

"This is not real." Dick asserted to himself again. Fuck his depression. Fuck his panic disorder. Fuck everything.

 

"Dick! Breathe. You safe. Breathe. Yes, Good. Breathe. Follow me." A female voice said, gently grabbing his hands out of his head and moving them to her chest. "Follow me. In. Out. Good. In. Out."

 

Every breath hurt. They don't understand. He's going to die!

_"Loony"_

 

"Deep breaths Dick. You can do this. You're strong. You're safe. You can do this. In. Out. Good job Dick. In. Out." A new voice joined in.

It Hurts.

 

"In. Out. You're safe Dick. You're not going to die. In. Out"

After what seemed like forever, his breathing slowly went back to normal rates as his heart slowed to normal speeds.

"Good job Dick." The voice said. "It's me. I'm Bruce. Can I hug you?"

Numbly, Dick nodded as his brain tried to recall who Bruce was. Oh right. His father. Vaguely his brain registered the presence of other people around him but he was too tired to care. Panic attacks were very draining.

 

_"You're so useless. Couldn't even have a panic attack in silence."_

"I'm sorry" Dick cried into his father's shoulder.

_"Lousy excuse for a person. You just had to wake everyone up didn't you. Burden"_

"I'm sorry" Dick repeated, as Bruce's hold on him tightened.

_"You're so weak. Couldn't even talk yourself out of it"_

"Please stop. I'm sorry. Please stop." Dick sobbed into Bruce, willing the voices in his head to stop.

_"You're nothing but excess baggage. Nobody needs you. You thought you were checking in on them but Nooo now they're the ones checking to see if you're okay. Nothing but trouble. You're a hindrance to them. They would be better off without you."_

"Stop. Please. I'm sorry. I won't let it happen again. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

_"Nothing but empty promises. You're not really sorry"_

"I'm sorry. I am. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Dick repeated, as if it was a mantra. His heart started pumping very quickly again. Oh no. Please don't be a second panic attack.

 

3rd person POV

 

As Bruce gathered Dick into a hug, he noticed his son was crying. Cass was standing to the side with Damian, Tim and Jason, a look of worry plastered on their faces. Cass was already with Dick by the time Bruce came out of his room. She was the first to hear Dick fall to the ground and quickly made her way to him. Bruce figured his other sons were also awakened by the thump of Dick's body collapsing onto the ground. Bruce quickly took control of the situation, thankful that Cass was with Dick for the first half of it. It was a long attack - Bruce figured it had probably been 20 plus minutes.

 

Jason frowned as he watched Dick sob into Bruce's shoulder. He was very worried about his older brother's mental state. He kept repeating that he was sorry while crying. Damian had a look of horror plastered onto his face, as if he couldn't comprehend why this was happening. Poor boy. It must be difficult for him to see Dick like this. He remembered how scared he was the first time Dick had a panic attack in front of him. And he was 17 years old then. A little pit-mad, but still - he was nearly twice Damian's age and almost went into panic himself as Nightwing lay in Robin's arms bleeding while having a panic attack.

"I'm Sorry" Dick said.

"Chum. It's okay. Let it out." Bruce said

"I'm sorry" Dick repeated.

"It's okay buddy. I've got you." Bruce replied as he tightened his hold on his son. It hurts to see him like that.

"Please stop. I'm sorry. Please stop." Dick said, eyes glazed - he didn't seem to be registering what Bruce was saying.

"Dick?" Bruce asked, still hugging Dick.

"Stop. Please. I'm sorry. I won't let it happen again. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Dick said

"Okay. I'll stop talking if that's what you want." Bruce said, sounding unsure.

"I'm sorry. I am. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Dick started repeating as his breath hitched. Cass was the first to notice something was wrong. "Panic Attack Again!"

Bruce very quickly let go of Dick to observe his son. He was beyond worried at this point - this was the first time Dick was getting two consecutive panic attacks in a row. On the rare occasions that Dick had consecutive panic attacks, they would usually happen after hours, not minutes.

Dick's breathes started getting shorter - he was hyperventilating. His hands were clutching his heart as tears fell from his face.

 

"I'm here for you Dick. Breathe. In and Out. In. Out. I know it's hard, but try to pace your breathing okay?" Bruce said, placing Dick's hand on his chest and taking in deep breaths himself.

"I'm here. You're safe. In and Out." Bruce repeated, worry lacing his voice. He noticed that Dick's breathing did not slow down, and he could feel just how fast Dick's heart was beating. Tim seemed to have noticed the same thing, as he said "I'm gonna go get some sedatives," and quickly left. Bruce sighed inwardly - his second youngest was still uncomfortable every time he saw Dick having a panic attack. Turning back to pay attention to Dick, he noticed Dick was still struggling with breathing and his panic attack seemed to be hitting its high.

"In and Out Dick. You've got this. You can do it. This is not real. You're safe. I'm here with you. Breathe. In and Out."

Tim very quickly returned with the sedative and injected it into Dick, who flinched as his panic continued. After a few minutes, he breathing slowed and he fell asleep.

Bruce gathered his son in his arms and carried him to his room. Gently, he placed Dick down in his bed and covered him. God, it was already 7.30am. Running a hand down his face, he decided to call him and Dick in as sick for work today and tomorrow. No way he was going to let his son go to work when he was in this condition. Dick looked so frail and thin from under the sheets. He's a terrible father. How is it that he was always the last to notice Dick's mental illness eating him up alive? Gently, he placed his arm protectively over Dick and watched his son sleep. He didn't want Dick to wake up alone thinking that nobody cared about him. Motioning for Jason to stay with his brother while he went to clean himself up and take over watch duty, Bruce left. 45minutes later, Bruce returned with breakfast for Jason, as well as his laptop. He would get some work done in Dick's room. Tim had a paper today that he couldn't miss, while Alfred had sent Damian to school. When he had left Dick's room, he had noticed Cass talking to Damian, who seemed to be in shock. He briefly wondered what Cass was doing now. Jason took his breakfast from Bruce with a smile as he continued to look at Dick in worry.

"Do you ever wonder - what his mind tortures him with?" Jason asked suddenly.

Bruce sighed. "I do. I can't help but feel that no amount of research and understanding is going to help me comprehend what he goes through on a daily basis. I would do anything in my power to help him- but more often than not I just make it worse."

Jason hummed in response. The two fell into silence for a while before he spoke up again "I asked him before- he told me it was like having another you in his head critically telling him what he was doing wrong. All the time. But that's just his normal dysthymia. I can't even fathom what goes on in his mind when he's going through a Major Depressive episode on top of all the crap his mind already drags him through on a daily basis. I'm not really sure I want to know either. Must be fucking terrible enough for him to never have enough strength to do anything."

Not knowing what to say to Jason's sharing, Bruce said "Wally and the team are coming over in the early afternoon. Barbara will drop by tomorrow"

Looking up from his laptop, he saw that Jason looked like he wanted to say something but didn't know how to.

"What?"

"I don’t- I just. I was the cause of all this. He developed a panic disorder because of me."

"Jason that's not-"

"No. Before you blame this on yourself - and I fully think that you're responsible too - but sometimes I just wonder ya'know, how different life would be if I hadn't ran away. I mean - Shelia Haywood and hindsight are bitches. If only I had been smarter I would have probably seen her betrayal coming before she had a chance to sell me out to the bastard."

"Jason we cannot change the past."

The two fell into companionable silence again, as Bruce worked on his laptop while Jason just stared at his brother's sleeping form. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, just wanted to explain some of the decisions I have made in writing this story. Depression often doesn't only affect the person who has it only - others around the one who has depression often struggle to cope with it as well. For example, Tim is very uncomfortable with the whole topic, as it reminds him of one of the darkest moments of his life. Imagine being 9 years old and finally meeting your idol, only for you to find out that he has subjected himself to a path of self-destruction, with no care at all about how he treats his body. So every time the topic is discussed, he's afraid of reliving his worst nightmare and seeing Dick spiral again.  
> Damian, on the other hand, is showing signs of rejection of Dick's depression. He is in denial that someone he genuinely cares about actually hates himself. It is harder to accept that Dick is depressed, even if all the signs are screaming in his face - because that would mean that he was a monster to his older brother. For someone who was secretly struggling with his self-esteem, all Damian has done was to constantly verbalise any thoughts and doubts Dick had about himself. So, the easiest way for him to cope with these conflicting feelings is no deny everything that he has learnt and insist that Dick was okay - so that Damian could comfort himself that he was not a monster.  
> This is going to be a long drabble - probably 4 to 5 parts. It'll be exploring how depression affects not just Dick, but everyone around him as well (Bruce, Alfred, Wally, Barbara, the brothers etc).
> 
> Depression can manifest itself in many ways, and if you suspect your friend or loved ones have depression, just be there for them. As you will find out in later chapters, sometimes trying to help and reassuring someone who is depressed is only going to backfire on you and make it worse (personal experience).


	22. The Depression Wave (Part 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW for mentions of suicide

"Good Morning my little Robin, did you enjoy your sleep last night?" his Mami's pleasant voice asked as the thumps of his tati's footsteps coming from in front of him signaled that his Tati was joining them.

"I had a dream last night Mami, I was flying! I was flying, and I didn't bump into anything, and the air smelled like cotton candy!" Little Dick replied, excitedly waving his hands around. He picked up the sounds of his tati moving before smelling the trademark baby powder scent, and quickly dodged out of the way before his tati could attack him. His Tati still caught him anyway, grabbing him into a bear hug as he laughed happily, tiny hands hitting his Tati.

"Tati! No fair!" Dick half shouted as his Tati spun him around in the air, before stopping and using his other hand to grab Mami into a 3 way hug. As the 3 of them enjoyed the warm hug, the smell of burned pancakes filled the air, and Dick said "Mami! Your pancakes are burning again!" while Tati laughed in his soft but strong voice. Mami sounded like the angels she always spoke to Dick about, while Tati sounded like the sound of sea waves he heard the one time they bought him to the beach.

.

.

.

"Hey chum, how was your stay with Barbara? Didn't cause Commissioner Gordon any trouble now, did you?" Bruce asked, his voice filled with fondness. Bruce had a nice voice, like the cello from the performance Alfred insisted he attend.

"It's always a pleasure to have Dick over, Bruce" Commissioner Gordon replied in his gruff voice,  but also velvety and nice all the same. Dick made sure to direct is brightest smile in the commissioner's direction, before replying "Thank you for having me, commissioner Gordon. I hope I didn't cause too much trouble for you! Barbara and I had a great time!"

He felt Bruce gently tapping his hand, and so he grabbed it, taking it as his cue to say bye. "Bye Commissioner, Bye Barbara!" Dick said, before following Bruce's lead. His left hand was grabbing Bruce's arm while his right hand clutched onto his white cane loosely as Bruce softly voiced any obstacles in his way, telling him about the weather and describing the sky to him. He didn't have the heart to tell Bruce that Bruce sucked at describing things and he still had no idea what Bruce was talking about.

.

.

.

"Hey Dickhead! Stop being lame over there and come help me with this!" Jason's voice drifted over to Dick, who was currently trying to complete his homework.

"What do you need, babybird?" Dick asked, making his way over to Jason.

"You're a math genius right? Given that a and b are positive integers such that ab+1 divides a^2 + b^2, how do you show that it is the square of an integer?" Jason asked, clearly annoyed at the question that has bumfuzzled him for the past hour.

"Hey! I recognise that question! It's from the 1988 math Olympiad, isn't it?" Dick asked, intrigued.

"Dude! How big of a nerd actually are you?" Jason asked, pushing him slightly "You know what, I don't even want to know. Just tell me how to solve this already! Math is boring"

Dick chuckled before responding "And I didn't read lord of the flies 12 times because it's a "piece of classic literature". How about you repeat that question to me again, slower this time."

"a and b are positive integers such that ab+1 divides a^2 + b^2. Show that it is the square of an integer"

"Oh, that's easy, you just gotta Vieta jump!"

"Speak human, please" Jason retorted in his somewhat high pitched boyish voice as Dick moved to ruffle his baby brother's hair.

.

.

.

"How do you always win at this!" Barbara exclaimed, pushing Dick ever so slightly as he threw his head back and laughed. They were seated on the comfy sofa at Babs' apartment in central Gotham, playing Mortal Kombat.

"You're just really bad at this game, Babs."

"I'm not! I'm literally ranked top 50 globally in this game. You must have hacked it or something"

"Nah. I'm sure you're just really bad. Think about it, you lost to a blind guy at video games. Can't get any worse than that!" Dick responded with a smirk plastered on his face. Barbara was about to reply when the door bell rang.

"Must be our pizza, im gonna grab the door and then I will kick your ass once and for all" Barbara replied, patting Dick's shoulder as she left.

 

A gun shot rang out, and Dick was in hell.

 

"It's your fault I'm in a wheelchair. You should have gotten the door. Why didn't you? Why weren't you there when I needed you the most?"

_I wasn't even in the same state when this happened._

"You could have saved me, why didn't you? Where were you when the joker blew me up, Dick? You promised you would be there for me, but where were you?"

_I  just came back from an overseas mission and i was dead tired. I didn't know you sneaked out._

"You were careless out there tonight. You could have gotten those civilians out there killed! Why couldn't you have just followed my instructions? Just go."

_The little boy would have died if I followed your instructions. It still worked out in the end, didn't it? We saved all of them._

"Oh little Robin, why didn't you save us? It's your fault you didn't inform anyone that you knew something was wrong. It's your fault that we're dead. We died because of you, Dick. Us and so many others you've killed."

_I - maybe you're right. This is my fault, and I should stop making up excuses for my wrongdoings._

.

.

.

"No, please, I didn't kill anyone, I didn't kill anyone"

.

.

.

The voices became disembodied as they merged together.

"You killed me, Dick. You killed Batgirl. You killed Barbara Gordon. You killed whatever love that could have been between us. You killed my father, Dick. He can't look at me without being reminded that his precious daughter now has to live with a disability like this for the rest of her life. You killed me, Dick. You killed me when you never showed up like you promised you would. You killed by ability to trust people with my life after you broke your promise to me. You don't deserve this second chance you have with me. You killed me, Dick. You killed me when you stormed out of the manor and refused to talk to me. You killed what little hope I had when you left me alone to deal with Jason's death. You killed me, Dick. You killed me when you said you would spend more time with me but turned on your words and spent them with the demon, who tried to kill me the first time we met. You killed what little our relationship had when stopped paying attention to me. You killed me, Dick. You killed me when I begged you not to hurt yourself but you continued to anyways. You killed me because I had to give up everything to help you get better. You killed me, Dick. You killed me when you killed my boyfriend. Why did you do that to him? You don't deserve to have Wally as your best friend. See, little Robin? You're poison. Everyone you came in contact who cared about you dies. Just like we did.  You killed them. Nobody needs poison in their lives. Why don't you just do everyone a favor and kill yourself this time instead, hmm?"

.

.

.

_No. Don't listen to them, they're lying._

"Oh little Robin, we're not lying, just pointing out some facts. Unlike you, we present an objective truth." The disembodied voices said.

_Why does everything hurt so much?_

"you deserve it"

.

.

.

"Hey, Dickie? Are you awake? It's just a dream, come, on, wake up"

_This is not real, don't go crazier than you already are, Dick. Don't engage. Nobody cares about you anyway._

"B, he's not waking up. What should we do?"

"Can you pass me the tissues? Let's dry his tears first. Can't imagine it's comfortable for him to sleep with dried tears on his face"

_Do. Not. Engage. It's not real. Interacting with your dreams will only make it worse._

.

.

.

"Masters Bruce and Jason, Master Dick's team is here. Shall I show them in?"

_This dream is getting weirder and weirder by the minute. But if this is a dream, let it continue, please. It's nice to have everyone together in the same room once in a while. Everyone's been so busy these days we don't see each other much. If this is a dream, please do not stop. A little reunion, albeit just in my dreams, would be a nice change._

.

.

.

"M'gann? You okay there?"

"Yeah, just, I'm reading a lot of mental anguish coming from him. I think I'm going to have to go out and build some mental barriers before coming back in"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I need a moment"

.

.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, it's been 6 months since the last update and idek if anyone is still reading this fic but there ya go! More coming soon hopefully.


	23. The Depression Wave (Part 4)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Depression

Bruce was typing away furiously on his laptop while Jason sat beside Dick's bed, reading Aldous Huxley's Brave New World. Dick would be so proud that he's reading all about psychological manipulation and classical conditioning! Just as Mond was telling Bernard that exile is actually a reward, Jason noticed tear tracks rolling down the sides of Dick's cheeks. There was a rawness to looking at his elder brother's previously calm features tense up in fear as the tiny droplets of tears betrayed his "I'm fine" façade. He had hoped that the sedative Tim gave earlier to Dick would be enough to let him have a good rest, but good things could never happen to any of them, and he figured Dick's dreams were tormenting him again.

 

That's what the pit felt like. A collection of all the bad things he'd ever done coming back to haunt him, playing in repeat over and over in his mind, consuming him with guilt, bitterness, and anger. Is that what depression felt like? He didn't know, and he figured he would never find out. Pit madness drove you to want to kill others, not yourself. It made you want to inflict pain on others, never yourself. According to Dick, his symptoms fit that of Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED) better. Hostility, impulsivity, and recurrent aggressive outbursts with lack of apparent provocation or reason. Maybe Pit Madness was just IED? Filing that information away to get Tim to check on later, Jason turned his attention back to Dick,  and he noticed beads of sweat forming on his brother's tightly scrunched face. Deciding to end his elder brother's agony, he shook Dick on the shoulders, hoping to wake him up.

"Hey Dickie bird, wake up. It's just a bad dream."

For good measure, he added "No one's dead."

 

Out of the peripheral of his eye, he noticed Bruce had stopped typing and was walking over to join him. Ignoring his estranged father figure, he tried again, this time tapping Dick's cheeks. "Hey, Dickie? Are you awake? It's just a dream, come, on, wake up"

To his disappointment, his elder brother did not budge one bit or show any signs of waking up. Frowning, he turned to Bruce.

 

"B, he's not waking up. What should we do?"

Bruce frowned. "Can you pass me the tissues? Let's dry his tears first. Can't imagine it's comfortable for him to sleep with dried tears on his face"

"No fucking shit, sherlock" Jason replied in a bitter tone. There it goes again, that unfounded anger.

 

Bruce just gave him a blank look before turning back to dry the tears on Dick's face, dabbing gently. He took in the sunken cheeks and dark eyebags and wondered why he was such a terrible parent. Where did he go wrong? The world's greatest detective should be able to figure depression out, but every time he thought he understood what was going on, Depression, like the evil villain he could never fully defeat long enough to lock away, would slither upon his son and drag him down to the deepest, darkest pits of hell that his mind could conjure up.

Depression, like the villains in Batman's rogue gallery, never stayed down or locked away long enough, and Bruce desperately wished it was something he could hide his son from. But like the Joker, no cell was ever good enough to keep Depression locked up. But Depression wasn't something you could punch and kick and Batman was Useless. Depression made a joke out of Batman and Bruce Wayne. No amount of strength Batman had and no amount of money Bruce Wayne owed could help his son. Bruce Wayne had failed as a father and batman failed as a mentor. He was a failure. He was a failure and now he will watch his son suffer as retribution.

 

Overcome by a sudden feeling of protectiveness, he sat down on Dick's giant bed and clasped Dick's hand in his, just like he used to when Dick was little and everything between them hadn't gone to shit yet. Back when darkness hadn't consumed either of them and Bruce Wayne was a good Dad to Dick Grayson - his son. Son. Son felt so right describing Dick. His eldest. The first. The one who saved him from his own darkness. Son. He tightened his grip. No more nightmares for you. You're safe here, beside me. Where you belong. Don't listen to the voices in your head anymore. Tell me how I can stop this pain for you. My Son. My. Son.

 

Jason crossed his arms as he felt that uncontrollable anger take rein again. Bruce was hunched over, clutching his brother's hand with such gentleness he didn't think it was possible. He wondered if Bruce held his hand like that when he died. Did he ever say goodbye to me in the same soft way? He probably didn't. But this wasn't about him.

 

Jealously was an ugly emotion and Jason was determined not to let it show, especially when the person he was jealous of didn't even deserve half the shit life threw at him. But still. For all that they acted, everyone knew Dick was Bruce's favorite. He'd never saw Bruce hold someone's hand like that before. Not to him, not to Alfred, not to Tim, not to Cass and not even Damian, his own biological son. Then again, Dick had always been the most lovable of the lot. He's a lot like the Sun, drawing everyone close, radiating light and warmth everywhere he went. Anything graced by his presence would shimmer in the same brightness, anything touched by his rays - like fingers stretching across a darkened sky, would prompt bright smiles and even brighter grins. But the sun, it's only bright due to the all-consuming darkness surrounding it. The all-consuming darkness. Surrounding Dick. Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp at this rate this is going to become a 10-part mini-series HAHA..ha..ha....ha  
> I'm sorry this was short, but I hope you guys enjoyed it!  
> Teaser for next chapter: Tim, Dami, and Cass


	24. The Depression Wave (Part 5 - Tim)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of Suicide

Tim found himself wandering around the hallways of Gotham U aimlessly after he ended his term paper. His mind kept drifting back to what happened in the morning, and it was bringing back many unwanted memories for him. At the centre of it was the time Dick tried to kill himself in front of Robin and Batman. All that blood oozing out from his chest as Robin tried to stop the blood loss. The serenity that was on Dick’s face as he was bleeding out.

 

He couldn’t help but wonder, was keeping Dick alive and here with them morally wrong?

 

Deep down, he knew they needed Dick more than Dick needed them. Without Dick, the family would probably fall apart. Having only Alfred left to butter the conversations between Bruce and himself, Jason would most likely up and leave – leaving Bruce with 2 sons lost. Tim wouldn’t be able to handle seeing Damian every day, so he too would probably move out, leaving Bruce alone with Damian. After seeing how Bruce shut down after losing Jason, he supposed Dick’s death would kill Bruce and shut down his ability to communicate with people, including his perpetually angry and emotionally stunted 10-year-old son. With no one left at home for Cass, she would most likely leave as well, choosing to travel the world instead. Damian would be angry and confused about the whole thing – why would the only person who believed in and truly loved him leave him all alone? Why would his mentor, the one person he felt he could trust, kill himself? Was he not good enough for Dick? And Alfred, poor old Alfred would once again be left to take care of a huge empty manor without love or laughter.

 

Will any of them ever be good enough to keep Dick alive? He didn’t want to know. Looking at his surroundings, he noticed that he had somehow ended up outside the Department of Philosophy. An idea formed in his head and he walked into the reception, asking if any professors were available for a consultation now.

A few minutes later he was sitting in the office of one AP Stephen.

 

“So, how can I help you today?” The AP asked, smiling warmly at Tim.

“I just had a quick question I wanted to ask about. Is it morally permissible to prevent someone from dying by suicide? Even when you know that he’s been suffering all this while and dying would give him some long-needed closure?”

 

AP Stephen’s brows rose before furrowing. “Do you know someone who intends to commit suicide?”

“Maybe. For the sake of the argument, let’s just say that everything I’m telling you is theoretical. What is philosophy’s stance on stopping a person from theoretically dying by suicide, even when you know that his death can provide him with relief?”

 

“Well, that’s an interesting question. But to answer that, we need to understand if we feel suicide is moral or not. In Christian inspired philosophy, G. K. Chesterton calls suicide "the ultimate and absolute evil, the refusal to take an interest in existence". He argues that a person who kills himself, as far as he is concerned, destroys the entire world. Liberalism, on the other hand, would argue that any choice that one might make that would deprive one of the ability to make further choices should be prevented. A philosopher, John Mill used the example of a man about to cross a broken bridge: we can forcibly stop that person and warn him of the danger, but ultimately should not prevent him from crossing the bridge—for only he knows the worth of his life balanced against the danger of crossing the bridge.”

 

AP Stephen paused to see if Tim was keeping up with his explanation, before continuing “Utilitarianism, on the other hand, would see suicide as a double-edged sword. Even though the death of a person ends their suffering, the person's family and friends will grieve. So now, the real question is, do you believe that dying by suicide is moral?”

 

“My brother once told me about one of Schopenhauer’s arguments for suicide. ‘It is an extravagant demand that a man who no longer cares to live for himself, should still go on living as a mere machine for the benefit of others’. No being should be made to suffer unnecessarily, and suicide provides an escape from suffering. But I don’t agree with him. It should be morally impermissible to die by suicide just to satisfy the needs of a person. If his death brings about a much wider repercussion that affects so many others, then he shouldn’t be justifying his own need to die.” Tim replied

 

“Ah, so you’re subscribing to the deontological camp of argument. Immanuel Kant argued that ‘He who contemplates suicide should ask himself whether his action can be consistent with the idea of humanity as an end in itself.’ One is ethically required to consider whether one would be willing to universalise the act: to claim everyone should behave that way.”

 

“But I don’t think it is morally right for me to force a person to only think about others when he is himself in suffering. What gives me the right and power to stop another from making a choice to benefit himself when he’s already been giving so much to others all this time that there’s nothing left for himself?”

 

“This brings us to the second part of your question. Does a person have a moral obligation to prevent someone from dying by suicide? How strong does our moral obligation have to be?”

 

The two fell into silence as Tim contemplated his answer.

“If it is morally wrong for someone to commit suicide, then as a person I would have a strong moral obligation to prevent him from killing himself. And the more worth he has to the greater society, the greater the power I have to prevent him from committing suicide. I would be fulfilling a basic role in society by preventing one from committing an impermissible act that is morally wrong. But if there is nothing morally wrong with committing suicide, but rather, justifiable, then I have a minimal responsibility towards preventing the person from committing death by suicide and one could even argue that my stopping of his act of suicide is morally impermissible and even infringing on his rights as a person to have control and freedom over his own life.”

 

“Does this answer your question?”

 

“Yes, but I still don’t understand if it is morally permissible to prevent someone from taking his own life?!”

 

“Yes, but that will all boil down to your own understanding of if it is morally permissible to commit the act of suicide in the first place, which you have already argued that it isn’t, and therefore to you, it is completely fine, and even your right, to prevent someone from committing the act of suicide.”

 

“Oh. I see. Thank you for your time.”  Tim responded, making a move to leave.

 

“No problem. And Tim? Theoretical philosophical arguments aside, if you know someone who is contemplating suicide, unless it’s due to a terminal illness, you should always try to stop the person from doing so. If you feel guilty about theoretically stopping someone from death by suicide, then you should talk to someone. The school offers free counseling sessions if you need.” AP Stephen said worry etched on his face. For whatever reason, he felt a strong sense of unease at the way Tim had approached the subject, and really hoped it was just some theoretical question. Tim gave him a small smile before leaving his office.

 

He still didn’t feel any better about saving Dick. Deep down, he couldn’t stop feeling that he was selfish, that they were all selfish for forcibly keeping him alive. He’d seen the panic attacks. He heard the nightmares. He saw the self-harm scars. He was there when Dick tried to kill himself. He saw the peaceful look on his elder brother’s face. It was something he never noticed before. How tense and tired Dick always looked. But when he was dying – at the moment – he was serene. At peace with himself. He didn’t understand how they justified keeping him alive for this long. Sometimes, it was like Dick was just a machine, going around pleasing everyone and ignoring his own needs until everything came crashing onto him and he couldn’t function.

 

His brother’s words reverberated around in his mind.

 

‘It is an extravagant demand that a man who no longer cares to live for himself, should still go on living as a mere machine for the benefit of others’

 

Sending a quick text to Wally requesting for a meetup before the team went to visit Dick, Tim made his way to a nearby Starbucks and began contemplating his conversation with the AP.

 

Everyone had always wanted to understand why Tim was so uncomfortable discussing Dick’s Depression and suicide attempts. It must have been pretty obvious since even Bruce noticed it. It wasn’t like he could help it. He was barely a teen when his idol attempted to commit suicide in front of him. Ordering a Triple shot espresso and a bagel for himself, he took a seat by the window and waited for Wally.

 

Young Tim had taken upon himself his duty as Robin to fix the broken relationship between his idol and his mentor, and he thought that he was doing a good job. Despite his avoidance of Bruce when he was in the Manor and lack of blessings for Tim to be Robin, his predecessor was becoming more and more cheerful and lively. It was almost like something suddenly changed in him and he had received closure from Jason’s death. Tim thought that maybe he was helping and being a positive influence on Dick, and maybe he had been a part of Dick’s healing process. He wasn’t sure about it, but seeing his idol somewhat back to situation normal, Tim was happy too. Only it wasn’t Dick returning to situation normal. No. It was because Dick had already planned his own death. He was going to kill the Joker, then himself. He was livelier only because he was counting down to the day that he would end his own suffering.

 

It was like Tim had been slapped in the face.

 

It hurt, more than anything.

 

His idol tried to kill himself, and Tim did nothing to help the situation.

 

Knowing that Tim was running around masquerading as Robin was probably a constant reminder to Dick of what he’d lost.

 

It was his fault that Dick tried to kill himself.

 

He was almost afraid to see how peaceful Nightwing looked, knowing that he was going to die.

 

Dick probably hates him because he saved him.

 

Stopped him from receiving eternal peace.

 

From reuniting with his parents and his brother.

 

What right did he have to do that?

 

Tim knew how much Jason meant to Dick. He knew.

 

He would never live up to the long shadow of Jason Todd. He couldn’t fill those shoes. And Dick’s suicide attempt was nothing more than a rude wakeup call that he wasn’t enough to fill the void Jason left behind. No matter how hard he tried. He wasn’t good enough.

 

“Hey, Timmers! What’s up!” Wally’s loud and jovial voice shook Tim out of his own thoughts as he jumped a little in the chair.

  
“Hey, Wally! That was fast.” Tim replied, motioning for Wally to take a seat. His brother’s best friend was really a mess. Just like Dick. Birds of the same feather flocked together. He’d heard many stories about Dick and Wally’s glorious prankster days and was glad he had yet to be a subject of their pranking.

 

To be fair he didn’t really know Wally as well as Jason did, but Jason and Wally were mortal enemies so there’s that. Wally quit the team a little after he started University, and since he was pursuing his post-graduate studies at Harvard, there weren’t many chances Wally had to meet Tim.

 

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Wally asked, plopping down into the seat opposite Tim.

 

“Oh, I uh- I just wanted to ask you. I wanted to ask you how you dealt with Dick’s suicide attempts.”

 

Wally’s facial expression did the same exact thing AP Stephen did – his eyebrows rose, before furrowing together.

 

“That came out wrong. I – what I really wanted to ask was, do you feel guilty for saving Dick all those times? From preventing him to commit suicide? How did you know it was the right thing to do? To stop him from – from being at peace with himself?”

 

“Oh, that’s easy. No. I don’t feel guilty about saving him at all. I am guilty for the times I almost lost him, but saving him? I would do it in a heartbeat. Not gonna lie those were the darkest times of my life and I really didn’t know what I had to do to stop him, but he’s my best friend and I would go through hell and back to save him. Every single time.”

 

“But what reason did you have to save him? There isn’t any rule stating that you must save him or else. Why did you choose to save him every single time instead of letting him end his own suffering?”

“He’s my best friend. That should be reason enough for me wanting to save him. He’s an idiot who can’t see how amazing he is and as best friend my duty is to make him see it. Letting him kill himself doesn’t help him understand how great of a person he is.”

 

“Isn’t it selfish though? Forcefully keeping him alive just because he’s your best friend?”

 

“No. It’s not. He doesn’t want to die. His brain is being irrational, and I make sure I’m there when he’s being stupid. What’s the point of this Tim?”

 

“Well, do you remember when he shot himself in an attempt to die? He looked so serene, but I was the one who forcefully stopped the bleeding and saved him. Sometimes I feel that it was selfish of me to do that.”

 

“Look, Tim. Dick’s clinically Depressed. That means that his brain is chemically imbalanced and will sometimes make him feel stupid things. It is not selfish of you to prevent him from doing stupid things in an attempt to stop feeling emotions.”

 

“But how do you know that? Who’s the moral authority on who gets to choose who lives and who dies?”

 

“Let me ask you this instead, Tim. If a person had a nasty allergic reaction to their food right now, would you save him or let his body kill him?”

 

“Obviously I’ll save him!”

 

“Apply the same logic to Dick. Depression is a mental illness. If a person had an allergic reaction to their food and went into anaphylactic shock as a result, you wouldn't just stand around and let their body kill them, even though they were 'doing it to themselves'. You'd get some epinephrine into them RIGHT NOW no matter what. Letting some stupid mental illness kill someone for no good reason is exactly the same. So, if a stupid chemical malfunction is making Dick’s body try to kill himself, you don't let it.”

 

“Oh, I see. Thank you, Wally, I needed this.” Tim replied with a smile, and for the first time, his heart felt lighter than it had in years.


	25. The Depression Wave (Part 6 - Cass and Damian)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I took so long, but here's an update! Thanks for your support you guys.  
> As usual, TW for this chapter: self-harm, suicide ideation, frank discussions of depression  
> And a poor attempt on my part to try and explain to a 10-year old what depression is.

Damian was bored out of his mind while his teacher droned on about plant biology. He already knew what the teacher was teaching and didn’t understand why his father had insisted he attend classes that were so insipid and uninteresting. Classes with Richard were much more interesting. Richard had promised him that they will be discussing the effects of neglectful upbringing on the development of the adolescent brain soon. While this teacher was talking about plant cells, Richard was teaching him about gray matter in the mind and how the “self” is perceived by the brain.

 

Sighing as his thoughts went to Richard again, Damian began pondering and cataloguing what he had heard his family say over the past few days, as well as Richard’s behaviour. While he truly believed that Richard was fine, he couldn’t help but go back to what Cassandra had told him last night. If he were being perfectly honest with himself – he was interrupted from his train of thoughts when he saw Cassandra waving at him from outside the window. He scowled as he read Cassandra’s signs – _“Find an excuse to leave class”_ she says, like that’s something that people just do. Wait. That is something that people do. Which is also something that Damian is going to do.

Raising his hand, Damian put on his best ‘I’m sick face’. Drake had taught him that one night when he complained about having to go to school and sit through 8 hours of boring classes.

Finally, his teacher noticed his hand.

“Yes, Mr Damian? Do you have any questions about what was just covered?”

“Actually Ms, I’m not feeling very well. Could I get a sick pass?”

“You seemed fine earlier on.”

 

Quickly thinking on his feet, Damian responded: “Yes, and now I feel like I’m about to vomit, Ms.”

He added in a few gagging actions to make it seem more realistic.

 

“…Fine, take the hall pass and go to the nurse’s office”

 

He took the hall pass. But he was definitely not going to the nurses’ office. Leaving through the school field, he jumped over one of the school’s fences to meet Cassandra, who looked very amused.

“Get in” Cassandra pointed to the sportscar she most likely hotwired from Bruce’s garage. She didn’t have a driving license. WHY was she driving a car? She doesn’t even drive.

“I want to drive” Damian announced.

Cassandra rolled her eyes, before repeating herself while pointing at the passenger seat “Get. In.”

“Tt.” Damian responded as he got into the passenger seat without more complaint, just a little afraid for his life. Nah. He’s Batman’s blood son and successor to the League of Assassins. His mother is Talia Al Ghul. He’s not afraid of Cassandra or her lack of driving skills. Nope. He just likes Cassandra. A little. Not because she’s scary when she wants to be or anything. Nope.

“What are you doing, Cain?” Damian questioned. He had a reputation to upkeep, you know.

Cassandra ignored him, sticking her tongue out in concentration as she sped down the road back to the manor.

“You do realise I just skipped school, right?” Damian asked again.

Cassandra ignored him again.

“Are you going to tell me why you made me play truant?”

Cassandra looked at him for a little, before turning her attention back to the road.

“Shut up.”

Damian was so stunned by those words that he actually shut up.

Shut up she says. Like she can tell me to just Shut Up. No one tells me to shut up. I’ve never been told to shut up before. How dare she tell me to shut up. Who does she think she is??! Even mother never told me to Shut Up before! Fine. I’ll shut up. But only after I display my displeasure.

“Tt.” Damian loudly responded.

Cassandra gave him an eye roll before turning back to the road.

“Drama Queen” Cassandra commented.

 

Both of them stayed silent the rest of the drive home, in the car Damian was very sure Cassandra stole from Bruce. After she nearly drove the car into other cars parked in the garage, both of them got off and Cassandra signalled for Damian to follow her. Instead of walking into the manor, Cassandra opened a door that was on the roof of the garage. Which Damian totally knew existed. Yup. He was just as observant as Cain.

 

Both of them climbed up into the space which Damian had OBVIOUSLY been in before. It was a dark and musty space, but the ceilings were high enough for a person to crawl through. It was really tight though.

As he subtly tried to look around and take in the space, Cassandra explained “Old house have space because of temperature. To regulate cold and hot. Sound Absorption too”

“I knew that” Damian replied, not blushing at his ignorance. No, it was just really warm suddenly.

Making the sign to be quiet, Cass took out a torch from somewhere and guided Damian down the long dark hall. She stopped when they reached a hole covered by grills and pointed through the gaps. Damian peered through it and saw that they were in the ceilings of Richard’s room. He saw Todd comfortably reading a book, while his father was holding Richard’s hands gently. He hated how his father was looking at Richard like he was dead. He’s alive,  just sleeping. That’s all.

As he was busy scowling at the scene, Cassandra began poking his cheeks.

Throwing a stare at Cassandra, he mouthed “WHAT.”

Cassandra pointed forward, and they continued on their way down the space.

As they crawled, the space slowly became larger and finally ended in a room. Cassandra removed the grills that separated the 2 spaces and jumped down. She flicked a switch and the lights in the room turned on. Inside the room (which once again, Damian totally knew about) were many boxes of files and folders.

Damian gave Cassandra a questioning look.

“Storage room”. Cassandra replied.

“Isn’t there a better way to get in here?” Damian questioned, pointing at the trap door on the other end of the room.

“Yes, but you skipped school. Secret way in.” Cassandra responded, and Damian suddenly felt very cheated.

Also. What the hell were they doing in the storage room?

“Why are we here, Cain?” Damian asked, not really sure he wanted to know the answer.

Instead of replying him, Cassandra sat down in front of a group of boxes and began pulling out folders. Beckoning Damian to join her on the floor, she passed him one of the files.

Damian opened it and was greeted with the sight of many poems and poetry analyses.

“I’m not interested in Todd’s classics,” Damian said.

Cass shook her head. “Not Jason’s. Dick’s printed submissions. For University course.”

 

Intrigued, Damian started reading through some of it.

 

Written in partial fulfilment for course: Love as a Force in Poetry.

Harvard University

Faculty of Arts and Sciences

 

Recovering doesn’t mean

The scars

Go away

 

Recovering doesn’t mean

The tears

Never happened

 

Recovering doesn’t mean

Nights of loneliness

No longer exist

 

Recovering doesn’t mean

The voices

Disappear

 

Recovering is

Fighting the parts of myself

That hurts me

 

Recovering is

Accepting that

I will hit rock bottom again

But knowing that

I have people around me

Who are willing to help me up

As the cycle begins again

And I learn

To love myself.”

 

Flipping to another page, he was greeted by another poem

 

Written in partial fulfilment for course: Love as a Force in Poetry.

Harvard University

Faculty of Arts and Sciences

 

I apologise

For all the times I’ve called

In the middle of the night

Hoping for comfort.

 

I apologise

For all the nights I’ve ruined

You could have spent living

The life you deserve.

 

I apologise

For all the lives I’ve dragged

In my need to feel

Like I’m not insane.

 

Thank you

For loving

Someone who

Doesn’t deserve your love.

 

 

The following page in the folder was yet another poem.

 

Written in partial fulfilment for course: Love as a Force in Poetry.

Harvard University

Faculty of Arts and Sciences

 

You’re such an Inspiration.

I’m tired.

But.

Societal Expectation Number 1.

Smile and thank them.

Carefully explain why I am not an inspiration.

Do not hurt their feelings.

Do you know you’re really handsome?

I’m really very tired.

But.

Societal Expectation Number 2.

Smile and thank them.

Carefully explain why I don’t need them to describe to me what I look like.

Do not hurt their feelings.

Do you need any assistance?

I’m so exhausted.

But.

Societal Expectation Number 3.

Smile and thank them.

Carefully explain why I don’t need their help crossing the road.

Do not hurt their feelings.

I don’t know how you do what you do.

I can’t find my energy to respond.

But.

Societal Expectation Number 4.

Smile and thank them.

Carefully explain why there’s nothing amazing about what I do.

Do not hurt their feelings.

You shouldn’t be in University.

I just want to lie in my bed and never move again.

But.

Societal Expectation Number 5.

Smile and thank them.

Carefully explain why there’s no reason I can’t be in University.

Do not hurt their feelings.

…

I know the person said something.

But.

All I hear

are the voices in my head

reminding me that their feelings

matter more than mine.

… Stop torturing my best friend.

I feel drained.

But.

Societal Expectation Number 6.

Smile and –

What?

… Stop torturing my best friend.

Thank you for being the voice

That reminds me

Sometimes

Maybe I matter too.

 

 

 

“I think you’ve proven your point,” Damian said, his eyes red. Not because he was going to cry. It was just really dusty here.

 

Cassandra shook her head “Read the last poem”

 

 

Written in partial fulfilment for course: Love as a Force in Poetry.

Harvard University

Faculty of Arts and Sciences

 

A little girl once asked me

Uncle, what are those lines

On your arms

 

i didn’t know how to

 

tell my friend’s daughter

that sometimes

people hated themselves

 

explain that

some days

i don’t want to wake up

 

tell a child

that the person she calls uncle

might not be here tomorrow

 

tell her

that the lines on my arms

were my desperate attempts

clutching at nothing

gasping for air

as my mind attacked me

and i assisted it

 

how do you tell a child

who has yet to experience the world

who is so full of wonder at everything

and looks up to you

 

that you are a terrible person

who doesn’t deserve to be alive

that your promises mean nothing

and your smiles are not real

and your happiness around her

isn’t genuine.

 

So I smiled

As I told her a funny story

Of how I once fell

Into rose bushes.

 

Damian looked at Cassandra.

“He does that. A lot.” Cassandra said.

“Does what?”

“Lying. He’s sad. _but he doesn’t believe he deserves care or concern,”_ Cassandra said, before signing. _“you asked him about his scars before. Remember what he told you?”_

 

“Grayson is an idiot,” Damian responded with a frown.

Cassandra continued looking at him, waiting for him to come to some sort of conclusion.

After a moment, she realised that the conclusion from Damian was never going to come, and so she did it.

_“Depression isn’t just something you read in medical books or observe with your eyes. There’s no way to understand it without living through it. He has hidden his torment from everyone for so many years that you have to read between the lines. Good days easily become bad days; bad days become worse days.  And it’s not something everyone can take. Wally almost became depressed from living with Dick. Bruce still doesn’t know how to handle it. Timmy always runs away from it. I understand if you find it difficult to comprehend but know that it exists and accept that some days more than others, he finds it difficult to even be alive. Your understanding rather than denial of it will help him in ways you can’t even comprehend.”_

“You don’t even read books, Cassandra,” Damian responded.

“Barbara.” Cass said, before signing _“Accepting that this will happen sometimes means that he doesn’t have to pretend to be okay around you because he knows you accept him as he is.”_

 

“I’ll be more tactful.” Damian offered. It was difficult for him to accept this other side of Richard that he had never met before, but he figured it was the least he could do after all that Richard had done for him.

He’s just repaying Richard for his kindness. He didn’t like him or anything. That would be absurd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, the last poem is a 3 in 1 I wrote! SO there are 3 ways you can read it, 1 is to read the whole thing, 2 is to read just the parts that are written in Sentence case, and the 3rd way to read it is to just read those in lower case!  
> In fact, all the poems here have little Easter eggs hidden in the structure of it! See how many you can find :p
> 
> I think i am nearing the end of this mini-series.  
> The next one will be on Wally and the team!  
> As usual, if you have any ideas you could leave a comment below and i'll see if im talented enough to make it a story!


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